The 3 Types Of Men And What You Need To Know About Them
If you want to step up your dating game
When it comes to dating or being in a relationship, I've learned to prioritize self-development to maintain a healthy relationship with myself.
Understanding each connection and what it's trying to teach me has become quite empowering.
So often, we are searching for that special one we plan to spend the rest of our lives with that will be the most fulfilling experience.
Only to be left stranded dealing with another break-up, wondering how we got it wrong yet again.
Suppose you can change your perception and understand the kind of men you attract are all teaching you something about yourself.
Therefore, you can start to work on your personal development when it comes to your relationships and begin weaving out the ones that aren't aligned with your values.
As I began to dive deep into my relationship, I found myself bingeing Jonathan Aslay, a relationship coach and the author of "What the Heck is Self Love Anyways." It's not the first time I've been drawn to his content; his mission is helping women in their midlife find love.
What I found particularly interesting this time was the three types of men Jonathan mentioned on his YouTube channel that women need to be aware of so they can adequately screen men through the dating process.
The users
These men come in hot and heavy, love bombing you right away. They don't plan to stick around for long unless you're willing to put up with them.
They're the manipulators and will tell you anything you want to hear to get you into bed.
They will prey on insecure women who don't value themselves. Women who attract this kind of man will feed on every compliment, waiting and wanting more.
The user won't show you many emotions or display vulnerability, but they will be inconsistent when spending time with you. Unless you recognize the red flags early on, you will be confused in this connection.
Here are some key red flags to watch out for:
- His words contradict his actions when it comes to wanting a relationship.
- He wants to take it slow. Although getting to know one another slowly can be healthy, the relationship won't seem to be progressing at a normal rate.
- Conversations are surface-level, and he doesn't dive deep into his personal life with you.
- He breaks up with you and wants to get back together.
- He avoids commitment conversations with you.
If you find yourself attracting this type of man, it might be a good time to put dating on hold and work on your self-worth.
The spenders
The spenders are men available only for connection, sex and companionship. They can be vague about the future and cannot go deep with you in the relationship. Underneath, they are unavailable men who fear commitment.
These types of men could be coming out of marriages who may not have their finances in order and live in limbo. They could have health issues or a myriad of unstable life conditions they are afraid to involve you in.
They cannot build and grow with you; you are most likely their stepping stone to the next woman.
Although he may want a relationship with you, the spender will pull away if he feels you are falling in love with him and the connection isn't going at his pace.
The best thing you can do is let him go, or you might find yourself in a hot and cold connection, leaving you feeling insecure and confused.
“Stop giving wife benefits for girlfriend prices” — Jonathan Aslay
Usually, when we attract unavailable partners, a part of us is unavailable. It's important to dive deep into your personal development to understand what you might fear in relationships and your attachment style.
The builder and growers
These are solid men who have their life together. They are not going to be vague or wishy-washy. They know who they are and what they want in life.
Their approach is sincere, and they will have no problem discussing commitment; he is fully transparent about all aspects of his life.
The grower embraces his self-development because he knows how important it is to him and you.
The builder will discuss a future with you, and you won't question his intentions.
He oozes self-confidence and emotional maturity and won't rely on you for therapy, co-dependency, and trauma bonding.
He's the real deal, and he will let you know if he isn't interested. There won't be any deceitfulness or game-playing on his part.
You know you can trust and lean on him if needed.
Dating and relationships are opportunities to understand and learn more about yourself. Not all connections are meant to last, but if you want a lasting relationship, understanding the kind of men you attract might be the first step in understanding who you are.
By empowering yourself with the knowledge of the type of men you attract, you will have an easier time screening them during the first few dates, which will ultimately step up your game.
Even if you've been dating someone for some time and feel they are disconnecting or can't show up fully for you, then letting them go might be the right thing to do.
Most importantly, reflect on your past partners and dating experiences instead of jumping right into the next connection.
Instead, taking time and working on your self-development will make you feel more empowered and confident for the next dating experience or relationship.
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Jennifer Pitts is a certified nutritional practitioner.
To schedule a consultation for nutrition and lifestyle change, please email [email protected].
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