Love/Relationships

Do You Have A ‘What-If’ Person?

Keeping all the relationship eggs in one basket isn’t for everyone.

Oh, to have loved and lost. It can sometimes be a struggle not to pine for long-lost loves who could have worked out for so many reasons but ultimately didn’t — whether it was due to life circumstances, personal choices, or other things that got in the way.

Thankfully, a great majority of us usually find a way to move on in one way or another and are able to create and maintain new romantic relationships.

However, some people hang on to what I refer to as a ‘what-if’ person. A what-if person is like a Plan B — in the form of a human being.

It’s someone to fall back on if things don’t work out with a current partner. It’s usually someone who would be willing to drop everything and jump into a relationship with the individual they’re being a what-if person for.

It could be someone who was friend-zoned but has the potential to be more than that if circumstances change and who has essentially been placed into a what-if person holding pattern.

Lots of people don’t feel comfortable putting all of their relationship eggs into one basket, so to speak.

Imagine if things didn’t work out with a current partner for some reason. Would you immediately have another partner in mind whom you could fall back on and who would be willing to embrace you just like that?

Is having a what-if person wrong? Is it a betrayal to your current partner? Or is it simply a mechanism of human nature designed for self-preservation purposes?

I don’t have a what-if person. But some people do. It could be someone who’s been pining away for them for quite some time. Someone who wouldn’t mind being the default relationship safety net at all.

When I sit quietly with myself and think about my marriage hypothetically ending — there’s not another person whom I could imagine myself falling back on.

I’d rather be alone if my current marriage ended, quite frankly.

However, there are people out there who have difficulty being alone in between relationships and many of those people probably have a what-if person quietly stationed in their back pocket — whether they realize it or not.

For those who do have one or even more than one what-if person in their mind’s eye — it may not be so much as an intentional slight to their current partner as it is just a fear of ending up alone.

Humans can be ridiculously complex, needy, and confusing, especially in the realm of love and relationships.

Though many people don’t want to admit it, they might just have a what-if person in their repertoire.

As for me, as much as I’ve tried, I can’t locate a single what-if person in my mind who would be suitable.

What about you? Do you have a ‘what-if’ person whom you would immediately contact if your current relationship ended? Do tell.

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