The 1 Reason People Fail to Live a Peaceful Life
This is what I learned on my spiritual journey and how you can use it to make your life serene and joyful.
“My head is bursting, and I fear my anger will kill me. I can’t cope now.”
Isn’t it common to encounter such kinds of situations? Do you often feel frustrated when others even hint the finger at you? Does anger consume you and make you helpless in its mad episode?
Avoiding anger does not help. The more you try to run away from it, the more bitterly it consumes you.
Your heart may want to evade conflict or confrontation. But you can’t escape it always.
The game of evasion and constant apprehension makes your life stressful.
Your Belief That You’ll Live a Peaceful Life When Everybody Around You Is Calm Is the Biggest MYTH
Yes, a social structure binds us. But binding emotional stability with people is like winning a lottery.
The chances of you being happy then reduce to nil.
Human is the only species that functions mainly on emotions. Every other animal works on its survival instinct. The law of alpha or matriarchy is where everybody bows down. But not in the human ecosystem.
We rely on each other emotionally, physically, and psychologically. We connect deeply with others when we associate with them emotionally.
The connection is healthy. But not dependency.
Most people, after a connection, fall into the pit of depending on others for their emotional well-being.
In intimate relations, you feel your partner is responsible for your emotional state. Sometimes you feel awful when others even mildly criticize you.
You step up immediately to defend yourself. This happens even with mild things.
Why didn’t you call me back? When will you learn to clean/cook properly? Where have you kept my shoes? No, I don’t feel like going outside with you today.
If mild things trigger your anger, then recognize that everything is not as good as you might like to think.
Your Ignorance Is Causing You to Suffer Much More
Instead of confronting, many people rush to take cover. Protecting your heart from a fire of words.
Not daring to face a complicated conversation at the right time overburdens your mental stress. It decays your peace. And after a while, you burst like a volcano.
In the past, I avoided any hard conversations. It made me feel uncomfortable. I wanted everybody to understand each other and give respect and space to everybody.
But expecting others to understand without telling them was asking for too much.
Slowly, I analyzed my pain points and addressed them. I openly talked about my hurt with my mentor.
He said, “Ruchi, you are feeling hurt and pain because it is inside you. The other person said (or did) what they have to. It stirred your emotional imbalance not because of what they said. It happens because you have excessive hurt and pain inside your heart that want to see the light. Ignoring it will only delay your healing process. Ignoring might seem easy, but it hampers your growth.”
Hampers my growth!
Heck no! I could not bear to listen to it. I wanted to get rid of all my density as fast as possible. If watching my ugly emotions is the solution, I’ll do it, however painful it might be.
I watched my heart beat at the bullet’s speed. I cried endlessly. I sat in shock and despair. I allowed everything to rise from within me.
If a situation still disturbs my peace, I go into witnessing mode.
I know emotions need an escape route. For my whole early life, I have suppressed them. But not now.
Blaming others for my situation would have been convenient. Distracting myself would be super easy. Ignoring might also work. However, these will only work for a moment.
If you want long-term peace, diving deep into the self is the only situation.
Peace never depends on others. It always depends on you.
The more conscious you become about your emotions, the more easily peace comes unto you.
When You Face Your Demons, You Realize Everyone Is Facing Their Demons As Well
We all are self-centric. Function, analyze, and judge from our limited perspective.
Nobody can 100% understand others. Not until we face our inner demons.
When I underwent the regurgitation process, I realized we all were in the same boat. Trying to figure out life through limited perception. Yet rarely does anyone want to expand their horizons.
While interacting with others, I now understand the root cause of their suffering.
Nobody is entirely wicked. Everybody is trying to function in the way they know best. It can be through jealousy, comparison, or envy. It is what they know best.
But restricting your life to what others feel is not wisdom.
You don’t have to make others understand. Instead, your job is to go beyond your way of thinking.
Face your demons to get free from life. Trust your emotions. They can lead you to emotional freedom and peaceful life.
Takeaways
Life may seem like a puzzle. But it becomes simple when you profoundly understand yourself. Going deeper inside your emotions is the only way.
Life situations that you are currently facing may seem cruel. But that is where you have to learn your lessons to grow more.
You don’t need a serene world to be at peace. You have the power to create your own peace. It happens when you go deep within yourself.
If you really want peace on earth, create peace in your heart, in your being. That is the right place to begin with, and then spread. — Osho
© Copyright Ruchi Thalwal, 2022
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