Redneck Anthems that Answer the Question: Who Are You?
Lord, he was born a ramblin’ man
I drove to central Oklahoma last week so I’m saturated in a fresh layer of redneck like a brand new highway blanketed in tar. Seven bearded Okies whooped and hollered as if they’d just gotten out of jail (again) at the concert I attended.
They were not named Dopey, Sleepy, Happy, etc. which is good because I would’ve tossed those dwarves out the bay doors for bad behavior. They came to see James McMurtry for one reason: he wrote a redneck anthem for them.
It’s called Choctaw Bingo and goes like this:
It’s a character study delivered in a series of viciously funny one-liners about a dubious collection of kin who meet up for a family reunion. They include sexy cousins, gun-toting in-laws and meth-cooking uncles.
McMurtry is a talented storyteller in prime form, even though the concert was louder than a supersonic jet. I could only understand every third word the man was saying, but that’s one more tragic feature of aging (mine, not McMurtry’s).
But them good ole boys didn’t care! They came for the whiskey and their favorite song of all time and stayed because the cops didn’t show up and force their rowdy asses to leave.
This short review of the greatest hillbilly anthems ever will grow as a person and, as a bonus, help you determine whether you are a freedom-loving libertarian. To paraphrase Socrates, self-knowledge is almost as important as cold beer.
1 / Copperhead Road, by Steve Earle
Steve Earle was mentored by Townes Van Zandt, possibly the greatest American songwriter to ever live. Earle hit the scene with a splash after “Guitar Town” and “Someday” from his debut album. He’s a storyteller and a hardcore troubadour, the title of his biography from 2003.
“Copperhead Road” is about a Vietnam vet who returns from the war to rekindle the family business of running moonshine, but ups his game and switches to weed, which he grows out in the country on — you guessed it, ol’ Copperhead Road.
I didn’t know this tune was wildly popular with hillbillies until I sat behind a biker gang at one of his concerts and they all stood up and started fist-pumping and singing along.
If Copperhead Road makes you want to move to West Virginia and build a still in a holler, you were probably your high school’s drug dealer or dated him. You ride a motorcycle, or want to, and have been married to the same person for 18 years but constantly think about divorce.
You have excellent mechanical aptitude and an entrepreneurial flair.
In your younger years, you did jail time but now you are a faithful member of a 12-step group, mentoring others along the path of recovery. You are close with your family, especially your grandparents.
Libertarians love this song, so if this anthem speaks to you then go vote for no government.
2/ Ramblin’ Man, by The Allman Brothers Band
The musically gifted brothers Gregg and Duane formed a band in 1969 that included Dickey Betts on lead guitar, Berry Oakley on bass, and Butch Trucks and Jai Johanny “Jaimoe” Johanson on drums.
Two days before Halloween in 1971, Duane died tragically in a motorcycle wreck. He’d recently been released from rehab after a struggle with heroin addiction, along with Oakley and two of their roadies. Ultimately, Gregg and the rest of the guys chose to continue with the band.
Ramblin’ Man came from the group’s fourth studio album, Brothers and Sisters (1973).
If you identify with Ramblin’ Man, obviously you like to travel and fear commitment. You have several children, and a few you don’t know about (if you are a guy) or who live in another state (if you are a gal). You drive a classic car, like an El Camino, or take the Greyhound or Amtrak. You’ve definitely worked for the carnival and have the tats to prove it.
Like water off a duck, negativity falls right off you. You don’t know how to hold a grudge.
Ramblin’ men and gals aren’t political, so if this is your anthem you probably don’t even know your voting precinct.
3/ Chocktaw Bingo, by James McMurtry
This song paints a vivid portrait of the kind of family you don’t want to pull up next to at the RV park. They are perpetually drunk, high, and own 17 guns. Then again, they might invite you over for a barbecue.
If Chocktaw Bingo is the redneck anthem that gets you all choked up, you have mixed feelings about your family because on the one hand, you have to stick together since the whole town hates your guts, but on the other hand, they are dragging you down and you know it.
People are constantly underestimating you.
You love attending concerts in groups, where you dress casually in jeans, a T-shirt, and a baseball cap (backward) and sit in the back getting drunk and loud and wondering why the opening act has to chastise you to STFU, after which the audience applauds.
You are an animal lover who takes in strays. You are several months behind on child support payments (male) or trying to get back on your feet while your parents raise your kids (female).
If you know all the lyrics to Choctaw Bingo, you are definitely a libertarian and possibly an anarchist.
4/ Sweet Home Alabama, by Lynyrd Skynyrd
The opening chords pull you in like a cheap hooker’s perfume. This song bleeds its sincere love of The South like no other. Even Neil Young fans love it.
In 1974, Sweet Home reached #8 on the charts. Lead singer Ronnie Van Zandt and Young were actually good friends who respected each other’s music, and young wrote “Powderfinger” for the band but it never got recorded.
If Sweet Home is your anthem, you love a swimmin’ hole and hate city life. You married your high school sweetheart. You attend church regularly and have wholesome hobbies like watching college football and fishing (guys) or sewing and baking (gals), or football and baking (non-binary). You’ve stuck with the same job for twenty years even though your boss is a pain in the ass, and lived in the same small town for decades.
Whenever you hear a Lynyrd Skynyrd song, you tear up recalling the tragic deaths of some band members in a small plane crash in 1977. They’d been playing together for 13 years, and the crash ended the band for a decade. Van Zandt, Steve Gains, and backup singer Cassie Gaines were killed but a few members survived and the band re-formed in 1987.
Lovers of Sweet Home are usually just Republicans.
5/ Freebird, by Skynyrd
The ultimate anthem, from Skynyrd’s first album, which went 2x platinum.
People like to make fun of Freebird, but the tune is diabolically infectious. If you find yourself singing along, holding up your lighter or cellphone, it’s because you are loyal, kind, introverted, and even though aren’t a ramblin’ man (or love one), you will never, ever settle down emotionally.
You are a highly charismatic individual who attracts lovers like flies to honey. Your lovers want to fix you, yet you don’t feel broken.
Drugs and drink aren’t your style — you’d rather get high on open-air concerts and the scent of coconut suntan lotion and ganja wafting on the breeze.
You enjoy sunsets and walks down by the river or if you happen to be vacationing on the beaches of Mississippi or Texas, barefoot in the surf, usually alone after another break-up.
You are stingy with money and may already be a millionaire.
You claim you aren’t into politics but your natural leadership has flung you into running for office as an Independent.
6 / All Right Guy, by Todd Snider
Todd Snider grew up in Portland, Oregon, but don’t hold that against him. He is hilarious, thoughtful, and way underappreciated. This tune is arguably semi-redneck. It discusses essential redneck themes, like:
— Low self-esteem — Going to jail — Disappointing your dad — Beer drinking
For that reason, and because everyone should listen to Todd Snider, I’m adding this anthem to the list. This story (covered by Gary Allen) about a regular guy pulls at the heartstrings and makes you want to sing along.
If you want to sing/shout along to All Right Guy, you are probably delivering pizzas for a living but taking night classes to become a dental hygenist or xray technician. You may not have a valid driver’s license.
You have a great sense of humor, a close circle of friends, and are a die-hard optimist. If your dental hygienist dream doesn’t work out, you want to own a dispensary.
All right guys voted for Bernie Sanders, so they are not Libertarians.
Final Thoughts
Anthems are songs or ballads that cause you to sing along even if you are tone-deaf, shy and asocial. Queen’s We Are the Champions is probably the ultimate anthem because everyone agrees that yes, they are obviously the champions of the world.
We all crave that feeling of being part of something bigger than our little selves, but what sets a redneck anthem apart is breaking the law, subverting the government, and fishing and/or boating.
Sure, Freebird appears to be about fear of commitment, but ultimately it’s about freedom and voting for super limited government.
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Jean Campbell recently started her first Substack newsletter to laser focus on getting her book, City of Lies: A Street Hustler’s Omaha Story, published. But wait, there’s more! For free humor on Substack, check out Flying Monkey Mind.