046 | MEMORIES | THOUGHTS
Reasons Behind My Preference for Happy Endings
My way of overcoming grief
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I always like a happy ending in a story. It doesn’t mean I reject stories without them. I enjoy reading them, but I prefer them to conclude on a positive note. Whenever I write something, I make sure to end it in a happier tone.
I haven’t always been this way. There was a time I used to appreciate all the different endings and associated emotions.
I still feel like it was yesterday, the day all this was changed. It isn’t easy to accept that six years have passed since that fateful day on May 5th, 2017.
It’s a memory that still reluctant to visit. My brother passed away at the age of 30 due to a brain aneurysm, which occurs when a blood vessel in the brain ruptures. Despite the fact that my sister-in-law worked as a doctor in the same hospital, we were unable to save him even with the best efforts of the medical team.
To rub salt in the wound, my sister-in-law was pregnant at the time of his passing, and due to the emotional trauma, she gave birth to a stillborn child on the same day as my brother’s funeral.
Even after all these years, it’s still a heavy burden to bear. However, in the aftermath of my brother’s passing, I couldn’t afford to grieve over his demise because I needed to remain strong for the sake of my parents. So instead of dwelling on the pain of his loss, I focused on all the happy memories of my brother.
My brother was just a year and eight months older than me. But he was only a grade ahead in school because he was born in February, and I was born in November of the following year.
Therefore, we shared a similar group of friends. Of course, he wasn’t too thrilled about having his little brother tag along all the time. And to top it off, we were complete opposites in character.
Growing up, I was quite a shy and introverted kid. But my brother was outgoing and the most extroverted person I knew. He was famous in our village and school, and everyone knew him by his name and vice versa. And to them, I was just “his brother.” He was well known even among our distant relatives, and I’m pretty sure they barely knew I existed.
While I have ever attempted to climb only a few trees in our grandma’s yard, he has climbed every single one with ease. He learned how to ride a bicycle at a young age, while I struggled with it until my mid-teenage years. While I am more focused on reading books, he joined the scout team. When I used to spend time at the library, he played on the school cricket team.
But don’t let him fool you; he was actually very intelligent. I rarely succeeded in defeating him at chess. And we scored almost similar marks in our exams. While I chose the physical science stream and became an engineer, he had the talent and qualifications to follow the same path. Still, he opted for commerce and joined the banking sector.
Unlike me, he was a practical risk-taker. As I said earlier, we were like two sides of the same coin.
Unsurprisingly, we often argued since he didn’t usually seek my opinion before making decisions, like which cartoon to watch. Even though I was shy, I challenged him in those events, only to be defeated.
Our mother had a rule that if we started a fight, we would both be punished, so it wasn’t uncommon for us to receive punishment once or twice a day. Despite our frequent quarrels at home, he was always there to protect me from bullies at school.
However, everything changed once I was accepted into university. Truth be told, until then, I had been living under his shadow. After I was admitted to the university, he started to see me as a friend rather than his annoying younger brother.
Come to think of that, those years were the best years of our relationship. In fact, our entire family spent those years together, happy and content.
Actually, it has proven effective for me to focus on the positive aspects of my brother’s life rather than dwell on his death. Instead of discussing his passing, I often reflect on the many joyful moments we shared together.
Sometimes, I even find myself laughing at the memories of those small arguments we had. It was easy to maintain a sense of positivity when I think about him because I have so many cherished memories that I hold dear.
As a result of my brother’s passing, I have developed a habit of seeking out positive endings in other narratives. Whenever I come across a sad story, I find myself imagining alternate endings that are more hopeful and optimistic. It often differs from reality, but it brings me a sense of comfort.
I understand that everyone has their own way of dealing with emotions, and others may not share my preference. I respect that and do not impose my viewpoint on anyone.
Well, this concludes my story. If you ever come across a sad story in which I have left a comment with a positive outlook, please don’t take offense, as it is unintentional. It is my attempt to find comfort by creating my own version with a satisfying conclusion.
As a final note, my sister-in-law has remarried and now has a wonderful family. Last I heard that they have a two-year-old boy now. Our relationship with her has become a little bit distant. Because we wanted to give her the space and support to restart her life.
As we approach the six-year anniversary of my beloved brother’s passing on May 5th, I want to dedicate this post to celebrating his life and the happy memories we shared. His memory remains deeply ingrained in our hearts and we carry him with us always. May You Attain Nibbana Ayiya!