How to Detect Someone Who Love Bombs

How does it work, and who is love bombing

"I can't wait for you to meet my mom."

"You're like a drug, and I can't get enough of you."

"I love you too."

These are a few examples of what I would hear when dating someone new.

My body would tingle with excitement, making me believe that perhaps I had met the one.

Only for the connection to burn out so quickly, leaving me disappointed and confused.

It wasn't until I started love bombing my dates right back that I gained a new perspective on the kind of men I was attracting and what I was willing to put up with.

After a few months, I realized how dangerous love bombing could become if you're unaware of it and how it can negatively affect your mental health if you're not careful when dating.

Love bombing

According to the Urban Dictionary, love bombing is showering someone affectionately through flirtation, gifts, and words of affirmation.

Although these are common practices in the dating scene or relationships, the difference is when the person who is love bombing begins to use this display of affection as a tool to manipulate you.

Usually, the manipulation starts with the hot and cold phases and over-the-top affection. They can completely ghost you, only to return to your life when they decide.

Why does it work?

As human beings, we love the feeling of someone paying attention to us, and it can come down to hormones such as oxytocin, the "love hormone."

If someone is sending lavish gifts, telling you that you are beautiful or mentioning that you'll be meeting their mom, you begin to form a connection and bond.

This is wonderful in a healthy relationship, but if the connection is toxic and one of the partners has low self-esteem, then someone who love bombs might be able to detect this and utilize it for their manipulation tactics.

For example, on one of my dates, I had a man tell me I was going to meet his mom, and because I had low self-esteem, I believed him. As I bought into his nonsense, he would pull away and ignore me.

Only to return and love bomb me again with phrases such as "I love you too," even though I never mentioned loving him.

As a result, I felt confused and could only break free of these types of connections once I valued my self-worth.

What type of person love bombs?

Matthew Hussey, a dating and relationship coach and author of the book "Get the Guy," mentions on his YouTube channel that love bombing is usually someone who comes into your life and bombs you with intense love and affection for a brief period.

Then they drop you without any explanation, leaving you feeling hurt and deceived.

“It’s a form of narcissism of the enjoyment of someone falling in love with them” — Matthew Hussey

Although you may feel intense pain from the situation, the person love bombing is not thinking of you, and how they made you feel, it has more to do with how they feel.

Having you fall in love with them makes them feel validated; they can move on only when they know they have swept you off your feet and have you hooked.

How to detect love bombing

The reason why it's called love bombing is that someone comes into your life and literally drops a bomb full of love on you. It's hard to notice the red flags because the person can manipulate you by telling you precisely what you want to hear.

That's why people with low self-esteem can become caught up in these toxic connections, which can be a dangerous relationship full of mental and physical abuse.

One of the most famous and extreme examples of this is Charles Manson’s cult of followers. He used the love bombing technique to manipulate and abuse women and men. It became so severe that these people killed for him.

To detect someone who love bombs, you'll need to figure out why you're attracting these type of people in the first place. Usually, it stems from a lack of self-love.

As you gain self-confidence and value yourself, you'll begin to detect these types of people who aren't worth investing in.

If you want healthy dating experiences or relationships, paying attention to red flags is something you'll have to be disciplined with when you come across a person who love bombs.

Although it feels good to have someone shower you with affection if it's over the top and too soon, you might want to let go of the connection to save yourself some grief in the long run.

Remember that someone who love bombs is only interested in having you fall in love with them because they feel validated. After they have control over you, it gives them the power to walk in and out of your life.

It's up to you to value your self-worth so you can detect and disconnect from these toxic connections for good.

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Jennifer Pitts is a certified nutritional practitioner.

To schedule a consultation for nutrition and lifestyle change, visit my website: https://www.inspiredtruthwellness.ca/

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