Srini’s Middle-of-a-Romantic-Flight Date Questionnaire

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ONG WITH YOU?</li><li>When I was nine, I saw a ghost in the woods and we became close friends. That ghost is still obsessed with me, staying in my home. Does that make me attractive?</li><li>Do you love ghosts?</li><li>Circle the right answer:</li></ol><div id="038e"><pre>A. You love <span class="hljs-keyword">me</span> because you love ghosts B. You love <span class="hljs-keyword">me</span> because you’re scared <span class="hljs-keyword">of</span> ghosts C. You’re scared <span class="hljs-keyword">of</span> <span class="hljs-keyword">me</span> <span class="hljs-keyword">but</span> you love ghosts D. You love <span class="hljs-keyword">me</span> <span class="hljs-keyword">but</span> you want <span class="hljs-keyword">my</span> ghost <span class="hljs-keyword">to</span> leave <span class="hljs-keyword">me</span></pre></div><p id="3310">40. When do you want our second date?</p><p id="2163">41. Where do you want our second date? Circle it:</p><div id="f4bb"><pre><span class="hljs-selector-tag">A</span>. On <span class="hljs-selector-tag">a</span> plane <span class="hljs-selector-tag">B</span>. Not on <span class="hljs-selector-tag">a</span> plane, babe</pre></div><p id="2a21">42. Did you know — the above second date also refers to our third, fourth and sixteenth date?<i> (Go back to 41 and reassess your preferred answer)</i></p><p id="7195">43. On a scale of 1 to 10, how annoyed are you right now?<i> (1 being not annoyed at all and 10, you are falling madly in love with me)</i></p><p id="9238">44. Are you<i> still</i> successfully filling out this questionnaire?</p><p id="d5ad">45. Why not?</p><p id="3512">46. Now that we had an opportunity to get to know each other properly, answer this carefully — Do you consider this a date <i>now</i>?</p><p id="0851">47. Circle the right answer:</p><div id="4cfa"><pre>A. You love <span class="hljs-keyword">my</span> questionnaire because you love <span class="hljs-keyword">me</span> B. You love <span class="hljs-keyword">me</span> because you love <span class="hljs-keyword">my</span> questionnaire C. You love <span class="hljs-keyword">me</span>, <span class="hljs-keyword">my</span> questionnaire, <span class="hljs-keyword">and</span> <span class="hljs-keyword">my</span> ghost unconditionally </pre></div><p id="e655">Thank you for taking the time to complete this questionnaire. I sincerely value the unbiased information you’ve provided. I’ll contact you as soon as our flight lands — regarding the status of your application.</p><p id="b805">Fasten your seatbelt — <i>or</i> I could do that

Options

for you.</p><p id="52c0">Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow <a href="https://medium.com/muddyum">MuddyUm</a> and <a href="https://medium.com/@srini-here">Srini</a></p><p id="8001">A special thanks to the comedic genius <a href="undefined">T. Kent Jones</a> for his stellar editing and his additional jokes. I highly recommend you check out his profile.</p><p id="2849"><b><i>Falling in love with Srini? Read these to forget him for good:</i></b></p><div id="80b1" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/we-have-a-major-update-on-your-flight-departure-time-d7c08a3037d3"> <div> <div> <h2>We Have a Major Update on Your Flight Departure Time</h2> <div><h3>We sincerely hope you’ve received our update</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*J5iLwb2f3sq6rFxW0oi_PQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="7c9b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-i-think-strangers-think-about-me-when-they-see-me-at-the-airport-ed33678a6d15"> <div> <div> <h2>What I Think Strangers Think About Me When They See Me At the Airport</h2> <div><h3>That guy is full of life</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*9D6tvogxvd-TpZgVM2Z6QA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="1d58" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/now-hiring-break-up-specialists-a8bc19ab56ae"> <div> <div> <h2>Now Hiring: Break-Up Specialists</h2> <div><h3>We kill relationships to save lives</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*5w9v9_GIcoKCX9m7us5PWA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><figure id="238f"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*eZespitKXDNGSypdFVOPtA.png"><figcaption>Brand art courtesy of <a href="https://davidtoddmccarty.medium.com/">David Todd McCarty</a></figcaption></figure></article></body>

Are you successfully filling out this questionnaire so far?

I hope you’ve been enjoying our time together. I’m not — because I’m constantly wondering if you’re enjoying our time together. Let’s get that sorted now, shall we?

Do you consider this a date, even though you just happened to be sitting next to me on our flight?

Are you married? Tick YES and pinch me for Yes. KISS ME for NO.

If you’re married or have a boyfriend, does it bother you that you’re on a date?

Does it bother you that it doesn’t bother me?

Regardless, are you madly in love with me, even though it’s just been thirty-nine minutes of us sitting together?

Do you know how to boil eggs?

That was a joke. Did you laugh?

Why not?

Do you know how to bake a red velvet cake?

That was not a joke. Did you laugh?

Why?

Do you think you’re dashing? (You totally are)

Do you think I am dashing? (I totally am??)

Are you honestly filling out this questionnaire so far?

Why not?

You haven’t spoken a word to me in the thirty-nine minutes of our time together. Why?

Do you not consider this a date?

What are your red flags, green flags, and orange flags?

What’s your favorite red flag?

What’s my only red flag if you can only pick one?

If you can’t answer the above question, let me help you. Do you consider my fondness for red velvet cake a red flag?

Did you see what I did there?

Did you laugh now?

Why not?

Do you even know how to laugh?

Why have you not even smiled ever since you sat next to me?

Do you even love me?

Did you ever love me?

Why are you laughing now?

Are you successfully filling out this questionnaire so far?

What’s your name?

Talking about your name, what’s your Instagram username?

What about your Snapchat username?

Do you want to know my name?

Why not?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

When I was nine, I saw a ghost in the woods and we became close friends. That ghost is still obsessed with me, staying in my home. Does that make me attractive?

Do you love ghosts?

Circle the right answer:

A. You love me because you love ghosts
B. You love me because you’re scared of ghosts
C. You’re scared of me but you love ghosts
D. You love me but you want my ghost to leave me

40. When do you want our second date?

41. Where do you want our second date? Circle it:

A. On a plane
B. Not on a plane, babe

42. Did you know — the above second date also refers to our third, fourth and sixteenth date? (Go back to 41 and reassess your preferred answer)

43. On a scale of 1 to 10, how annoyed are you right now? (1 being not annoyed at all and 10, you are falling madly in love with me)

44. Are you still successfully filling out this questionnaire?

45. Why not?

46. Now that we had an opportunity to get to know each other properly, answer this carefully — Do you consider this a date now?

47. Circle the right answer:

A. You love my questionnaire because you love me
B. You love me because you love my questionnaire
C. You love me, my questionnaire, and my ghost unconditionally

Thank you for taking the time to complete this questionnaire. I sincerely value the unbiased information you’ve provided. I’ll contact you as soon as our flight lands — regarding the status of your application.

Fasten your seatbelt — or I could do that for you.

Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow MuddyUm and Srini

A special thanks to the comedic genius T. Kent Jones for his stellar editing and his additional jokes. I highly recommend you check out his profile.

Falling in love with Srini? Read these to forget him for good:

THE FRIENDLY SKIES

Srini’s Middle-of-a-Romantic-Flight Date Questionnaire

Are you successfully filling out this questionnaire so far?

We Have a Major Update on Your Flight Departure Time

We sincerely hope you’ve received our update

What I Think Strangers Think About Me When They See Me At the Airport

That guy is full of life

Now Hiring: Break-Up Specialists

We kill relationships to save lives