MINDSET

7 Useful Techniques to Initiate Positive Change in Your Life

How to adjust your mindset and discover your true calling

We all go through periods in which we wish we were doing something else. It might hit us after a particularly difficult day at work, after a bout of bad weather, or during one of life’s milestones.

Decade birthdays are a good example, with the numbers forty and fifty bringing especially critical scrutiny to what we’ve done with our lives. Regardless of when or how it happens, the question is always the same:

Am I spending my life in a way that is rewarding and satisfying to me, or is there something better?

The measure of a life well-lived is not only different for different people but also changes as we get older. For some, being a great spouse and parent is the perfect life choice. Others may decide to seek success in business, the arts, or politics. And for a few, life’s joys and satisfaction will only be found in the solitude of nature.

In general, living the right life should bring a sense of peace — the feeling you are living your life in a way that is most appropriate and just right for you.

Time for a change?

Feelings of stagnation, anxiety, and general dissatisfaction with life can be an indication that something needs to change. Here are five suggestions for when it’s time to take a close, personal look.

1. Determine if you need a change or just a life tune-up.

Set aside a half-hour to review your situation, and do it every day for a week. Give the task the same degree of priority as you would a doctor’s appointment. (Your health = your life. Get the connection?)

Make two lists. On the first, write down everything that happened in the last 24 hours that made you depressed, anxious, or disappointed. On the second, list the activities and interactions that gave you a boost in mindset and attitude.

The goal is to determine the positive things already present in your life (and you want more of), and which people, places, and things are creating toxicity in your environment and need to be reduced or eliminated.

At the end of a week, if both lists don’t represent a realistic overview of how you currently spend your time and how you feel about it, you may need to extend this period of self-observation. The more input you have, the more accurate you can be in identifying the changes you need to create the results you want to accomplish.

Sometimes it’s just a matter of removing the negative influences while retaining the positive. Occasionally, they’re interrelated — you can’t have one without the other. But that could be an illusion or an assumption created from our natural tendency to accept the status quo — rather than taking on the challenge of making desirable change.

2. Don’t know what you want to do?

Look around for someone you perceive as happy, successful, and living a rewarding, enjoyable life. What are they doing? How do they spend their time? How did they arrive at their current position? What are their future plans?

Most people will readily share their story because it’s their favorite subject. Ask plenty of questions and always ask for recommendations on how to pursue a similar career or personal path.

3. Identify the activities you most enjoy

The word passion is overused. So is the word “bliss.” What you’re looking for is that thing you enjoy so much you would do it even without compensation.

A good example is writing. Most writers never receive enough money to be able to do it full time. But they continue writing because they receive a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction from the process.

Have you ever felt that way about something you’ve done in the past? For example, if you’ve always had an interest in auto mechanics, but turning a wrench isn’t something you want to do, how about teaching it?

Doing something enjoyable doesn’t mean you can’t monetize it. You may have wanted to pursue a career as an entertainer, but were discouraged by well-meaning parents, teachers, or friends. Yes, their concern over the extremely challenging odds of success may have been well-founded. But that doesn’t mean you can’t work in the same industry in a support capacity.

Instead of trying to find success as a singer, how about working as a booking agent, talent manager, recording engineer, or vocal coach? You’ll be “inside the business,” exposed to all the movers and shakers in the industry. And if you’re given an opportunity to show off your talent, you’ll already be ahead of the game due to the relationships you’ve built.

4. It may be time to leave your earlier opinions, assumptions, and attitudes in the past.

Mid-twentieth century values preached one career, one company. Today, that kind of misguided loyalty and dedication can leave you bored at best, and unemployed at worst. Constantly look for new opportunities, especially in the fields you enjoy.

Want to strike out on your own? Less than two generations ago, those who pursued an entrepreneurial path were often considered irresponsible or lazy — refusing to “go to work” and make a living. Now, it’s the preferred career path for many independent self-starters.

Our cultural values are always changing — evolving to accommodate new trends and activities. Even so, the process of defining “acceptable” professional and personal behavior often lags behind those who decide to follow a path contrary to the conventional or traditional mindset.

Attitudes concerning gay marriage, gender identity, sexual orientation, and gender specific career roles have undergone massive change in the last decade. Yes, there’s still a long way to go with most of these issues. But if your life choices or professional goals require you to step outside the box, don’t let the lack of societal endorsement keep you from going after the career, the partner — the life — you want.

5. Give your brain a break.

It’s amazing what our subconscious can do when given the opportunity. Constant worry and depression act as “off” switches, disrupting our subconscious ability to analyze, evaluate, and create solutions and alternatives. It works best when we feed it with the relevant data, and then leave it alone to process, sort, and reorganize to arrive at possible options

Although it may seem counterintuitive, the subconscious works best when no one is watching. That means we need to take a break from constantly thinking about the problem.

Every day, take some time to disconnect from all the worrisome, negative influences in your life. Even an hour can work wonders. Take a walk, exercise, visit with a friend, or do something outside — anything that stops you from thinking about what you’re trying to change.

Remember, you become what you think about, so make it a priority to get your mind off the things you want to leave behind.

6. Solicit your family’s support slowly and in small doses.

Sitting your loved ones down and telling them you’re fed up with your life and are on the brink of crisis will scare the bee-gees out of the most stable family.

Try revealing your desire for change and new interests off-handedly. Casually mention an article you found that mirrors a subject you want to know more about. Weave in your new direction a thread at a time, as if it’s evolving by natural happenstance. Ask for their opinions, but avoid arguing over timing or priorities.

7. Be confident

You can do this. Others have. And while the transition can be challenging, it can also be one of the most exciting periods of your life. The time is going to pass anyway, why not make the most out of it?

© 2021 Roger A. Reid. All Rights Reserved.

Roger A. Reid is the author of Better Mondays and Speak Up.

Roger A. Reid, Ph.D. is the host of Success Point 360 Podcast and author of Better Mondays and Speak Up. A certified NLP trainer with degrees in engineering and business, Roger offers tips and strategies for achieving higher levels of career success and personal fulfillment in the real world.