Take That Banana, Gorth!

An adventure of Lucille, the banana barbarian

Lucille, the banana barbarian as she came to be known in the Land of Gorth, draws her banana-shaped double-edged sword and shouts:

“I am ready to peel you, Gorth!”

She had uttered her catchphrase so many times before. From the shores of the green Glake to the high peaks of the eternal Grountains.

But she’s old now. So old. Older than Gorthak the Green.

Her voice doesn’t carry. Nobody heard the challenge. So she takes the yellow megaphone she stole from Gorthak last week, sets it to the one-eyed-vomiting-giant level, and shouts:

“I AM READY TO PEEL YOU, GORTH!”

Her cry resonates in the empty ballroom. Walls are trembling, crystalish chandeliers are swaying, and one whole set of yellow curtains even falls on the floor.

All right, that will do. I’ll come back this evening, Gorth, and you’ll understand they don’t call me the banana barbarian for peels.

The ballroom is already full, but guests keep on arriving. Gorth’s 100th birthday celebration isn’t an event anyone would want to miss.

As the tradition demands, they serve the cake at midnight. Lucille’s tired and would rather be home, chatting with Gorthak over a warm banana milkshake, but this is Gorth’s first 100th; she can’t miss the cake!

A minute before midnight, Lucille enters. The courtiers make way for her. Gorth is in the middle of the room, waiting for the cake. When Lucille and the cake reach him at the same time, Gorth doesn’t know where to look.

“Grandma! I’m so happy to see you. What are you doing here?!” whispers Gorth to Lucille excitedly. “I thought you would stay home with Gorthak!”

Lucille looks at him smiling, and, holding her banana-shaped double-axed sword in one hand and the megaphone in the other, she cuts a piece of cake and shouts:

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GORTH! MAY YOU PEEL MANY MORE BANANAS!”

This was my fantasy response to the popular boxes prompt.

On a related note, have you heard of the Smillew Writers Challenge? It has some great categories like Life, Meta, Mud, and Undies. The best part? There’s nothing to win.

When I’m not here, I’m on Twitter. Send me a DM and win a surprise! 😄