Reasons Why You Should Always Check People’s Profiles

You never know who you might be missing out on

Between the “read as much as you can” and “connect with others”, there are a bunch of people who don’t do what they preach, and no, this is not one of those articles where some random writer rants about this platform. My intention with this article is to make you think about your social media behaviour and the reasons behind it.

If what you are trying to do is to find your ideal group of people to create some authentic connectivity which will eventually lead you to a sale - which by the way, when you do that you lose your authenticity. Trust me on that, I've been there - then you are probably being too Narcissistic. And yes, we all have worn that label at some point.

After experiencing a “connectivity overwhelm” during the last three months, I have decided to go back to a more “aligned with my beliefs” self.

Being a people pleaser can take you to a place of no return. It can make you lose your identity. And this is what was starting to happen to me, again, but this time in the online space.

So I have taken a pace back and gone back to that person I was when I opened my Twitter account in order to share with the world my fears and my passion for all things Gothic, mainly fiction. A me that, maybe out of lack of knowledge, genuinely looked at people’s profiles before following them, who also took the time to check who followed me to decide whether to follow them back and who connected with creators whose work really resonated with me.

I have gone back to contact other creators after having read, followed and interacted with them for a while. A long process? Yes. Worthwhile? Totally, because when you do this, you have enough information about the other person to be offering interesting deals for them too.

The only way to be valuable to others is by analysing how they align with your project, proposing something attractive to them that’s also beneficial to you and staying in contact with them. At the end of the day, with time some of these contacts will become part of your tribe and the people you will hang out with in online meetings or even plan to visit one day.

Knowing yourself first can be a game-changer

This is the thing: as a good INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeler and Perceptive), I’m in that group of 4% of the population, also known as “the mediators”.

As a teacher for over twenty years now, that aspect has always been one of my strengths when recommending platforms, groups, services, what to do and say in interviews, matching profiles, and creating social events.

The downside of these programmes is that one makes a huge effort and invests a lot of energy organising activities and events to then see how some people couldn’t care less. In those cases, I felt hugely deceived and angry with those who didn’t even say thank you for the effort.

Of course, my instant reaction as an INFP is to look at the group of dissatisfied or numb customers rather than looking at all the good things that came out of that experience and how many other people were really making the most of the opportunities given.

If I had known about the Myers Briggs test then, I would have probably had the tools to handle my frustration and redirect my energies elsewhere.

To know more about the INFP profile here you have a link:

An exceptional follower

Coming back to this article’s main topic, your personality type can be what brings you down or it can be the key to success. And this is something we should all be taught to learn about in schools:

how to handle decisions and live struggles depending on how we perceive the world around us.

Being someone who connects with others the way I do has given me the labels of “exceptional”, “genuine” or “shiner”. I can’t deny that those adjectives make me feel unique and special. However, the downside is that I also expect the same from the other side and when that doesn’t happen, I get a slap of reality in the face.

Become friends with your Shadow Self

If this is the first time you read about the Shadow Self, don’t worry about it, I only knew about it a few months ago when I started working in-depth on “Identity and the Gothic” while developing my brand.

In a nutshell, the Shadow Self is the part of ourselves that we repress in order to be accepted in a social group. This term was first coined by psychologist and Freud’s disciple Carl Jung.

As Nametagscott says in his article Treat the shadow self as an energy source:

Instead of feeding it, feed on it. Make it part of your diet. Treat the shadow self as an energy source. Channel it into creating inspiring art or fostering social change or running charity triathlons.

Your Shadow Self can create huge insecurities if you are the “relying on others too much” type, which has a direct impact on your identity as a friend, a family member and of course as a content creator.

Do you know what your Shadow Self looks like? It’s never too late to find out.

The road to authentic networking

When I looked at the work of my new follower Amy Grech (as I do every time someone follows me), I realised that in one of her articles she talked about “Women in Horror” and her experience as a horror writer.

To my surprise, she happens to know my very good friend, Irish writer and academic Tracy Fahey. This got us talking and even though we haven’t connected much since that initial contact because she’s not very present on Medium, she’s been in the back of my mind for a while, as well as in my list of writers and people to come back to.

I know that having read her few articles and having people in common is the beginning of a slow cooking process that will eventually transform into a collaboration proposal. Don’t forget this is what happens when you are a mediator by nature.

This is the article where you can find a list of contemporary women who write horror:

Conclusions

We all have different ways of interacting with others on social platforms and I’m nobody to tell you what’s the best way to do so. However, if you are jumping like crazy all over the place trying to connect with people I recommend you start by reading the work of all your followers.

There are bound to be a lot of followers who don’t even read your work and all they want is for you to follow back, or sell you something straight away. But that, my friend, is also an interesting discovery.

Takeaways

• If you want to create powerful connections, you need to be wanting to genuinely connect with people around you first
• Starting a new relationship with a complete stranger takes a lot of courage, don’t spoil it by not being meaningful
• Your personality type can help you discover more about yourself and the dark side of connecting with others
• Follow the breadcrumbs. Analyse the real reasons people connect with you. These will save you some heartache
• Connecting for the right reasons can lead you to priceless friendships for life

Final thoughts

How do you connect with people? Are your reasons genuine? How much do you know about yourself?

Thanks for reading

© Alicia Domínguez

As a “Confidence Builder”, “Writer”, “Content Creator” and “Project Auditor”, I help people find their path by analysing their dark corners. Visit me at Alice in Gothic Land, check my YouTube channel and follow me on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, or Ko-fi. Book your First Free Assessment Call. Let’s figure out your unique journey.

If you liked this article you might also want to read:

Also, support the gang: use my referral link to become a Medium member so other great writers and I can keep producing enlightening and transformational content for you to grow and keep learning.