Nabbing The Nectarines

Nocturnal, the nasty scoundrel crept around

And klepto-maniacally found

Some plums within an icebox fast

And took them all, unto the last

And you some hours later, dear,

read this note I left you here!

Wow, my peoples who love to see the scoundrel getting over on people who just want to parody some poems and be left in peace.

I’M BACK-ON LIKE BACON!

And Like Kevin Bacon there are only 6 degrees of separation between me and the people I’m stealing the shit of — so here we have some juicy fruit theftage in the 1st Degree

And again it is another high point for the Scoundrel — this is I believe the first time I take a parody not of William Carlos Williams — this parody is of

The Road Not Taken — By Robert Frost

Two woods diverged in a yellow wood, And I’m glad I did not take both They seemed the same from where I stood And when I looked as far as I could I saw no reason why I should

I could see that one was rough and long From having less people to take, I decided that it would be all along Quite a horrible mistake.

I turned to the other and saw the distance Short and easily taken, With the footprints of many through its existence I could tell that I would not be shaken.

So in the long run I should say That I’m not quite sure to this day Why everyone says to go your own way, for I — I took the one most traveled by And that has made life much easier.

So, basically a parody that reverses the point of the original poem. A common parodical strategy.

Yay, another poem found in 2013, still alive in 2024 — and here I don’t think this is a very honest of your poor Scoundrel. I took this poem and wordclouded it, as is my wont, but is it really a parody or maybe just a poem that has an unfortunate titular coincidence with the most parodied poem in the English language?

To quote is to answer the question

This is just to say our friendship was the best the last time i went to DR you’ve change a lot i found out the reason why you were not the same we promessed that we were going to trust to each other

i guess you dont trust me anymore i knew this was going to happned anytime because the time and distance between two people always erase the importance and beauty of a frinedship or love

i told you i will always remember you because you conforted me when i was sad you Accompanied me in difficult situations and We share laughter and tears When I was about to fall you bore me. but my dear friend dont never forget that i always carry you in my mind and in my heart.

The Scoundrel has sinned against you! He has taken a poem that was not a parody, has claimed it was a parody and wordclouded it, the cheapest form of visualization there is!!

Oh the infamy, the meanness, the uhhm

(hey these plums are pretty good)

the bald-faced perfidy! The crotch giddy humping of frog-goats!

The pincer-eyed gouging of profit from a muddy penny!

The Shenanigans of Hermetamanboy!

For all these (juicy, juicy) things

and more

I am pretty much as sorry as I am able to be!

But what the fuck did I mean anyway”two poems merged and I took them both” damn, 2013 was a long time ago.

Alright, another site that still exists. These were obviously some good choices here. And these parodies are pretty class also — the first is from Kenneth Koch! The coolest and least acknowledged of the Koch brothers. I used to love Kenneth Koch, until he told me to stop because he was so darn irritable.

Anyway what I’m trying to say is this Schmutzie site still exists, as do the poems I was trying to wordcloud

https://schmutzie.com/blog/2009/4/8/this-is-just-to-say.html

And then of course when there are parodies at a site, there will be parodies in the comments at the same site.

I’m sorry to be the bearer of obvious news, but that is the way the internet works.

But some commenters at Schmutzie were very prolific and parodific and so I took their posts out separate, they were the subset of people who parody, those parody multiple times without remit!

So These are the parodies of Schmutzie commenter — Melanie!

Parody 1

This is just to say

I resented your “no indoor pets” policy all of my childhood, so I snub the 3 cats you got after I moved out.

Forgive me.

I never learned to love dependant creatures, and it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

Parody 2

This is just to say

Math, we’ve grown apart and I want a divorce.

Forgive me.

You’ve been a coldly reliable career path, but you’re a stranger to humor, and I miss laughing. Anyways, Language is much better in the sack compared to numbers, such dull company.

And now, after Melanie — the comments of wd40 at Schmutzie!

Parody 1

This is just to say I ate the pizza that you put in the fridge last night I know you were saving it to eat cold out of the fridge Forgive but I was so hungry and I really love the triple cheese.

Parody 2

This is just to say I scratched my ass before making your grilled cheese sandwich and which you probably really enjoyed since you were so hungry and ate it really fast forgive me but I simply do not like washing my hands the water is so juicy and cold

Playlist

Traditionally after the Scoundrel jumps up and down on everybody’s lovely little parody poems we drop a little playlist from the Hitmagist because a fistful of beats makes the thievery go down.

So as to not break tradition — here it comes!

Previous Articles of Interest

And of Course — The Original!