Real, Actionable Steps To Improve Your Self-Awareness Skills.
If you have none, that's okay. This is a great way to start, too.
Too often, we make the mistake of thinking we need some elaborate fancy routine or system to become or improve our self-awareness.
Or it's this magical enlightening moment that happens randomly at some point in our lives.
These are perhaps the top obstacles in starting and developing a system or routine that works.
If you're like me, and you like to be organized and have an idea for how you want everything to be, odds are you also have this 'ideal' plan for how you want your healing work to happen.
If you're the kind of person who plans nothing and goes with the flow, the result ends up being the same — nothing happens.
Whether journaling, doing spiritual work (for me, it’s developing a relationship with God), or working out, you probably have imagined this 'perfect way' it should happen.
But with time, I've learned that nothing is perfect and that the routines or systems that work are the ones you can stick to.
With that said, here are some foundational steps to establish a routine or system that will help you become self-aware and improve overall.
Designate a certain amount of time where you're by yourself, with your thoughts, without any distractions.
Yes, it's awkward. Yes, it feels odd, but that's how it's supposed to be when we're learning something new.
When I first began seeing my counselor, she'd give me journaling assignments.
These assignments were the first intentional self-awareness exercise I'd ever done. Before that, I don't remember when I purposely sat alone with my thoughts.
You need to set time aside because self-awareness is not something that happens magically. As it says in the title, it's a skill. And you cannot develop a skill without practicing it.
You also will not become good at something without practicing it constantly.
Much like playing a sport, you need to show up most days and go through the motions and exercises.
Do it enough times, and you'll see yourself progress.
Find a way, a medium, to help you process and organize your thoughts and emotions.
Not everyone processes things the same way or has the same methods.
For example, I like writing, but I don't like writing.
Let me explain. I love thinking of ideas, but I'm not a fan of literally taking out a piece of paper and writing with a pen.
I much prefer to type. So, instead of using a physical journal, I use my laptop.
It's much easier to sit at my desk and start typing away.
This is one of the keys to sticking with these exercises. Find the path of least resistance when it comes to organizing your thoughts.
It requires little to no mental energy to sit at my desk and type anything and everything I'm thinking about.
Find something similar. If you do enjoy physically writing, then do that.
If you prefer to talk, record yourself and go over the recording.
Try any method you can think of and see if you like it.
Over time, you'll find the one that works best for you that you can stick with.
If you can stick with it, you're more than halfway there.
Make it a simple routine, nothing too complicated, but if you like to get fancy with it, do it.
The whole point is to be able to stick with whatever method or routine you come up with.
For me, that's getting up in the morning, doing the dishes, making tea, then sitting my butt down on my desk and starting to type — that's my entire routine.
It's simple and at the beginning of the day because that's what works best for me.
I'm not a girlie who likes different color highlighters and a cute diary or notebook to write in after the day ends, but some people like that.
And that's the point.
It's supposed to be something you enjoy, whether you make the time to get a nice journal with cute or fancy stickers with a nice ballpoint pen.
There are so many options you can choose from.
For example, you don't have to do this at home if you don't want to.
If your home is a loud, chaotic place, go to a coffee shop or even a local park if the weather allows it.
Create a routine that you can maintain and even look forward to.
Some days, it will require some effort and willpower to show up.
No one wakes up feeling like roses and rainbows every day. Some days, you will have to push yourself to show up and get the thing done.
Some mornings, I don't want to do the whole self-reflection, thinking about what lessons I've learned shtick.
But I push myself to because I know it makes me better.
It helps my writing on this platform. It helps my self-development as a human being, which, as a result, has a positive impact on other areas of my life.
And that's the reason why we practice self-awareness in the first place.
To identify what we're good at and not doing so well at and work on it to improve our lives.
As the saying goes, nothing worthwhile comes easy, including the skill of being self-aware, which allows us to make lasting positive changes.
Enjoy the damn thing.
Life is a journey, and becoming self-aware doesn't need to be some arduous process that feels like you're chewing sand.
Make it a fun and enjoyable experience so you return to it the next day.
The idea of creating a routine where I do something for myself inspires me to think of many other things I would like to do for myself.
Before, I didn't like sitting with my thoughts because I was forced to look at myself and acknowledge the things I wasn't doing well with.
That's usually how it starts for everyone.
But if you push past that uncomfortable feeling, you'll be grateful to have started.
You'll find yourself realizing new things, reflecting on past times, and teaching yourself how to do and be better the next time you experience something similar.
As I said, when you fall into the routine of reflection and self-awareness, you start making changes that have lasting positive effects on your life.