Reflections of an Aspiring Stoic

Establishing Peace of Mind in a Chaotic World

“How ridiculous and how strange to be surprised at anything which happens in life.” — Marcus Aurelius

Natural Responses

By definition, stoicism is the endurance of pain or hardship without displaying feelings or complaint.

This goes against human instinct.

We have automatic responses to pain; if you touch something that burns you, you’ll pull your hand away. If you stub your toe, you may curse the object that obviously had it out for you.

Pain causes physical, biological, and physiological responses. It can also be an indication that something is wrong.

Do we react to pain because it is unexpected?

Is it possible to respond differently?

The expression “Mind over Matter” implies that we are able to self-regulate internally when physical factors are out of our control.

The idea that the mind and the physical body are separate entities, (although inseparable) is widely debated among psychologists and philosophers alike.

The power of the mind has allowed people to overcome seemingly impossible goals that defy physical limitations.

Our species has explored Earth, (the Ocean is still a challenge) as well as a limited realm of Space. People have created incredibly advanced technology that facilitates global communication and a more efficient society, to name a few.

We have been able to manipulate our environment in order to make living more comfortable with enough resources (i.e. money), yet the capabilities of our own minds have proven to be one of the great mysteries of life.

Does the mind really have power over the physical world?

Are our minds capable of so much because they’re beyond our control?

“Humanity must seek what is NOT simple and obvious, using the simple and obvious.” — Musonius Rufus

What does stoicism look like in 2023?

Many of the most well-known stoics experienced the world from the perspective of ancient Rome and Greece; there’s something to be said about the fact that their philosophies are still relevant today.

We rarely have control over external events, but self-control is an important skill to develop.

Managing our expectations can help us respond accordingly.

Mindfulness has the power to encourage synchronicity in our lives.

These actualities remind us to be conscious of and intentional about our reactions.

Common misconception: Stoic people don’t express feelings, therefore they don’t have any.

Much like introverted people, stoics choose to process thoughts and emotions internally in order to control their response.

Stoics and introverts seem to have a lot in common.

Both are focused on the inner world, self awareness, and analysis of emotions as opposed to impulsive reactions.

Lack of expression is often perceived negatively, whether it’s a result of introversion or intentional stoicism.

Refusing to verbally respond to a situation is a response.

When we choose not to publicize our emotions or opinions, our feelings toward a situation can be interpreted in various ways.

I’d rather keep my thoughts to myself than express them inauthentically, which leads to even greater misinterpretation.

Stoic philosophy says that the wise person is one who can regain the ability to think clearly after recovering from initial reactions of fear, shock, etc.

Thinking clearly is the key here.

We all have to maintain a level of composure, especially in the professional world, despite the general chaos of reality.

Internalizing emotions does not mean ignoring them, but being able to compartmentalize in order to maintain a state of serenity is important.

Acknowledging which thoughts and feelings are productive helps us filter through negativity and disorder.

When dealing with tragedy, grief, and/or rage, giving these intense feelings an outlet is necessary for healing. Creating a safe space for this expression is imperative, and that looks different for each individual.

We have to accept the situation as out of our control, and remember that our minds are exceptionally resilient.

Reacting emotionally usually causes more harm than healing, and leads to regrettable interactions.

Focusing on what we can control, our behavior, can change our perspective on our circumstances.

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.” — Seneca

In Conclusion

While life may be full of surprises, we must learn to expect the unexpected.

My journey as a stoic introvert has been a lonely one, but I don’t mean that negatively. I quite enjoy feeling as if I’m the only one who truly knows the depths of my soul, because I believe that’s true for everyone. Some people are just in denial.

We inevitably perceive each other inaccurately. This doesn’t mean we can’t have meaningful relationships, but relationship-to-self should be a priority.

I am also deeply empathetic, which is a strange combination with my typically unexpressive personality. I not only deal with my own feelings internally, but I tend to be influenced by other people’s energy as well.

I’m working on that.

Researching stoicism has lead to some very interesting revelations about how I identify myself; my journey of self discovery is just beginning.

Thank you for reading!

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