avatarAnnelise Lords

Summary

An elderly couple reflects on their marriage, where the husband's excessive sexual pursuits contrast with the wife's focus on health and moderation, leading to a reevaluation of their relationship in light of the husband's declining health.

Abstract

The narrative unfolds in a mall where an elderly couple contemplates the impact of the husband's past sexual indulgences on their present-day marriage. The wife, who has maintained a healthy lifestyle, contrasts sharply with the husband, whose health has deteriorated due to his excessive sexual habits. As they converse, the husband grapples with regret and the realization that his actions have consequences beyond the immediate pleasure. The wife, while acknowledging the challenges in their marriage, emphasizes the importance of self-care and the broader aspects of life beyond sexual gratification. The story serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of hedonism and the importance of a balanced life, suggesting that technology may offer solutions for sexual health but cannot replace the foundational values of a relationship.

Opinions

  • The wife believes in the importance of healthy living and setting a good example, rather than imposing her beliefs on her husband.
  • The husband reflects on his past with frustration and regret, recognizing that his actions have led to his current health issues and marital discord.
  • The wife sees her husband's potential for change and encourages him to rediscover his identity and values.
  • The husband blames his mother for his sexual addiction, suggesting a belief in the influence of upbringing on personal behavior.
  • The wife disagrees with the notion of shared blame, asserting her role as a partner, not a parent, and thus not responsible for her husband's choices.
  • The husband contemplates the role of sex in life, questioning its importance and whether life is worth living without it.
  • The wife emphasizes that their marriage is based on more than just sex, implying a deeper connection and broader shared experiences.
  • The narrative implies a critique of society's fixation on sex, highlighting how it can lead to the downfall of individuals and relationships.
  • The wife suggests that moderation is key to a fulfilling life, and that sex should not overshadow other aspects of well-being.
  • The husband briefly entertains the idea of death as an escape from his regrets and current lack of sexual fulfillment, though this is presented as a desperate and unhealthy response.
  • The author reflects on the destructive potential of sex, noting how it has ruined lives and relationships, and uses historical examples to illustrate this point.
  • The author advocates for learning from past mistakes, as evidenced by the resources and readings suggested at the end of the article, which aim to educate readers on healthier life choices.

Sex Like Water — Eight Glasses Per Day

She stared at him for a while, then said, “Years ago, you lived as if sex was water, and you need eight glasses per day.”

Image by Annelise Lords

After hopping from store to store in the mall, my feet demanded a break. I plopped down on one of many comfortable seats facing several stores. A youthful-looking elderly female and an elderly male sat nearby. Resting their bags on the empty seat opposite me.

“Why the sad look?” The female asked.

“Everywhere we go, guys young or old are staring at you as if you were a delicious piece of meat fresh off the grill and on their plate?” The male complained.

“Well,” she said, reaching over to caress the knuckles of his right hand, on a small space between them on the bench. “I introduced healthy living to you more than thirty years ago. You had no use for it, but I did.”

“So that’s what they see when they look at you?” Frustration stirs inside him.

“They see a confident older female who has been taking care of herself for many years. They see a female who thinks about her health and life.”

“And what do they see when they look at me?”

Nodding, she said, “You have the power to show anything you want them to see.”

“What about you? What do you see?” he questions. He stared at her, pain washing his eyes.

“Well,” she said, sending her memory into places, instances, situations, and circumstances she knew would be painful for him, then answered without prejudice, “I see a guy who should and can change.”

A smile tries to surface, but fear and regret prevent it from showing. Regrets blamed, “Why didn’t you try harder to stop some of the stupid and dangerous things I did that was ruining our marriage.”

“I am your wife, not your mother. I did my best by setting good examples praying you would follow me after seeing the results of my life and health. And feeling the pain of yours,” she defends.

“It was there, but ego and indiscipline blinded me,” he confessed.

Nodding in agreement, she elaborates, “Some of us live our lives for the moment. Others live a healthier life because they are aware that the moments are temporary. They know better health will increase the moments that will allow them to live longer. Then they give more to humanity while enjoying many happy moments.”

Sighs released regrets, as he stared at her in painful truth, for a life enjoyed that was dangerously unhealthy, “Does that mean I will lose you to better health?”

She stared at him for a while, then shoved him into the past, “Years ago, you lived and acted as if sex was water, and you needed eight glasses per day. The opposite for me. You did everything you could to convince me that I need eight glasses per day too. That created lots of conflicts within our marriage. I allowed you to be you and enjoyed the life you wanted for yourself. Now you can’t consume two glasses per month.”

Memories galloped into his heart, but not without pain.

“Aren’t you glad I didn’t believe or followed you?”

“Sex is a friend to the young, but an enemy to the old,” he said regretfully.

“Not with what technology has to share that can improve sex drives,” she informs.

“With all of my health issues, my doctors think most are too dangerous for me to take,” regrets unleashed mixed in with sadness.

“I still allow you to be you,” she reminds him. “And you enjoyed your life and self any and every way you wanted to. With all of the females you wanted to.”

Grabbing a quick breath to suppress the pain of reality, he asks, “What will become of us now? I am of no sexual value to you.”

“Our marriage,” she pauses. “My marriage was more than sex. Yours wasn’t,” she said eyeing him.

“What do I do now?”

“I am still me,” she reminds him.

“I am some of what I was,” sadness poured from his heart.

“Then try and find your way back to who you want to be,” she encourages.

“Will you be there waiting for me?”

“Your sex addiction didn’t harm me,” she reminds him. “I am in good health.”

“You stayed married to me for more than thirty years and watched me destroy myself sexually,” he cast more blame.

“Blame is lighter when shared,” she said glancing at him, as her anger flared on the tip of her tongue. “And like I said before, I am not your mother.”

He nods, “Then it’s her fault.”

She smiled, “That’s the part I don’t get. Males love sex. Many of them don’t take good care of themselves so they can still enjoy watering females' gardens no matter their age?”

“So you are saying that if I had taken better care of myself sexually, I could still water your garden at any age?”

‘You take nothing in your life with moderation,” she reminds him. “Moderation is the key.”

“Maybe death is the answer for me,” he suggested.

“So, if you can’t have sex anymore, you don’t think you should continue living?”

“What else is there to live for?”

I often wondered, what is it about sex that causes humans to destroy the good life they have, their bodies, minds, and souls, for a moment of pleasure?

I pray I never find out.

Sex has destroyed lives and relationships because someone wants more than the other and will do anything to get it.

Nothing will fall a man like sex.

I warned my sons about that, showing them ways in which sex destroyed many lives.

Thank God history hides nothing. Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein are a few prominent men who allowed sex to fall them.

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoy it and will savor more from some talented writers on this platform, whose links are below.

Savor more from ✅ Doc Samurai Sam

Feast on more from Mark Sanford, Ph.D.

Taste more from Dr Mehmet Yildiz

Illumination
Sex
Water
Life
Death
Recommended from ReadMedium