SOCIETY
Slow the Internet Down — Save Our Sanity
How about slower speeds, not faster ones!

Remember the old days of the internet when you used to run a telephone cord from your bedroom to your parent’s internet dial-up connection?
Ten minutes later your dad would knock at your door complaining you were chewing up all the bandwidth! (A new word back then.)
‘I’m researching a project for school,’ I’d say. ‘I need the World Wide Web.’ (Another new word.)
Two minutes later, I’d open the door looking flushed and hand him the cord: ‘You can unplug it now, I’ve finished. Thanks!’

When Napster came along, the country’s internet ground to a halt.
‘Why’s the connection so slow honey?’
‘I think Michael’s doing his homework upstairs.’
Like hell he was!
While his parents were logging onto Find Your Friends, Michael was ripping off every game, music album and porn video he could find.

How things have changed.
With connection speeds now in excess of 500 mbs, kids can download half the world’s film stock without a ripple.
That’s an 89,235% increase in speed compared to 1997. If a car back then had a top speed of 200 mph, using the same calculation, a car today should have a top speed of 1,785,514 mph.
Clearly internet speeds have improved faster than automobile engineering. But who wants to travel that fast anyway?
This is my internet speed right now.

My wife teaches online during the day, and we never have any problems.
I mean how much BANDWIDTH do we need? If it takes 0.0005 seconds longer to load your browser, what are you going to do, call 911?
‘Help! Help! My internet connection is lagging at 195mbs, call an ambulance, I’m having a heart attack.’
I have friends in the tech industry who tell me that the average household needs no more than 20 mbs, max! Yet the hard sell of the internet companies is that faster speeds means YOU CAN DO MORE!
But do we want to do more? Aren’t we already stressed out?
Sometimes when the internet goes down — which it does, as I live rural — it’s almost a relief. My wife might lose a class, but as most of the people she teaches grew up in a time when the internet didn’t exist, they’re almost as happy as she is.
Faster speeds can mean only one thing: the ability to cram more into our days than we did before.
Result: heart attack!
Instead of increasing internet speed, we need to slow it down. Or turn it off.

Imagine that? No internet. Not even dial-up.
Although dial-up might be fun. We could then sit in our rooms again for hours waiting for a Prodigy album to download while smoking a joint and reading a book.
Remember that?

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