Superheroes Can Stretch Too Far

Is it an expectation to live your life like a superhero or your call to action?

Superheroes come to life like cartoon characters in print comics, TV, and film. As live actors with personalities and traits, we can relate to their weaknesses and fears. Thankfully, more heroes are given the space and time within a story to fail during an intense effort or get knocked down and fight to stay in the battle.

Expectations

Parenting what-ifs can consume us. The thought that little lives can change by what we say or neglect to say, how much we are present or away, and as simple as the decision to say “yes” or “no” to a request, whine or cry by them is stressful.

Whether intentional or not, a spouse or co-parent may also put pressure to always get it right, at least in their view. Being dependable by their teachers, coaches, friends, and extended family can add endless responsibilities.

Realization

You don’t have to be the actual superhero on the big screen for your kids to love and adore you. Wearing an occasional cape is a plus, though. Sometimes it’s not the so-called vital conversations you have with them that they’ll remember most. It may be the original silly jokes you laugh about while making dinner or funny songs you wiggle and giggle dancing through the kitchen.

The stress of being a bad parent if you say “no” can be overwhelmingly repetitious. When you listen to their request, clarify their need, give them choices, plan or reschedule the “no,” they can see the effort even when whines or cries may follow. It’s ok to cry when you need to say “no.”

Then you can put on your cape and mask with a post-it sign on your shirt that says “Yes Man” and run around the house together finding all the fun things where you can say “yes.”

Parenting with a spouse and other adults in the child’s life can benefit from balancing each other out in duties, behaviors, daily schedules, or specific need requests. Comparing will never win for the child or your family team. Encourage each other, offer to step in when you sense a cry for help, grant space when asked or as kindness in caring for the family.

Action

You don’t have to stretch miles to keep a safe perimeter around your children, fly higher than the clouds, climb tall buildings in a single bound, or catch all the bad guys. Your strength is in your connection to your children and your loved ones. Your power is in your listening and encouragement for all that interests them.

When we stretch too far, we tend to forget what we’re reaching for or snap under strain. Don’t worry about the “no” and celebrate all the “yes’s” together. Allow their “no’s” as they too voice an opinion, discuss options, help find solutions, or accept a consequence. You are both learning from each other.

As long as your arms are around them or holding them in your heart when distance separates you, they will see you as SUPER as they believe you are.

Thank you for reading. I’m not a Superhero, and I can only be the best version of myself for everyone in my life, and that is enough.