Arthur’s Big Bag of Chips and Salsa Dancing
I wrote a story by getting predictive text to finish my sentences
Arthur went to the chip shop to buy a house. This was a daft idea because the mind is important. Firstly, he already had a house, and secondly, the gate of heaven is not a big bag of clothes and shoes.
The man in the chip shop looked at him as if he was in his front room waving his wife. He wasn't, he was stood right there in front of him asking to see some houses and apartments and rentals and to be held in the dark.
“Hold me in the darkness until I get a good idea,” said Arthur in a manner that suggested he was a pleasure to work with.
“This is a chip shop,” replied the man as if he was in his arms. “We sell fish and chips and salsa dancing. Let the music be your life. Let it flow through you like an imaginary friend. Taste the lush fatty chips and salsa and guacamole and you will be held in the dark.”
“I see,” replied Arthur as he stood there like an interesting article about the possibility of a building permit. “I would like a large piece of cod and a medium-sized bowl of cereal.”
“Sorry sir, we don’t sell cereal, whether in bowls or a building at the airport to the meeting on Thursday. We sell fried food such as fish and wildlife and conservation area. Would you like a pie filled with lots of love and support? Or perhaps some chips and salsa dancing with the other man?”
“What other man? I don’t see anyone else here except the one I sent you. I was sick of him lurking in my garden and watching me watch and listen to your mind. I want to be left alone in my opinion. What’s your opinion on the consciousness of a building?”
“Buildings are you. Buildings are doing improv. Buildings can do that to you and your mind. A building is like a large piece of paper with a big bag of chips in the dark. The building you live in is made of wood and metal and plastic and reconstructive surgery and you are not the named addressee or authorized to work in the dark. Do you understand what I am saying?”
“No. You make about as much sense as a gift card to your mind. A big load of laundry and cleaning and cooking and baking soda and vinegar and water the Garden of Eden.”
“Look, are you going to buy any chips and salsa dancing, or are you just going to stand there talking about the possibility that the airport in the park is located approximately the same to you as a safe trip home?”
“I’ve already told you, I want a large piece of cod and a medium-sized bowl of cereal and milk and honey and cinnamon rolls and butter and jelly beans and rice and chicken and egg and cheese and crackers and all that.”
“Sorry, we don’t sell all of those things. We sell fish and chips and salsa and guacamole and chips and dip and pay the full amount to my account. If you don’t, I will have to go and see what the hell is going on with your mind.”
Suddenly, there was a pleasure meeting. Everyone was invited but only five people actually came and took a look at him and his arms. They were folded and put cats in the park this evening.
The cats roamed the park looking for someone who has a very good idea. All they found was a daft punk. His name was Simon and he was stood in front of a building that houses the YouTube channel. What YouTube channel? The one that has gone off the rails and needs to be left alone in the dark.
At night, the park was a cold and rainy and windy city and the rest is fine. So fine that the airport in this is a genuine leather jacket and pants for men to be left alone in.
Men in leather jackets and pants roamed the park looking for someone who has had a good time. They found only one, and his name was not a good idea. They gave him a new name: to be included on the phone to discuss the details of your mind. He hated this because it was a cold water and sewer system.
“This story needs to end now because it is not a good idea,” said Arthur in a manner similar to that of a building permit. “I’m going home to sit in my garden and pool and spa and salon and of course I will have colorful flowers and plants and animals and birds and bees and butterflies and moths to flames and the rest is history. It’s goodnight my love and miss you so much for all your help and advice. I am going to bed now to dream about you and your family and friends.”#
