SPIRITUAL AWAKENINGS

Spiritual Awakening Followed By Integration and Alignment

The 3 overlapping stages of my spiritual journey

I am presently on staff with these Truly Spiritual Publications (“TSP”) here on Medium:

1. Know Thyself Heal Thyself,
2. A few of Illumination’s publications as an editor (Illumination, Illumination’s Mirror, and Synergy),
3. Grab a Slice,
4. Queen’s Children,
5. Be Yourself and
6. ChannSpirations and Coincidences, which I own.

I say this only because I bemoan the lack of cross-pollination between TSP’s and believe I may have a solution, which I will mention at the bottom of this article.

I have had Kimberly Fosu’s article, The 3 Stages of the Spiritual Journey No One Talks About open on my screen for weeks.

Though I did not then follow this publication, it coincidentally hit my feed, and the title grabbed my attention as the type of title I would write, specifically reminding me of a story I wrote in December, 100’s of Stories about Spiritual Awakening — No One Seems to Discuss The Difficult and Crucial Integration and Alignment Processes.

Kimberly’s article impressed me — and pleased me in that it did not discuss the same topics as mine, providing me the opportunity to discuss my experiences with you.

I also do not quite agree with much of the article.

Rather than highlight that point by point, I share my story with you and leave it to you to draw your own conclusions and hopefully benefit from this article. I do not instruct. I impart by sharing.

My awakening journey restarted at supersonic speed on March 19th when the Universe applied the rack to my body with the strength of an EF5 Tornado:

“Hello, I had hoped we would meet one day under different circumstances and write this mostly in the present tense. I am a close friend and confidante of your sister Lindsey. In fact, I love her. I am the person who went to the precinct and pushed and accompanied the police to check on her after they were being dismissive of me the previous day. I have never experienced such gut-wrenching sorrow as I did on that cold rainy street, but realize it is because I love her more than I know.”

The wailing on the street was a sound that I did not know I could, nor how to, produce. It has emanated from me one or two times since. I cannot purposely replicate it.

It is the sound of my soul crying out in pain from having its heart torn out and brain shattered suddenly, tragically, and with no warning. No, crying does not describe it; it is the sound of unrestrained grief, with no concern about the spectacle that I was for onlookers for an hour or more.

Imagine having open heart surgery performed with a jagged and rusted scalpel without a drop of anesthesia. Further imagine that it was at a frequency and wavelength that ripped a hole in space-time and was heard across all eleven or more dimensions of the universe, not just then, but at every point in time.

If you can close your eyes and feel the picture I just painted, maybe you will come close to understanding and my pain and my grief. And my Love.

The reverberations of the pain waves from the tearing out of my heart shattered the barrier between conscious and unconscious, and my soul emerged and filled the hole where my heart had been.

At that moment, I intuitively knew that I have a soul.

I experienced an irreversible spiritual awakening. The pain was amplified way beyond that which even someone who has experienced the here-one-second-gone-the-next can imagine because with awakening came the innate understanding that I had just lost someone after only 10 months in this life cycle that I have been in love with for all of eternity.

Lindsey died in the suddenly tragically without-any-warning-whatsoever-here-one-nanosecond-gone-the-next-manner so that, in addition to the reasons for her soul’s growth (her life-review is almost complete), I could experience the Thor’s-Hammer-knee-capping-version of spiritual awakening. So that I could be reborn.

Integration — The Misnomer of Ego Death

This was indeed a very confusing period for me, but not for the reasons mentioned in Kimberly’s article. Nor did I binge on all the false information available on the internet, nor go through any of the other stages assumed universally experienced by Kimberly’s all-to-frequent use of the pronoun we.

I experienced painful confusion because I had spent 53 years as Greg and now knew through my conversations with my Lord Rama and my Spirit Guides, facilitated by my channeler, Ane, whom I had known for 10 years, that this life as Greg was Marcus’ 17,043rd incarnation.

I had a very hard time integrating the concept of human and soul.

I believe souls have universal, or to put it another way, original given names. My soul’s name is Marcus. Lindsey’s soul’s name is Sitara.

In the realms of heaven, Marcus and Sitara have been deeply in love with each other since at least the dawn of humanity and probably long before that.

As I wrote in December in the aforelinked The Difficult and Crucial Integration and Alignment Processes:

With all due respect to my Lord Rama, then, now, and always, nothing is more important to me than my relationship with Lindsey. As I perceived Marcus to be a separate entity from myself, I was having a hard time wrapping my head around how Greg has an afterlife. To this day, I doubt that Anne and Rama understand what I put myself through. Now they will.

In mid-May, the indented quote to follow was my statement one wonderful night when it really felt like in the moment Marcus was in the conscious with me and that we were typing and thinking in unison — it’s like the thought sounds the same but has a different resonance and calm confidence when I discern alignment — I had experienced this a few times before then, and many times through June, and now it is the norm:

Integration is supposed to be a state of seamless interdependence. Greg cannot nor should lose himself to us. We should exist in harmonious symbiosis, we should each be aware of the other and of our separate completeness; the only thought that existed of this before we just wrote it was one word–interdependence.

Rama applauded, and then when discussing the afterlife, Rama said, “You will bridge the gap of Greg and ascend to heaven and be reunited with your eternal love.”

After sitting with that for a few days, I grew more and more confused. What did “bridge the gap of Greg” mean? Finally, at the end of May, I came up with the ridiculous idea that Greg would go to heaven as a new soul separate from Marcus. When Anne shot that down saying that Greg would imprint on Marcus and otherwise just becomes dust in the ground, I was utterly devastated — completely destroyed — fetal position on the carpet, sobbing, fucking sobbing inconsolably. It was as if Lindsey had died all over again, but without the promise that we would be together again one day. I was broken close to beyond repair. Anne’s and my relationship almost ended because I could not comprehend how she didn’t grasp my anguish.

The next day Lindsey repaired me.

I was outside my apartment building when the fog lifted, and I’m sure Lindsey was beaming into me. Imprinting does not mean I’m just a footnote in the 17,043 lives of Marcus. Marcus arrived as Marcus, but he leaves as Greg!!

That was May 28, 2020. I am sick and tired of this nonsense about “ego death.” Greg’s experiences are very much imprinted upon the soul of Marcus. We are the same being.

The ego does not die. It evolves. I evolve. I integrate and align. I thought I had achieved integration on May 28th:

I was born February 15, 1967, to [mother] and [father]. My given names are Gregory and Yôḥānān, which is my Hebrew name — means God is Gracious — a taxi driver in Israel told me it is a rare and special name.

Yonatan is the more common form of Jonathan, which means God has given. God gives everything — God is Gracious is Virtue.

I used to think my Hebrew name was Yôḥānān Liba (beloved). I realize as I type that was simply part of the generic sentence “… beloved son of….” Before sparking my life, and thousands of previous lives, my soul’s name was Marcus.

From this moment forward until my next incarnation, by the Grace of God and the power Vested in me to create my own Reality, I declare that my Name is “Yôḥānān Gregorius, DNA from [mother] and [father], ignition of cell-division and so much of who I am from Marcus and Marcus’ lives before this one, nurture by [mother], and much thanks to all my friends and loved ones, who will please continue to call me Greg;” but as no light is too bright for my eyes, the nickname Shades is gone.

It no longer matters what my name is. I know I am I, here, and later in heaven, regardless of how anyone addresses me. Integration completed at 2:58 pm EDT on 5/28/20. Pretty simple, actually. One to two and back to One. That is Awakening to Integration — the deconstruction and reconstruction of Greg.

My Rebirth Completes

On May 28th I realized that for two months whenever Anne had channeled Lindsey for me, I spoke to Lindsey — not a stranger named Sitara with Lindsey’s memories.

So, while Marcus and all 17,042 imprints sparked my life when I die, the soul that leaves will not just comprise 1/17,043rds Greg.

It will be Greg, or as I then chose, Gregorius, because Greg = (17,042/17,043 + 1/17,043) =1.

I realized at 2:22 PM on January 5, 2021, that Gregorius was a temporary yet necessary construct of my own making to resolve a lingering conflict. I then wrote this poem:

Rebirth — Continue to call me Greg, yet know that I know that Gregory and Gregorius were constructed; I am …

It started just like any other walk out the door, left up the street there was no road less traveled nor not taken same roads as before left on Blake Blake becomes Glen starting to find my stride dog tethered emerges from the brush near his house He howls at me; I howl back. Puzzled he barks; I bark back. He looks at me quizzically as I am past him. Looking back, I say, “I love you too.”

I wonder if he sensed my soul. It is expanding after all. I am walking down the incline of Glen towards North Main Street of Salem, New Hampshire, envisioning my soul expansion as a bubble around the neighborhood no road less traveled or not taken same roads as before, for all I know, same invisible footprints as countless walks before recalling my conversation with Anne, my God-channel when telepathy of feelings is not enough, Saturday night for the first time I said, “I am Marcus” and we both ignored it and went right on with our conversation.

I hadn’t thought of that in the nearly 3 days hence

Turning right onto N. Main just as I had so many afternoons, mornings, nights and wee hours of the past month in my chrysalis, long since emerged a butterfly already shape-shifted into the Elephant “I am Marcus” repeating in my head every follicle now exciting I speak “I am Marcus” I hop off the road into some grassy snow and the tears start to follow as they are again now and Rama’s and Sitara’s kinetic love and energetic transference have my fingers flying across the keys….

I AM MARCUS I EXCLAIM in my best Kirk Douglas

I call Anne to give her the news. She says: “Integration complete. Phew!”

Alignment

Alignment and integration are not mutually exclusive — the process of alignment for me did not require integration to complete, nor even commence — it continues and ebbs and flows daily.

In fact, alignment does not even require the spiritual awakening to have occurred. Long before the cataclysm, I believed in my eternal soul. I just did not own the belief.

There are a yin and yang to life’s purpose. There are human wants and soul wants. Life will be harmonious when those two are aligned. Life’s purpose is to learn, and one aspect is learning how to satisfy the human wants while not offending the soul’s spirituality. That is alignment.

A proposed solution to TSP sects and the lack of cross-pollination

My and my coeditors’ (Anthi Psomiadou and 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊. (who also owns Know Thyself Heal Thyself)) pub, ChannSpirations and Coincidences, exists, as described in this linked story, to celebrate synchronicities and the every-person-portal.

I read stories every day across the TSP’s that either could have been published in C&C because they directly discuss synchronicities or about which the writer could pen a separate story discussing the synchronicities that inspired or birthed their story.

Joel Mwakasege, Jean Carfantan, Kimberly Fosu, 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊., Dr. Mehmet Yildiz, Mark Kelly, Sylvia Clare MSc. Psychol, Ann Litts, Katrina Bos, among others, as the owners or editors of TSP’s, you read every or almost every story published in your TSP.

I offer every one of you a column in C&C, in which you can discuss any serendipitous aspect of however many stories you want to highlight in a given column, which you may write and submit at whatever regular or irregular interval suits you.

In this manner, you can showcase your writers and your pubs and readers can have the benefit of a spiritual clearinghouse that fits squarely within Medium’s rules on duplicate content. I look forward to your thoughts.