Sensual Play: How to Erotically Heighten Your Sensations

5 suggestions to enjoy the pleasures of sensual play

Sex is sensorial — during sex, all your senses are active, they absorb sensations. Because sex is also about by teasing and testing your limits, you can take your pleasure to another level and experiment with new (extreme) sensations.

What is sensual play

When we talk of sensual play, we refer to the enhancement of the senses, through specific activities — involving or not complements, like sex toys.

Sensual play can either be vanilla (using light stimulations with no infliction of pain) or kinky, where pain is part of the play. While in vanilla sensual play, you trigger lighter sensations using on your partner, for example, a feather; in kink play, you will use a whip or a spanking.

In this article, I will explore the kink side of the sensual play, suggesting five painful-pleasurable ways to experience it. It’s important to highlight that pain is obviously subjective: each one of us has different thresholds, and whatever is yours, it’s absolutely fine. Personally, I’m still experimenting with my pain boundaries; I’m pushing myself a bit further and further — it’s fun, and I trust entirely in Mr. P., he always stops or slows down at the slightest signal of my discomfort.

If you want to try kink sex, always do it with someone you completely trust. There is one thing that can never be neglected or undermined: consent. In sex, especially kink sex, clear communication is fundamental; your lover has to know your limits. You must discuss beforehand what you accept and what will be a definitive no. Also, check-in during sex: you might discover that you don’t like or can’t handle something you previously said yes to. If that happens, say NO (or a safe word if you agreed in one.) When a sensation becomes too intense, or the pain is more than I can handle, I let Mr. P. know; he always stops and asks me if I’m ok, if I didn’t like what he did. Often my answer is “I don’t know” — because I honestly don’t know! Sensual play pain can be incredibly erotic, so sometimes it’s hard to decide if I want him to continue or to go for a full stop. Usually, Mr. P. tries something different and later comes back to it so I can make up my mind (always asking my permission first.) Communication is important, but in kink sex is essential - consent is mandatory, and boundaries must be respected.

Sensual play: how to erotically heighten your sensations

In the sensual play, you can explore your lover’s body in different sensorial ways; either using only your body or complementing it sex toys. You can play with extreme sensations — like cold and hot temperatures— or inflict consented controlled pain.

Sensual play is highly erotic, and it’s a powerful way to deepen the connection between lovers. In the sensual play, you must completely trust each other, you must know each other’s body language (never neglecting verbal communication). You will also deepen your self-awareness and learn about your limits, your triggers and desires. When I first started with sensual playing, I never thought I would go so far as I did (and knowing that I will go even further). I consider to have a low level of tolerance for pain; however, I discovered an extreme erotic pleasure in being whipped and spanked to the point of Mr. P. handprints stay in my ass for days.

Your pleasure is your own: build it to your measure. Be adventurous! But never cross a limit for no one else than you. Sensual play will offer you a new range of sensations. Here are five suggestions for you to enjoy in full the pleasures of sensual play:

5 Sensual play suggestions

Temperature Play

Temperature play is about exploring the cold and hot sensation. You can play in a soft version, like running an ice cube down your lover’s body; or add (a bit of) pain to the game using a low-temperature candle.

In temperature play, you can go as far as your imagination and pleasure take you: explore only with hot or cold or alternate between both; experiment light or take it a bit further.

For hot sensations play, use a low-temperature candle (never the regular ones) and drip melted wax on your lover’s body. If you never used it before, be sure to do some research first. Candles in sensory play are either a gentle painful sensation or a burning one - it depends how far away from the body you pour the wax, and what type of candle you’re using (there are different types of sensory play candles, with hotter and smoother temperatures.)

For cold sensations, besides playing with cubes of ice, or iced water (put it in your mouth and go down on your lover), use toys and tools that were previously frozen. If you have a Wartenberg wheel, put it in the freezer for a while and run it through your lover’s body. It’s a mix of two incredible sensations!

Glass and metal sex toys are also great for temperature play, especially if you enhance their temperature — either for cold or hot.

Impact play

In impact play, you strike your lover using different techniques and resources. The impact should be made in fleshier parts of the body (like buttocks, thighs and calves), always avoiding the major organs. For instance, when flogging the back, stay away from the kidney’s area.

Impact play is intense, and depending on the force you use (again: always with consent!), it heightens your sensations to the limits. You are increasing the blood flow on the area you impacted; the skin will become more sensitive to touch. This kind of play is probable to leave marks, depending on how easily you bruise and how much strength was used.

Depending on how hard your lover played, the sensations can be temporary or long-lasting. I’m writing this piece with a stinging ass from last night’s spanking and flogging.

Impact play can be made with an infinite choice of toys (or domestic utensils). You can use flogs, different types of whips, paddles, canes, crops…

Prickly Pain

Prickly sensations arise from nerves; in the sensual play, they are triggered by utensils, namely the Wartenberg wheel (commonly known as pinwheel), that was designed as a medical device to test nerve response.

Running a pinwheel over your lover’s flesh is a unique sensation. Mr. P. and I use both the single and the three-wheel ones, but I’m still finding my place with this sex toy. I’m not a big fan of the single one-wheel; it’s a puncturing sensation. Even in a light way, the prickly sensation is intriguing for me. It’s one of those situations that I keep coming to it until I decide if it’s a keeper.

Mr. P. loves both the triple and single-wheel, and his pleasurable reactions are food for my kinky mind, so we always have them close. Sometimes I sit on top of him, him facing me (for him to watch me doing it), and I use the single-wheel on him and simultaneously the triple one on me. It’s a way to give pleasure to both of us and explore the pinwheel in me, to find out in which parts of my body and with how much pressure is pleasurable for me.

Stimulants

When talking about stimulants, we refer, for example, to nipple clamps (that can also be used in other places, like the labia), vibrators, butt plugs, suction cups, enhancing gels and other resources.

You can use them on its own or as a complement. For example, use nipple clamps not only during nipple play but also while your lover is prickling your skin or spanking your ass. Or use a butt plug while receiving oral sex (or giving it, or both.)

Sensory deprivation

When you deprive a sense, you will be heightening the others. Some ways to play with sensory deprivation is to blindfold or, in more extreme play, mummification (completely wrap of the body — apart from breathing spaces -, covering eyes and ears).

One of my favourite sensual play is to be deprived of my sight and movement (being handcuffed to the bed) and engage in impact play. The sensation of not knowing which instrument Mr. P. is going to use on me, in which part of my body he will flog or whip me; if he’s going to use the pinwheel or the feather; to lick me or to kiss me is breathtaking. I never know if a bite or a touching or the whip is coming, when they’re coming and where. And when it happens, I can’t move, I can’t react, I’m merely a receiver of pleasure. It’s so fucking exciting!

Aftercare

Aftercare is a must after kink sex (for me in any version of sex, but more after experimenting whatever level of pain.) After sex, check with your partner how they are and what they need. It might be a glass of water, a cuddle, to talk, or an oil massage in the impacted areas.

Aftercare is personalized, and it will vary. I always need to stay skin-to-skin with Mr. P. in a relaxing way. Sometimes I talk about what I liked more or what I’d like to experiment in a softer/rougher version. Other times I just want to snuggle with him and fall asleep.

Through sensual play, your body will feel powerful sensations, maybe as nothing you experienced before. You will be alert, using all your senses.

You will take your body and mind to levels that you never thought it was possible. You will feel deeply and intensely.

With your partner(s), together, you’ll explore thresholds sensations and a widely diverse world of pleasure.

In the sensual play, you will share a unique experience.

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