Someone Stole My Mojo, Baby
Now I’m stealing someone else’s
Lately, I haven’t been writing as much. I have no problem finding new ideas to write about. But for some reason, the time has been speeding along with no actual productivity taking place.
I can’t even keep up with my reading lately. They say the older you get the faster time goes and it seems to be true. At least from my point of view anyway.
I think someone has stolen my mojo. Now it’s my turn to get some other mojo to replace it. Who knows, maybe I’ll get some better mojo than I had before.
Yes! An upgrade is in order.
So I’ve made a command decision to get back into the groove by emulating the Godfather of Medium himself. I figure I can steal (borrow) just enough of his mojo to get back myself on track pronto.
After all, he writes two to three blogs every single day. I need only one. I’m not greedy at all. One will suffice.
It’s not like I’m aiming for mojo dominance here.
I’ve done my due diligence and all my plans are in place. The first part is to imitate Jason Provencio’s stylish hair flip. Surely, this is the source of his Medium mojo.
Since I’m bald or mostly bald anyway, I’m going to use the hair on my chin as a substitute. It’s not quite as flippy, but it is really bushy. I did manage to “flip” the image below, so that has to count for something, right?
Compare the two photos I have provided for your lengthy perusal. I realize my chin shag is nowhere nearly as epic as the Bro-Fro, but I can only work within the confines of my natural essence.
That is why Jason Provencio has all of the mojo! Have pity on me! I’m starting from a negative position here.
Once I have his mojo, my next step is to read all of his daily blogs and then highlight the one I think will get the most views. There are so many to choose from — sometimes I think he must be an AI writer himself.
OMG! How can he write so much in a short period of time?
Maybe he is using artificial intelligence to mass-produce his brilliantly written pieces. I’ve written about that possibility here.
After perusing Jason’s endless catalog of creative content, I have arrived at a contender. Check it out! You will not be disappointed.
Currently, I’m choosing this recent piece, mainly for its combined satirical nature and extreme ass-kissing of the Medium CEO. Or rather, his alter ego.
It is definitely a masterpiece of carefully woven truth and lies. But can you decipher which details Jason uses that are true and which are bold-faced liar-liar-pants-on-fire lies?
I challenge you to try. Alas, you will surely fail. But make sure you clap and comment on both his excellent blog and my paltry, pathetic, link-sharing story.
Thank you for reading. Feel free to read everything I have published on Medium to date. In fact, I urge (beg) you to do so.
Read all of them two or three times each.
And clap furiously for every single one. Fifty times apiece.
Clap until your clapper is sore. Or simply hold the little thingy down to conserve your energy.
And comment as many times as you would like.
But make sure to say only good, gooder, and more goodest things, please.
No negative Nancys, no Karens, or Kyles wanted. Only positive, affirming people should participate in this kind-hearted gesture of goodwill and solidarity.
P.S. Jason Provencio, I will return your mojo once I make a modicum of money by using it. I pinky promise I will not expend all of it — Rusty Shackleford told me that he could imbue it with some Harry Potter magic as well, so it’ll be even stronger when I return it to you. I will have my mojo party, and then you can rule the Medium universe. Sound like a plan?