Ten Things I Hate About Christmas
A love story of sorts
“Tell her I don’t need anything.” That was my reply when my wife informed me that my stepdaughter had texted her asking for last-minute Christmas gift ideas for me.
As is often the case with me, I couldn’t articulate at that moment the myriad of complex feelings I have around this time of year and the holidays. For whatever reason, words seem to flow on to paper better for me than I can possibly express out loud in a given situation. Hence, the seeds of this article were sewn last night as we drove home from a holiday function.
My stepdaughter and her fiancé are struggling financially in the way that most all twenty-somethings are these days. There is rent or mortgage to pay, student loans, routine bills and unexpected household emergencies that all demand portions of their limited income.
The last thing I want is for them to spend money on me. We are much more financially stable than they are, and truly I need for little.
I hate that she feels compelled to buy me a Christmas gift, and yet I very much love the fact that she is thinking of me, especially as my wife and I only very recently blended our families.
This conversation made me consider all of the things I hate about the holidays, which I will list for you in no particular order. And, as an homage of sorts to the character Kat Stratford in the film “10 Things I Hate About You”, I have assembled them into a poem at the end of the article.
10. Christmas lights — I hate feeling the obligation that I should decorate the outside of my home with lights simply because everyone else in the neighborhood is doing so. I dislike the competitive notion of the idea and the concept of peer pressure in general. But as I walk or drive around the neighborhood the twinkling lights do certainly make the dark days more joyful.
9. Ornaments on the tree — I hate the mishmash of trinkets that are scattered onto a Christmas tree. My orderly sense says that only lights, no more than two colors, hung in perfect symmetry are the only thing that should adorn the tree. Yet, each discordant ornament my family places on the tree carries a memory of a shared time or place past; and I love remembering those times.
8. Giving gifts — I hate that I am expected to dole out gifts to friends and family. I am not a complete curmudgeon, but it is the expectation that comes with the season that rubs me the wrong way. However, it makes me very content to know that I can give my son a piece of technical gear for his volunteer work that he would never purchase for himself or install smiles on my nephews’ faces with a simple box of Legos. I love that.
7. Traditional holiday fare — Why is eggnog even a thing? Fruitcake (gag)? I hate that we are compelled to manufacture a holiday feast for the sake of doing so. I hate that my grandma made a blueberry pie each Christmas because, through a complete misunderstanding, she thought it was my favorite (I don’t really like pie at all). My grandparents passed away just a few years ago and I miss them terribly. I love how each Christmas I think about blueberry pie and the great times I remember sharing with them.
6. Holiday shopping crowds — I hate the traffic; the masses of people and how rude people can seem. People push, block walkways and scowl. Yet on occasion there is an earnest and heartfelt moment exchanged between strangers. I love witnessing that.
5. Getting presents — I hate that people feel like they need to give me a present. I probably don’t need whatever it is; otherwise I would have already bought it for myself. We already have too much stuff and I brood over the number of items in our home we rarely or never use. But it always astounds me when someone relates that they thought of me at a particular time or place. It is never about a particular item; it is the sentiment that I love.
4. Holiday cards — I hate that I feel guilty about sending holiday cards whether I actually do it or not. If I don’t send any, I feel guilt for not doing so, if I do, I wonder if I sent them to all the right people, or if I left someone out? Why is a simple gesture so weighted with responsibility? Call me old fashioned if you will, but there is something about getting a handwritten note in the mail these days. Who doesn’t like that?
3. Holiday food and charity drives — I hate that this time of year means that charities are pushing so hard for donations. Shouldn’t giving be a year-round event, and not concentrated into a 4-week window? Yet, I do like seeing local high school students freely giving their time to collect food and donations. This simple act of selflessness is suggestive of a positive future. There is a lot to love about that.
2. Holiday gatherings — I hate that holidays produce a manufactured pressure to visit with friends and family. Don’t get me wrong, I love the chance to visit and spend time with loved ones. It is the urgency to cram it all into a particular day or days that creates stress we could all do without. Anyone that has been to multiple family events on a holiday in order to not hurt the feelings of a loved one knows what I am talking about. I hate this is the case with the holidays, but I truly love the joy and warmth of seeing friends and family after a prolonged absence.
- All the mixed emotions — I hate that I have a love/hate relationship with the holidays.
So, without additional build up I give you:
Ten Things I Hate About Christmas
By: Timothy Key
[Clears throat]
I hate the way you give me gifts and that I feel made to give in return.
I hate the stupid ornaments on the tree, and the feel of this eggnog’s burn.
I hate the ridiculous Christmas lights my neighbor puts in his yard.
I hate that I forgot to send him a Christmas card.
The fake reindeer and inflated snowman, those I hate as well.
And I really hate how the Santa in front of the grocery store incessantly rings that bell.
I hate all the outrageous crowds and how they make it impossible to get to the mall.
But, as I write, I am realizing that I don’t really hate Christmas at all.
In fact, this poem has made me remember all the things I love about the holidays and years gone by.
That isn’t a tear, no not really, that’s not it. There is just something in my eye.
Happy holidays.
P.S. If you are so inclined, I would love to hear your version of “Ten things” about holidays or whatever moves you as a response.
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Timothy Key spent over 26 years in the fire service as a firefighter/paramedic and various fire chief management roles. He firmly believes that bad managers destroy more than companies, and good managers create a passion that is contagious. Compassion, grace and gratitude drive the world; or at least they should. Follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and join the mail list.