HELP ME EDITOR FAIRY

Self-Editing Tips for Grammarphobes

Let’s make confusing words clear again

You say tomayto, I say tomahto

Some words are pronounced the same as words with different meanings. Some of them share spelling. Look up homophones and homonyms⁴² — if you insist.

Have podcasting and audiobooks shouldered print aside? I think confusion is more common now because we learn words from listening rather than reading.

Hope detailing my peevish concerns will help. 👀 Please BOLO for problematic words when self-editing. 💖 Thanks in advance from your editor.

Awe vs. aw or aww

Unless you’re totally in awe of something spectacular, like that cute human’s butt, axe or ax the “e” and use aww or aw. “Aww, cute kilt/skirt. You look awesome!” Maybe better not say that out loud.

Bare vs. bear

Though most 🐻 bears don’t wear clothing, bear in mind that “bare” involves nakedness or minimalism. You might both “grin and bare it” and “grin and bear it” as a nudist or during a doctor visit but otherwise, not so much.

🍽️ Barely vs. barley

Barley is barely edible. Editor Fairy once noted a writer’s “barley” humor. Inadvertent, in a serious story, unfortunately.

Flaunt vs. flout

Neener neener neener! Oh wait, that’s taunting. Flaunting is showing off your bare butt. Flouting is breaking grammar rules on purpose.

Lead vs. lead or led

Depends on context. Gather your imagination, plus a horse and a pencil. Editor Fairy has neck reined several horsey writers away from “lead” to “led.”

First, are you pronouncing L-E-A-D like “feed” or like “fed”? And is your desired word a verb — action! or a noun — thing!?⁴²

🐎 Your horse drinks water — verb

• If “feed” — use lead, L-E-A-D. You’ll lead the horse to water today or when gas reaches $5 per gallon — OR —
• If “fed” — use led, L-E-D. You led the horse to water yesterday or when Carter was in office

✏️ You love pencils or live in Flint, Michigan — noun

• That’s “fed” — use lead, L-E-A-D, in rants about poisonous tap water or odes to your writing tool

Less vs. fewer

Less is misused for countable things, such as grammatical errors or radio commercials. My opinion? “10 items or less” is OK in the express checkout or your sarcastic voice. Your serious writer voice says “10 items or fewer” unless you like arguing with editors.

My go-to mnemonic is “fewer in number; less in amount.”⁴³ Fewer horses, less lead. Fewer scary bears, less prejudice against bare female breasts in public.

Phase (with a PH) vs. faze (with an F)

A project or life phase starts with P then is phased out. Editor Fairy has been thanked more than once for pointing out the other spelling. Give an F next time and don’t let phase faze, disturb, or unsettle you.

Reign vs. rein and rain

Pro tip: it’s “free rein” and “rein in”

In the past, everyone knew reins were for guidance and reigns were of terror. Horses’ reins were quotidian. Reign is reserved for royalty and parents over children.

Into each life, “rain” falls. Oddly, no one’s confused.

March 2023 update: just rewatched the first Iron Man movie. Early on, a newspaper is visible with “Reigns” in a headline that needed reining in. Oops.

Too vs. to plus two

If we’re talking numbers, two may be too many or too few. You need the second O to exaggerate or describe. To be is not too be. Do. Scooby.

Editor Fairy has never seen “two” misused either.

My old-fashioned pet peeves

• Is your setting inside or on your porch? Write “It fell on the floor.” If the action’s outside, “It fell on the ground.” The ground floor is usually metaphoric in the US
• Quality! It’s high or low, good or bad. Who knows what you’re getting with “a quality product”
• But,,,, don’t comma directly after a “but” preceding a new thought unless you truly pause there for emphasis. Read it aloud. How much attention does your but deserve?
• Alright is not all right with Editor Fairy. Though alright has been around since the 1880s, it’s not accepted in edited, formal writing

Our Medium is informal. Editor Fairy cringes but moves on rather than suggest “alright” isn’t all right in your story. You may flout the standard on purpose — but consider using “all right” unless you’re flaunting nonchalance. Amirite, or am I right? 

“Amirite” was added to Merriam-Webster in 2021. 

Literal mind here. Not an editing issue, but I’m peeved when a product is “not available in all areas.” Where is it available? Surely it’s in some areas? If only Editor Fairy could ‘Private Note’ those radio commercials.

Footnotes

⁴² I beg your pardon for including the possibly intimidating and definitely boring technical terms verb and noun, let alone homophone and homonym.

Editor Fairy scruples to use grammatical jargon such as “intensive or reflexive pronouns” and “conjunctive adverbs.” Wha? She learned what’s what from reading books published before her own birth in the 20th century but couldn’t diagram a sentence if you begged.

However 🏁

This means Editor Fairy usually doesn’t note prepositional phrase errors.†† Hard to discuss without technical terms, but worth mentioning because it’s easy to fall prey to them.

“Your otherwise marvelous sentence needs a PERSON, PLACE, or THING in this highlighted spot.”

See those bold words after commas in the examples of correctness below?

A prepositional phrase begins with a preposition which introduces a noun form. ➼ After the movie, we went home. ➼ Besides being lazy, he is a fool. — Basic Grammar Terms, prepared for use in orientation sessions at the Loyola Community Literacy Center by Professor Joseph Janangelo of the Department of English, Loyola University Chicago.

Spotting a defiant non-noun lurking after the comma preceding your errant phrase is easier than suggesting what to do about it. I fear your reaction should I simply note: Your sentence needs a PERSON, PLACE, or THING in this highlighted spot.

Hey! How about, suggest rewording — you need a noun here (pls see Footnote 1)? Then I’ll include this story’s URL.

⁴³ Rose Ernst clarifies less vs. fewer wonderfully for cat lovers.🐈 Or check out Grammarly’s blog.

†† Your mudditorial experience may vary.

Muchas gracias to my illustrious writing buddy, Smillew Rahcuef, for your help.

💖 Editor Fairy is happy to learn of, and from, 🐝 Editor Queen Bee — D. K. Harmony and 🐉 Editor Dragon — Carol Lennox. Carol’s story, below, inspired me to finish this. Our peeves play nicely together to help your words.