Self Growth

Summary

The web content discusses personal growth as an introspective and gradual process, emphasizing self-awareness, gentleness, forgiveness, and humility as key components, and acknowledges the slow but noticeable progress in one's journey of self-improvement.

Abstract

The article delves into the intangible nature of personal growth, suggesting that it is more about awareness and internal transformation than quantifiable measures. It highlights the importance of recognizing changes in one's behavior and thoughts, such as speaking and acting with pride rather than embarrassment. The author advocates for a gentle approach to self-improvement, likening it to nurturing a rare flower, and stresses the necessity of self-forgiveness, drawing a parallel to forgiving a baby for an accident. The piece also touches on the author's past hardships and resistance to professional counseling, while emphasizing the role of humility in personal development. The author expresses contentment with even small signs of progress and commits to sharing the benefits of their growth with their family.

Opinions

Personal growth is recognized through moments of self-awareness and changes in behavior and speech.
Self-improvement should be approached with gentleness and self-compassion, akin to caring for a delicate flower.
Forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, is crucial for personal growth and is comparable to the unconditional forgiveness one would give to a child.
The author believes that progress in self-growth can be slow, but any noticeable development is a cause for satisfaction.
Despite having endured significant challenges, the author has not sought professional counseling but values the insights gained from personal experiences and reading.
Humility is seen as an essential virtue in the process of self-improvement, alongside kindness.
The author uses humor to convey their determination and enthusiasm for self-growth, borrowing phrases from sales training.
The article concludes with the author's commitment to continued growth and the positive impact they aim to have on their family.

Monday: How do you measure personal growth? How do you know when you’ve grown as a person?

I’m not sure one can measure personal growth. I think you work toward it and at some point it hits you. There’s awareness. You realize your mouth said words no longer belonging to the pattern you hated. You notice your body didn’t make movements that embarrassed you, but rather acted in a way to make you proud.

I treasure my glints of awareness and I try to enhance them within, so that my actions follow suit. I know that I am far from even far away, but I have always been a hard worker and this time I am willing to put in the work for myself. So my enthusiasm is high, my determination doubled, I’m not taking no for an answer — I’m joking of course, these are quotes from management in sales trainings.

I’ve discovered that the work for the self and with the self must be gentle, as if you’re dealing with a rare flower — floarea de colt (Romania’s unique mountain flower) in my case. Each time I chastise myself for something I thought, said or done, something already deemed as “fixed”, I suffer. I retreat into a mire of negative thoughts, sticky, engulfing. And then I have to get out. To coax myself out, soothingly, reminding myself that I’ve done it before, I know the way out, I can do it.

And then there’s forgiveness. It must come from myself to myself over and over again. As if you’re dealing with your baby whom you don’t blame for her vomiting on your best work clothes just when you were about to leave the house (or be on a Zoom call — how times have changed).

I know I’ve grown when I manage to keep nagging words inside (clenched teeth or not, hey you fake it till you make it), angry tones muffled into a tender soothing voice, violent behaviors in my head, turned into conceptual battles. The progress is extremely slow, sometimes infinitesimal, but as long as I notice and I’m part of it I’m content.

I should have started with saying that I’ve been though an awful lot; more than most go through in a lifetime or a few happened to me until I reached thirty. I’ve been broken so many times in so many ways. I’ve also never sought professional counseling and I doubt I ever will — unless someone who read more books than I did is willing to work with me for free (highly doubtful :) — talking about the latter, I’m not being smug.)

Humility is another part of the process — always stay humble and kind (Tim McGraw). And I seek it and I embrace it, which is also very hard. But each time it happens, if I notice, that’s growth, and I move on with a tiny smile of satisfaction to myself and big hugs or other gratifying gestures to my family. After all, they too should be the beneficiaries of my growth.

Thank you so much for reading.

Below are poems I wrote when glimpses of growth struck me one way or another.

Self Growth

Monday: How do you measure personal growth? How do you know when you’ve grown as a person?

mountain

I blinked and

We’re rivers

The River’s mother

I’m tired of chewing gum

My jaws clench