Survive Vs Thrive. Ready to Shift from One to the Other?

5 Strategies to Show You How

Earlier this year I had the first life coaching session with a new client, Katherine. I always start out by asking a new client to tell me where they are and where they want to go. We start with this simple, very open ended question.

Katherine knew I was going to ask her this, so she had thought about it and prepared her answer. She looked at me, shook her head from side to side, and said, “Laura, I am just surviving. I have a husband and two kids, we live in the same apartment we did 10 years ago. This is not where I imagined I’d be in 10 years. Just surviving. Laura, I want to be thriving. Can you help me with that?” This surprised me because the Katherine I knew from the gym was energized, playful, fun, a delight to talk to.

I said, “Katherine, what does thriving look like to you?” She smiled really big and said, “I’m not sure. I know I need to get clear about that. I want you to help me figure that out. And, I can’t wait to start.”

Okay. Wow. I thought about it and came up with the following strategies to assist us in our discussions, and to assist her in her “homework” between sessions.

These strategies worked for her. We had lots of great discussions around these topics.

The inspiration you seek is already with in you. Be silent. And listen. -Rumi

The Keys to Thriving

Thrivers live their VALUES.

They know their values and they live in sync with their values. They live authentically. Do you know what your values are? Make a list. Just write down words that resonate to you.

For example, a few of mine are: accepting responsibility, simplicity, courtesy & respect, adventure, nature, playfulness.

It is important to think what your values really are, not what you think they should be, what someone else thinks they should be, or what you wish they were. There are no right or wrong answers. This is the exercise where being authentically you is the perfect answer.

Then, we turn them in to powerful questions to help us make decisions and take action.

How could I do this more simply? What would that look like? How could I do this more playfully? Is courtesy and respect flowing both ways in this relationship? Have I accepted full responsibility for this? If not, what needs to change?

Thrivers TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for their lives, work, health, and relationships.

We’ve all taken responsibility for some things in our lives. To thrive, we must take responsibility for all things in our lives.

Why wouldn’t we take responsibility for the most important things there are — our life, our work, our health, our relationships with the most important people in our life?

Taking responsibility means taking time to think, plan, make decisions, and take action in all areas of your life. How do I need to shift my mindset so that I accept responsibility for my thoughts, my responses, my actions? And, since I want to thrive, what would thriving look like in each area?

Thrivers work in HARMONY WITH OTHERS — they respect and honor differences, they are courteous and respectful in all dealings with others.

We all need to get along with others in our lives, at work, at play, and at home. Courtesy and respect go a long way in creating harmony.

We thrive more with the support, encouragement, and help of others. To get these things, we need to give them.

What actions can I take to help me create more harmony, respect, and courtesy in my life? Where are there opportunities for me to offer more support, encouragement, kindness to others?

Thrivers anticipate and ADAPT TO CHANGE. They LEARN and GROW.

Learning, growing, and change are about things we don’t know anything about yet. This can be scary. We step out of our comfort zone.

Just as everything in nature is growing, changing, or dies, so it is with us humans. Why should we be different? Your nourishment is the learning, growing, loving the journey to manifest our life. You get boring, stale, and stagnant if you don’t learn and grow.

Your self-confidence grows enormously when you are presented with a problem, aren’t sure how to solve it, but figure it out anyway.

We all have the ability to figure things out, don’t we? Thrivers learn and grow this way. So, if you like learning and growing, go for it! Pursue it. Celebrate it. If you don’t, what could you do to make learning and growing an adventure? More playful? More comfortable? What are you attracted to learning? Find groups, teachers, mentors, clubs, reading, role models to help you learn, grow, and change.

As you start to walk on the way, the way appears. -Rumi

Thrivers do the things that INSPIRE them.

Listen to your intuition. What does my heart, my gut, my knowing say is the right next thing to do? How does my intuition tell me to move forward? What could I do differently to feel more joy, delight, or energy, surrounding this goal? What do I really want to happen in my life, work, health, and relationships?

Our inspiration is just our inner wisdom speaking to us. It is never wrong for us. Use it as your roadmap.

Don’t you know yet? It is your light that lights the worlds. -Rumi

Conclusion

You may have found you are not far off shifting from surviving to thriving.

What small steps (or large steps) do you want to do today, this week, this month to move yourself towards a feeling of thriving? To step into thriving?

Then, just start. Begin. Start where you are. Take one step. Start.

Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. -Rumi