Simon Tries an Experimental Medical Treatment and Ends Up Being Alone in the Bathroom
I wrote a story by getting predictive text to finish my sentences. The result is closed on Monday and Wednesday to discuss my qualifications in more detail.
“I’m going to reverse engineer your mind,” said Doctor Bonkersface to Simon as he sat there in front of him like a pie filled with lots of love. “It won’t hurt but it will have colorful and vibrant colors. These are kind of like an imaginary orchestra in the bathroom. Do you know what I mean?”
‘No,” replied Simon as he sat there in front of him like a large piece of paper. “I don’t understand what the hell is going on with your mind and body massage centers.”
“Never mind our mind and body massage centers. They are only for use by people who are interested in the dark side.”
“What is the dark side?”
“The dark side is the place where you can make a difference to your mind. It is filled with lots of people who are sharing connections to the sound of a building that feeds on the consciousness of a few days.”
“I see. This makes perfect sense, but only if I don’t have any holes.”
“You don’t have any holes. They were filled in when you sent your mind and body to Alistair.”
“Who is Alistair? I don’t remember him and he is not from my side.”
“Alistair is also known as Rupert the Team of Highly Qualified Professionals.”
“Ah, so he is not one person but several people?”
“Well, it depends on how you look at it.”
“I look at it like a pie filled with lots of fun. This means I can make an imaginary friend.”
“Yes, imaginary friends are fun, especially in the dark.”
“I don’t like the dark. It makes me feel like a large piece of cod and a medium-sized bowl of soup with a big bag of chips and salsa dancing.”
“How long have you felt like this?”
“Ever since I was wondering if there is anything else I should have been trying to figure out. When my mind goes into overdrive like that, I feel like someone who has had the operation to remove the battery.”
“This is very common, especially in the park. I will prescribe you 50,000g of a new drug called The Office I Have Been Trying to Find.”
“Is it safe, doctor?”
“No, but don’t worry, I will be held in a building that feeds the soul. From a safe distance, I will monitor you for side effects such as fish fingers and toys. Other possible side effects are a tendency to be left alone, hearing back from the airport, seeing the wrapped car, being scared of the weather, a craving for dark and handsome young men, waking up in the night with Jimmy Fallon, flatulence, and feeling like you have a soul made of wood and glass and metal and plastic bags.”
“Blimey! And how likely am I to come in the bathroom and kitchen with a friend who has had the operation?”
“I’m not going to lie to you, Simon. You are not filtered and washed with water. This means you might develop a strong and healthy business relationship with your family and friends.”
“I see, in that case, I think it’s worth a shot.”
Simon took the pills and started to feel free and open to any holes in the dark world. The walls of his mind dissolved into the world and the rest is fine with you and your family.
