✅Life Lessons: The Art of Vengeance and the Traumatic Triangle
✅Motivational Mind Movies: Breathe Out, Let It Go!
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Sometimes my family moved three times in one year, and I mean we moved to different states. It was terrible, one day, I am being beaten up by one set of bullies in one school, the next week a new set of demon bullies in another school, and a month later with a fresh set of misfit bullies in another school. However, after moving so many times, I learned to fight, and no one could touch me. I beat them up always. You learn to stand up for yourself by fighting back. I did. I learned psychological warfare.
The real bully was my father, for he was a kyokushin karate master who taught me. When we lived in Japan, he learned from the legendary Mas Oyama, the most feared and respected Korean in Japan. Keep in mind. Japanese hate Koreans and beat them up. I feared my father’s power. He abused me, and I have written about him a lot. I could take personal pain. We had just moved to another state, Arizona, and we were unpacking. Moving is one of the most stressful events to endure. All of the sudden, he called my mother a name. He never did that, so my North Korean mother was shocked, and her face was angry as she was about to kill him. Instead, I stood up and calmly walked to my father. She froze, and he froze. I had never done that.
His eyes were red, and he was about to hit me. Instead, he walked out and left. I was about to kill him.
Often my mother worked the graveyard shift since we were poor and was out during the night. My father would be sleeping. Almost every night, I went to the kitchen to grab the biggest butcher knife, and I would quietly walk into my father’s room. I could tell he was asleep, for he was snoring. I would stand above him and imaging blood pouring out as my vampiric spirit would then suck his blood. However, my real self always held back my Hulu Jing self (Asian fox spirit), nightly.
Finally, one night he woke up, and pretended to not see me. I walked to the door and stood there a very long time. My father was awake and shaking. I enjoyed the power of being a vampire. We lived in a traumatic triangle of tension between my mother, my father and myself. My sister suffered the most abused, but that is another tale. I pray for her nightly.
✅Thank you! This is why I am the foremost Asian vampire expert in the world.
I learned that the reason we moved so much was to confuse me, for my father feared I would kill him. He threatened to kill me and the family if I ever told of his evil. He constantly beat me senseless as a kid. I believed him. I never knew he feared me. My sister later told me this. We must stop this. I know many children live in similar forms of hell.
Some of my essays have even been translated into Chinese. Forgive me if I wrote on this before, for my chemo mind has affected my memory. This essay was hell to write as I relearn to write, think and function in English. I think in Korean, my native tongue. I read in Spanish.
Love your father. Even though I hate my father. I do love him now. Hate is a trap, one of the mind poisons as I learned from Buddhism. We mix tragedy with happiness. I never hurt my father. Revenge does not work. Forgive. Love your mother. Love your family. All my family members died of cancer though I survived cancer twice. I miss my mother the most.
This is dedicated to the Queen of the Lords. Read her article she wrote below. She is my good friend here, and we support each other. We are each other, and we need each other. I am you!