Personal Development/Success/Life Lessons

Turn the Page and Discover The Life You’ve Been Waiting For

Holding onto the past only keeps you from moving forward

Back in grade school, I remember taking the dreaded “achievement test.”

You probably remember this as a standardized group of questions with separate sections on math, English, social studies, and science.

The test was timed and at the bottom of each page, the instructions “Go On To The Next Page” made it clear we were supposed to keep working until finally reaching the last page of the section, which usually contained the single word, “Stop.”

The actual content of the test and the grade I received has long left my memory.

But those big, bold words at the bottom of the page, “Go On To The Next Page,” have resurfaced many times over the years. Especially after taking a devastating hit in business or suffering some other kind of personal loss.

I’m sure the symbolic connection between those old achievement tests and how we respond to what happens to us in life is obvious. To move forward, we have to let go of the past. At some point, we have to resign the negative events to history.

In effect, we have to turn the page.

I think the correlation is important, especially after the year we’ve just been through. The Covid virus, the political divide in our country, the clashes between law enforcement and demonstrators, and the seemingly constant underlying threat of violence, made 2020 a very difficult year for all of us.

Sometimes it seemed like the very foundation of our country was at risk. But thankfully, we have a new administration and new leadership. We have an effective vaccine that will soon begin reducing the mortality and symptomatic effects of the virus. And hopefully, in time, political factions will find common ground to begin working together, helping each other to realize the advantages in preserving our democratic system, and to collectively resist the efforts of those who would attempt to destroy it.

And for all of that to happen, we’re going to have to stop living in the past and focus on the future.

That’s why I thought the achievement test metaphor — the idea that it’s time to turn the page — could be an effective way to change our focus and begin looking forward, to make plans based on a better future rather than continuing to remain stuck in all the negative influences from the past year.

To make the process a little more tangible, I developed a set of guidelines to help you shift your thoughts toward the future and help make this year a time of constructive change. And most important, to leave 2020 in the past — where it belongs.

Look at everything on the page before turning to the next one.

So many of us work through our daily to-do list with blinders on.

We miss the details and overlook the things that could make a real difference in our lives. It might be the smile you didn’t see, the greeting you didn’t hear, the expectant glance that hid the nervous need to ask a question. Instead of drifting through life in a fog, become more aware of what’s going on around you.

And that includes experiencing the victories and achievements of life — both large and small — whether they’re celebrated by you, a co-worker, or a family member. It also includes learning from the mistakes, the false starts, and — when it happens — the unscrupulous actions of others so you’ll recognize that red flag when it rises again.

After you turn the page, don’t look back.

It was a cardinal rule my teacher ruthlessly enforced — I was never allowed to review, correct, or change my work from a previous section. Whatever I had done, it was permanent and couldn’t be erased. Starting a new day turns the page — and there’s no going back to revise or correct yesterday’s mistakes.

When we realize there’s no “do-overs,” we also understand the importance of paying close attention to the choices we make, the conversations we have, and the priorities we establish.

So choose wisely.

And if you make a mistake, remember the circumstances that influenced your decision, and use that information to prevent you from making the same mistake in the future.

When you’re done with the page, move on.

Instead of holding on to negative emotions — especially the anger and bitterness — ask yourself if there’s something you can do, some action you can take, that will bring you a sense of closure.

Sometimes, we just need to realize that holding on to negative feelings reduces the overall quality of our lives. Although your anger, disappointment, or the feeling that you’ve been taken advantage of may give you all kinds of reasons to point the finger at the other guy . . .

So what?

That other guy could care less, because he has his own interpretation of what happened. And in his version, he has nothing to feel bad about.

It’s tempting to hold on to the hurt and resentment that comes our way.

It’s like an unpaid debt we feel we need to collect. But those negative thoughts will eventually take control of our lives, IF we continue to feed them and keep giving them power. Pessimistic emotions from the past are nothing more than emotional baggage, so throw them out, get rid of them, and let them go.

Remember, like that achievement test, life is a timed event and staying on any one page for too long — especially if that page is full of negative experiences — reduces what we can accomplish in the long-term.

Make every day count so that in the end, you don’t regret the way you spent your time, or end up disappointed over what you could have done — or who you could have become.

Sometimes, you simply won’t know the answer.

And that’s true, no matter what kind of test life throws at you.

Yes, you can research past and similar situations or obtain advice from those with more experience. But sometimes, even that won’t be enough. You simply won’t know the right choice until you make it and experience the results of your decision.

What’s your gut telling you?

Occasionally, the best we can do is to make a sensible guess.

And even then, we may have to leave something blank. It often happens when we arrive at a point in our lives when we don’t know what to do next or when we have more than one choice, and can’t see the outcome of either one clearly enough to know which one is best.

So when you’re pressed to make a decision and you can’t base your choice on reasonable logic, use your instinct. It often comes down to trying one of the alternatives and seeing what happens — because we don’t always know what’s waiting for us until we turn the page.

© 2021 Roger A. Reid. All Rights Reserved.

Listen to the Podcast of this story at Success Point 360

Roger A. Reid is the author of Better Mondays: The New Rules for Creating Financial Success and Personal Freedom (While Working for the Man)

Roger A. Reid, Ph.D. is the host of Success Point 360 Podcast and author of Better Mondays and Speak Up. A certified NLP trainer with degrees in engineering and business, Roger offers tips and strategies for achieving higher levels of career success and personal fulfillment in the real world.