Navigating the spiritual journey
5 Signs You are Spiritually Bypassing and How to Avoid Doing it
We mustn't neglect the physical, mental, and emotional bodies because we are spiritual
What is Spiritual Bypassing?
Spiritual bypassing is when we use spirituality and spiritual practices to avoid facing and dealing with unresolved emotional pain. It is using language and practices to avoid doing the healing work — the work that is sometimes very uncomfortable and painful.
It’s rejecting, not accepting, and not wanting to see the things we need to heal and work on. It’s hard to notice when we are bypassing. Here’s an example of spiritual bypassing:
When you go to a yoga class or a spiritual circle and the host says “no negative vibes, no bad moods, only happy and positive vibes here, all positive moods, unity, love, and light, etc.
But when we are spiritual, aren’t we supposed to awaken to the negative, the pain and trauma we have to heal?
Spiritual bypassing is a very tempting path until we figure out it’s not working very well.
Spiritual Bypassing is a Form of Dissociating From the Self
From an energy perspective, spiritual bypassing is fragmentation or dissociation that occurs inside because whenever we are unwilling to see a part of us, we fragment inside.
When this happens, we almost become like two separate people. There’s a part of us we’re conscious of and another part of us we have no idea of.
Every time we bypass, we feed the shadow. The shadow is the parts of us we don’t see, accept, and acknowledge. When we bypass, we put aside a piece of us and we feed it to the shadow.
The shadow then becomes bigger and bigger — and the heavier it becomes, the less we can ascend energetically because we are weighed down.
The light in you wants to ascend while the shadow brings you down.
Spiritual Bypassing Doesn’t Work for Our Highest Good
Picture this: When a sailor throws an anchor into the water and it attaches itself to the bottom of the ocean, that boat isn’t going anywhere. He can start the engine and do whatever he wants, but the boat remains where it is.
He either breaks the engine trying to move it or he breaks the boat when he pulls against the anchor that is weighted down at the bottom of the ocean.
The only way for the boat to move is when he removes the anchor from the bottom of the ocean.
We are the sailor. The boat is the physical body, the engine is our minds and the shadow is the anchor.
You can’t move the boat when it's anchored down. Spiritual bypassing doesn’t work. Our shadows act as anchors weighing us down and preventing us from going where we need to go.
Spiritual Bypassing Is a Faulty Defense Mechanism
We all do it one way or another. When we feel dense energy, we burn sage to clear it for us instead of learning to clear our energies for the times we are out of sage.
When we awaken and we are still in the beginning stages where we are feeling lost and disoriented — instead of seeking help — we bypass because everybody is doing it and it's all we know how to do.
It is the brain’s poor attempt at protecting us from pain. We bypass when we believe we don’t have the ability or face issues. We do it when we believe some emotions are bad and inferior.
We focus on the positive things while we ignore the negative but there are no good or bad emotions, only e. motions (energy in motion) that should be allowed to flow through us into the earth to be transmuted.
Energy cannot be destroyed. Like alchemy, it must be transmuted.
Signs of Spiritual Bypassing
1. Polarizing into the light
This is a way of saying false positivity — a common sign of spiritual bypassing. That’s when we cling to love and light, rainbows and unicorns, and no bad vibes. We polarize into the light and we completely ignore everything we think is dark, bad, and negative. When we do this, we leave a huge part of ourselves behind.
We aren't just light or dark. We are light with some darker aspects that want to see the light.
2. Using sensitivity as an excuse
As empaths or highly sensitive people (HSP), we use our sensitivities as an excuse to not face the things we need to face because they’re uncomfortable. Dealing with pain and trauma is difficult for an empath. When this happens, the ego at the sight of pain says “Oh no, this energy is too harsh and I’m not dealing with it”. We tell ourselves we can’t face them because we are just too sensitive and we feel too much. But that's not true. We can face them because we are strong and when we are weak there’s help available to us.
Being an empath is not the same as fragility. Sensitive and fragile aren’t synonyms.
3. Diminishing your humanness
When we believe that certain emotions and experiences are acceptable while others are not, we diminish our humanness. We believe certain experiences are inferior while others are superior. The moment we say anger, fear, and guilt are inferior, we diminish your humanness because negative emotions like anger, regret, shame are all human qualities and serve a purpose as much as positive emotions like joy, love, compassion, and gratitude does.
All emotions are part of what makes us human.
4. Projecting triggers
Projecting our triggers is when something triggers us and we immediately point fingers instead of addressing the wound within us. We project our triggers the moment we point fingers and say this person triggered me because they are not “woke” or spiritual. When we do this, we fail to work on the trigger and when we don’t work on the trigger, the problem remains in us and not the person who triggered us . When we ignore the wound and we focus on the trigger, we are spiritually bypassing.
You are not triggered until something needs healing. Triggers point you to the wounds that need your attention.
5. Wearing masks
This is especially common on social media, where everybody pretends their life is all rainbows and sunshine. It happens when the image we present to the outside world differs from what’s going on within. When we’re totally falling apart on the inside but we take a dope selfie smiling and we make a wonderful post on social media pulling into love and light without addressing the real issue, we are spiritually bypassing.
When you wear masks to mask the pain, you delay your healing and integrating your shadow.
How to Avoid Spiritual Bypassing
1. Do shadow work
When you bypass, you feed the shadow and you make it bigger. Every time you bypass, you push away parts of you into the shadow and the unconscious. The bigger you make the shadow, the more stuff you have to heal, the denser your energy, and the more you anchor and hold yourself down.
Shadow work is crucial. Make friends with the shadow. Shine a light onto the dark or bring it into the light.
2. Reset your beliefs
Reset your belief that you are too sensitive and can’t face difficult emotions. Reset your belief that some emotions are better or superior to others. When you have these beliefs, you will keep bypassing over and over again. You can face anything because you’ve done it before.
3. Come into your power
This is extremely important for empaths. If sensitives don’t come into their power, they will constantly feel like victims of a harsh world and they will isolate themselves their entire lives. We have to come into our power because we are eternal souls and we can face anything life throws at us.
Know your power and step into it to become aware of who you truly are.
4. Embrace your humanity
Accepting your humanity is crucial because there’s no such thing as good or bad emotions. All emotions are human emotions. Accept your humanity and everything that comes with it.
5. Work with triggers
Triggers are our best friends. When we get good at working with triggers, we don’t bypass them. We can’t force the outside world to no longer trigger us. That will never happen. When we are triggered, we must understand we have wounds within us that need to be healed. You are not triggered until something needs healing. Triggers point you to wounds that need your attention.
Final Thoughts
Spiritual bypassing is a common thing, and most of us have done it because we weren’t aware of it. But the journey is all about destruction and integration.
Facing our fears and ultimately integrating the shadow is part of the journey. Dealing with our pain and our traumas is the only way we can see things clearly and live a spiritually fulfilling life.
Sometimes all we need is someone to help us see our weaknesses so we can stand strong in our divinity.