SELF-IMPROVEMENT
Take My Love! Take It!
Day 27, 50 questions for deep self-reflection
This is day 27 of the 50 Questions for Deep Self-Reflection challenge from Know Thyself Heal Thyself created by Diana C.
DAY TWENTY-SEVEN: What would it be like to practice giving less and receiving more?
Giving/Receiving
The first thing that comes up for me in this question is the perception of the ease of giving and the block on receiving. This really doesn’t even make sense, because if you’re blocking receiving, then you’re actually blocking the allowance of others to give.
The whole saying of, “It is better to give than to receive,” has some truth, but it has been bastardized into a place of receiving being negative when the saying is really just about how good it feels when you’re able to help someone else. It’s not about doing that at the detriment to yourself, but somehow, that’s what I, and many others, perhaps even you, learned. That’s what we were taught to believe.
It’s better to give than to receive…
What better way to make a cookie-cutter mold people-pleaser than to teach them to always give and never receive? I do not feel like this question is at all about giving less and receiving more, I feel it is more about having boundaries around giving and allowing self to receive, whatever that means and whatever that brings.
To me personally, ‘giving less,’ means to quite honestly give less f’s. It means to stop placing others' emotions above my own. To stop holding back for fear of how it will affect the other person. Because all that is doing is diminishing self. I shouldn’t hold back from what makes me happy for fear that it may ‘make’ somebody else, not happy. That’s a them problem, not a me problem. My problem is my own happiness and I’ve already said before, no one can control that except for me just as I can’t control anybody else’s happiness. The mother tried desperately to teach me that this wasn’t true, that I was the source of her happiness. And look where that got us: No longer in contact. I hope she’s happy, because, actually, I am!
It’s okay to receive
Receiving more is about allowing help to come to me. No longer saying, ‘Oh no, it’s okay. I’m fine.’ When help is offered, I CAN accept it, I don’t need to question it. I don’t need to check that they really mean it. I don’t need to refuse it. How rude of me to block someone else’s desire to give wholeheartedly by questioning their motives.
Me: “Are you sure?”
Them: “Yes, that’s why I offered.”
Me: “Yeah, but you don’t have to.”
Why are we even having this conversation? Just say thank you, me!
So, what would it be like to practice giving less and receiving more? I guess it would be a gift to self. And that’s probably where I need to start — by giving less of myself to the mask I once wore and receiving more of my truth. That would be phenomenal. That would be love, life, happiness. Ultimately, that would be peace.
Oh, is that what the peace of mind question from day 25 was really getting at?
If you are interested in the journey so far — all the days that came before, I’ve collected all the article links here:
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