Stop Calling It Porn for Women

There are better, more accurate names for it

My first exposure to porn for women came from my husband’s DVD collection.

When I met him, he had a small box of porn videos tucked in the back of his closet. Some days, when he was gone to work, I’d entertain myself by watching some.

One of them was a film by Candida Royale. I have no memory of what it was called, but it billed itself as porn for women.

Well, I’m a woman, so it should have been the perfect choice for me. I popped it into the DVD player and prepared myself for some adult fun.

Instead, I did a lot of yawning.

There was hardcore sex, but it was about as soft as it gets.

The storyline felt like it was out of a soap opera. The lighting was gauzy. And the sex scenes were way too slow for my taste.

If someone asked me to make porn for my grandmother, this is the kind of thing I’d film.

I couldn’t get through it. I took it out and watched Skater Girl Fever again. At least that was something I could reliably jill off to.

Porn for Women?

Most of my experiences with anything labeled “porn for women” has been the same.

Once in a while I’ll get curious and click on the “for women” category on some random porn site and check out what’s in it. Or I’ll find a site that claims to specialize in porn aimed at women and I’ll have a peek.

And then I’ll almost always go back to my other sources of smut.

So-called porn for women is usually the same kind of thing.

There’s some kind of storyline that’s so mundane and romantic it’s like you’re the third wheel on someone’s date night. Or the setup is so abstract and artsy that you keep checking if you accidentally wandered onto the website for a short film festival.

When you get to the sex, it’s more sensual than playful. There’s a lot of soft touching and eye contact. You feel like you’re watching people who just went through a couple’s therapy session, not a pair of horny fools who are willing to do just about anything for the camera.

The sex acts are typically limited. You have to dig deep to find groupsex, anal, or facials (if you find any at all).

I’m sure all of that is someone’s jam, but it’s rarely mine. I’m more likely to click away and go elsewhere so I can find the dirty stuff I prefer.

But at least it’s better than “porn for women” that isn’t even porn. That shit’s just patronizing.

What Kind of Porn Do Women Watch?

The “porn for women” label feels off to me. I’m a woman and it doesn’t reflect the kind of porn I watch.

I don’t have a recurring search term or a single category I stick to. It’s all over the place. But it’s usually not the slow, sensual stuff that some of these sites think I’m supposed to enjoy.

I love slick and wet massage porn that ends in a glistening fuck.

I like silly, playful, and funny setups. I want to see a girl pretending she’s stuck in a window while her stepbrother takes advantage of the situation. If at any point in a video, someone says “we shouldn’t be doing this,” it’s usually a good sign.

Sometimes, I don’t need a storyline at all. I’ll just go from tab to tab, skipping right to the good stuff.

I’m also really into watching women get rammed hard out in nature.

I’ll enjoy a good blowbang if I come across one.

If the words “babysitter” and “anal” are in the title, I’m going to give the video a chance.

I’ll even watch a girl get fucked while eating spicy noodles because I’m a sucker for novelty.

But mostly, I just go on a whim. Whatever I’m feeling that day, I’ll type it into the search bar and see what comes up.

I don’t think that makes me some kind of weirdo. If anything, I suspect I’m a pretty typical female porn consumer.

Most of the stuff I read about porn and the discussions I hear about it are by women. And they don’t tend to go for the romantic stuff, either.

They fantasize about having their hair pulled by Owen Gray, not being taken gently by a guy who could be out of an LL Bean catalog.

They want double penetration, money shots, and hard bondage, not something from the Hallmark Channel with sex thrown in.

Pornhub backs this up, too. Their 2019 Year in Review report revealed that women are almost twice as likely to watch double penetration, threesome, and gangbang porn than men.

And if I look at the first page of their Popular With Women category, some of the top results are “Fuck My Stepdaughter, Cum On Her Face It’s What She Deserves,” “First Time Anal For Tight Ass Slut!” “Busy college 19yo Ellie fed cum after double penetration,” and a few others that I’m going to quietly add to my watch list.

Call It What It Is

“Porn for women” is an outdated concept.

We need to just call it what it is. Call it romantic porn, erotic porn, or sensual porn, but there’s really no point in gendering it. Especially when it’s not even the kind of stuff women tend to look for.

Some adult sites are starting to catch on and are taking that approach. The one that does it best is Bellesa.

Bellesa promotes itself as a porn site for women, but instead of just serving up the light stuff, it puts it in its own category. The site’s three main categories acknowledge the diversity of women’s (and everyone’s) porn tastes: Sensual (Soft), Passionate (Intense), and Rough (Wild).

I’m hoping to see more people use those kinds of descriptions. Because porn for women is just regular porn.

Women love all kinds of sex. We love soft sex and rough play, passionate sex and nasty fucking. And we love all kinds of porn, too. There’s no reason to pretend we need it softened up. We can handle the real stuff.

If you’re a lady who’s interested in really hardcore stuff, I recommend checking out one of my absolute favorite porn sites, Adult Time. That’s an affiliate link — if you click on it and sign up, I earn a small commission and you’ll be supporting my work. ❤

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