Know Thyself Heal Thyself
Sometimes Losing is Winning
Because letting go is a sign of strength
It must be true what is said about wisdom coming with age. I too have my moments. As the years have progressed, I’ve realized that it no longer matters to me whether my opinion is greater than someone else’s or whether I remember something better than someone. I am fine with letting it go. And this has become my general attitude while reflecting on what I want to let go of as a new year looms on the horizon.
One thing about growing up is realizing you don’t hate anything anymore. Things either matter to you or they don’t.
I have learned to let go of useless arguments
In fact, these days, I especially find that some arguments are just a waste of time — time spent in sometimes useless word exchange when I could very well be having a wonderful conversation with someone I really want to talk to, someone I care about.
The truth is, some of these things will never matter — even a couple of hours from now. It won’t matter who won that argument. So, I figure that if I let it go without saying anything — maybe I can give that person a feeling of accomplishment, of winning.
Of course, winning arguments has nothing to do with feelings of self-worth . . . nevertheless it does matter sometimes and some people do tend to believe it does. And this is something I can easily give away.
I am thinking of —
- how, when I play with a young kid, I let her win sometimes. What did I lose? Nothing. But I felt like a winner and her joy was priceless!
- how we sometimes quit arguing with our partner/friend just because we want them to be happy.
- how we apologize to someone we care about even if it is their fault — simply because we love them so much.
With some arguments, I am happy to step back and allow someone else to win — even if it seems like losing. I don’t want my ego to get in the way of someone’s happiness.
But there are arguments that don’t deserve to be let go of.
For example, when someone argues about going against our values, there is no giving in.
When someone argues in favor of intolerance or racism or hatred — we won’t be doing anyone any good by giving in. We probably won’t make a difference by arguing either — I find it best to simply back out of it because all we’ll create is noise — noise we can very well do without.
There are occasions when we can create a positive outcome by letting someone win an argument. And if we are able to let our ego take a backseat and do so, why not consider there are two winners rather than try to be the only one? I think letting go is a sign of strength.
Think about it.
Why do we feel the need to win an argument at any cost?
Can both parties win when one allows the other to win the argument?
Do we really need to argue? How important is the point of argument?
What do you think? Is it worth it to let someone else win and still feel like a winner?
Thank you, Yana Bostongirl for the “Know Thyself” December prompt “What Am I letting go of in 2021?”
This story by Nancy Blackman touched my heart. She says, “I realize I need to sweep the bitterness out the front door of my heart and allow the light to creep into the crevices of darkness.” We all do!
And this one by Sahil Patel is a must-read in response to the same prompt.
Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles ❤ Did you smile today?
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