Sexuality/Self

Sleeping Around Doesn’t Make You A Better Lover

Promiscuity vs. Expertise.

Is a sexually promiscuous person automatically good in bed?

We might assume that this is the case more often than not without even realizing it.

I have found that sexual promiscuity and the quality of the sex being had don’t always make for harmonious dance partners.

Sexual promiscuity is defined as indulging in promiscuous (casual and indiscriminate) sexual relations OR ‘sleeping around.’

To me, providing a quality sexual experience in the bedroom, knowing what you’re doing, and doing it relatively well seems preferable rather than rushing through a large number of sexual partners without much thought or care towards them or their needs.

Of course, let me just say that everyone is different and I’m sure there are those who are able to have many sexual partners and also manage to be phenomenally attentive lovers to each and every one of them.

However, there’s something to be said for stopping to smell the proverbial roses and slowing down to appreciate who you’re being sexually intimate with in order to gain some real and meaningful sexual experience.

Quality over quantity is the key idea here.

Anybody can have sexual intercourse with many people without really giving their sexual partners a memorable and/or pleasurable sexual experience.

In other words, just because you’ve had a lot of sexual partners doesn’t necessarily mean you know how to please them all properly.

Knowing how to make love to someone in a way that garners a great amount of pleasure out of the experience is a lot different than simply penetrating someone for sexual gratification or gaining another notch on the bedpost without really knowing what makes that person tick sexually.

The assumption that someone who has had frequent one-night stands or who has had a high number of sexual partners in a relatively short amount of time is more sexually skilled than someone who hasn’t is misguided at best.

There are a lot of things you could participate in quite often but not be very good at. I think that sex can definitely be one of those things.

Lots of notches on the bedpost don’t necessarily equal a formidable lover or even guarantee a satisfying experience. Sensational sex should generally involve a lover who wants to learn new things about their sexual partner so they can pleasure them accordingly — and vice versa.

There’s often more experience to be gained from being with the same partner who you know very well and trust rather than being with a lot of different partners who you don’t know very well.

In addition, if you have a vast number of sexual partners with whom you don’t spend much quality time, they may never tell you what you might be doing wrong in bed or what you could potentially improve on in the bedroom.

Sexual experience isn’t just about the sex itself. It’s about how you engage, interact, and learn from your sexual contact with other human beings.

There’s no shame in being promiscuous — however, there’s a huge difference between sexual promiscuity and sexual expertise.

There’s something to be said for slowing down sometimes — especially with sex.

What do YOU think? Let me know in the comments ;)

You can show your love for my writing by leaving me a tip of your choosing at my PayPal, or by contributing on my Ko-fi page! Thank you!

Want more juicy reads from me? Keep scrolling…

Oh, by the way, I also have a podcast about being a stepmom. Check it out if you’re interested.