Strawberry Shoplifters of Hell
Comrades, I am here with my little read book (because it seems all the books of Illuminati Ganga are little read *sob*) in which I jot down all the stuff I steal so I can say how bad I feel about it later while trying my best not to laugh!
Yes, the scoundrel has gone and stolen from Metafilter, which I feel real bad about after figuring out it wasn’t actually owned by Mork Zuckerberg, the alien who cries like they know you.
Specifically it was from MetaTalk, this is where the people who frequent Metafilter talk about what they are talking about, because abstraction in the art of conversation is a feature.
The parodies
This is just to say That I have eaten the beans and sausage That were in the semi And which you were probably saving For London Forgive me I’m feeling a little gassy OH GOD, RUN!!!
but hey, looking at the wordcloud it has the word persimmon in it, which isn’t on the page — although there is this parody of Been Caught Stealing
I’ve bean caught stealing; once, at half past 10. I enjoy beans. It’s just as simple as that. Well, it’s just a simmering vat. Add sausages, does What it says on the tin. I cut right through the truck. Cut right through the truck. Up all night! Wished I would die, Been slimed. My, oh my! My girl, she had some too. She had to go and get a new skirt. Toss her undies and shirt. She burned incense for a week. And she still couldn’t air out her flat. When she wants some links, Oh, God, does she pay for it. We cut right through the truck. Cut right through the truck. Up all night! Wished I would die, Been slimed. My, oh my! We sat around the loot. Shart and poot. Shart and poot and Wave gasping for air! And we did it just like that. When we want some links, We really wish we didn’t give a shit. We cut right through the truck. Cut right through the truck. Up all night! Wished we would die, Wished we would die, Die, die, die, die, die, die….
So I don’t know, was a comment deleted, edited — when we get through all these past parodies and move towards the modern times the Scoundrel is going to have some serious automation in order to archive all these parodies for the future.
Evidently these are the poems
parody found at
This is just to say That I bought all of the fabric That you wanted to use for a Christmas Party dress And had saved your money to buy Forgive me
It was so silky and so smooth
and here
This is Just to Say
I have eaten
the beauty standards
that were in
the icebox
and which you were probably
clinging to
for profit
Forgive me
they were ridiculous
so binding
and so cold.
So evidently the yelp reviews for King of Pops, Atlanta, GA once had a This is just to say Parody on it — but damned if I am going through all thse pages of reviews to look for it. But I will say I would like to take that pop outta the icebox and leave a really nice passive-aggressive note for whomever owned it.
HEY — GUESS WHAT
The Ruby Visual QuickStart Guide had this in it:
To use multiline strings 1. Create a multiline string using one of the methods already described:
poem = %q{I have eaten the plums that were in the icebox}
THANKS A LOT LARRY ULLMAN!
The Scoundrel stole your stuff to put here in a little intermission because it was just so a propos.
Darn it, here I am ganking and pranking and wordcloudin the cloddish words of every parody ever dropped, and here this guy is helping to automate the masses against your poor put upon scoundrel.
Anyway, if you want to learn how to automate your attacks against the scoundrel, this book up there seems to help do it.
Parodies found at one of the great long-running blogs of Brad DeLong, gee I wonder if it still exists
NOPE
Well anyway the url of the parodies that were stolen and visualized with the easiest and least imaginative form of visualization there is?
https://www.bradford-delong.com/2006/05/a_new_literary_.html#comments
This Is Just To Say
I have diagnosed the malignant growth that was on your lung
and which you were probably hoping was just a persistent chest cough
Believe me it is mesothelioma so lucrative and so litigously promising
Again another MakingLight hit — and of course it does not resolve on the site, it seems a great shame to not get all this stuff back to point at directly, at one time MakingLight was the primary place on the internet to have your fruit stolen and insincere apologies delivered!
And now just look at it!
And even worse — Archive.org didn’t archive this one. It has disappeared beyond the fields of forever.
This has been another fine outing by the scoundrel, many strawberries were shoplifted and put in our cart, and we have written some very nice apologies about how cold and delicious they were in our little read book.
Now, as is our custom, we will leave you with a pleasant little playlist from the Hitmagist.
Check it out
Previous Outings of The Scoundrel
And of Course — The Original!
