Psychology of a predator, a helpful guide for young women.

I have a question for you. Is it better to lie, cheat and steal? It’s easy money, but the hours are horrible. Or, is it better to help others, to be a good person, to stand up for the weak. I’ll give you a hint, one of them in the long run gives you far more fulfillment than the other. That’s why I’m writing this now.

Keep in mind before I continue, I’m a 240 pound, 6 foot 3 inches tall, tattooed, shaved head white male, whose quite good at being an asshole when the need arises. Following that, I have an extensive background in combative Arms, firearms and other weapons training. Over the past 20 years, I’ve stretched out my knowledge base, to field medic training, outdoor survival, etc,. The point I’m making is, if I’m walking down the street, I look like a hard target, for most any bad guy, looking to do me harm.

For 5 years I was a Firearms instructor and self-defense trainer. Now you can take a Firearms course, or a self-defense class, and I encourage it; But that’s not what I’m discussing now.

I’m discussing certain habits, and understandings, that you should stop. I’m implying a bit of a lifestyle change, not just for you but, for the others around as well. I haven’t taught in many years now, sadly covid killed much of that. But any chance I get, and my schedule allows, I do what I can to give others the knowledge needed to protect themselves. It’s literally the old cliche of “teach a man to fish”.

I’ll try to categorize this in a simplified manner without diving into immense detail, only extracting key points that women, specifically, should be aware of and use. Guys are allowed as well, but their not my target audience at this moment. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to mansplain anything. If you think somebody who actively tries to help others, is the bad person, then you certainly aren’t a good person in this circumstance.

Understand this about the predator mindset. They’re not looking for a fair fight, they prefer to ambush their prey. They want to catch you when you least expect it. They’re looking for someone who shows signs of timidness, or being unsure themselves. They, can smell it on you, just as I can. It’s the sense of feeling like a victim. That’s, what they look for.

A brief reflection on reality now. Men, traditionally are bigger and stronger. I know you can’t say that in 2023, but I’m not trying to virtue signal, I’m trying to help people. If you take a man with the same height and weight as you. He will naturally have more upper body strength, along with that evil little bastard testosterone, to help push him through things you may not ne able to in that moment.

Don’t ever just rely on the strategy of kicking them in the crotch. It’s foolish to assume that’s our Achilles heel. When the need arises, men will fight right through that pain with no issue. Eyes and throat tend to work a lot better; but unless you have practiced hand-to-hand combat training, you’re only hurting yourself by thinking you can go Toe to Toe with the average male.

Let’s use me as an example, considering many of my students had fantasized kicking my ass at some point, and their now better for it. I’m certain Ronda Rousey, could kick the ever living shit out of me with no problem, but if you take a male MMA fighter with her exact same weight and height he’ll still have the advantage of punching harder, jumping farther and still be naturally stronger overall. As a result, she would be killed. Again, this is simple biology, by refusing to accept reality, deciding to stick to a fantasy, can get people killed. Men do it all the time. I only wish to help, understanding your limitations is key to knowing how to effectively protect yourself when there’s no one around to do so for you.

There’s a popular line I learned many years ago, It’s simple, short, sweet, and get to the point. “Don’t do stupid shit, in stupid places, with stupid people”. If your able to wrap your mind around it in its entirety. Then you’ll be far safer for it.

Your phone is your biggest enemy. I know, everybody enjoys scrolling on social media, seeing how many followers you have. The endorphins are nice, but when you’re out in public, put, the, damn, phone, away. I can’t tell you on the daily basis how many people I watch in public, walk into walls and light posts. If an inanimate object can take you out, what do you think somebody who’s actively looking for distracted prey can do. Okay, that’s an easy one but an obvious one.

Your posture, is a visual window to your confidence, and capability. Stand up straight, shoulders back, suck in that gut. That’s not just for the Marines, that’s for everybody. By having good posture, and training yourself to maintain it until it becomes habit, gives off an essence of confidence. Predators don’t want that, they want easy prey.

Situational awareness, it’s a difficult one to master but, with practice you only get better. This is a circumstance that the movies tend to get right sometimes. Does someone look nervous? Are they swaying back and forth?Are their eyes darting around trying to watch everything? Do they scare easily. What are their hands doing? Are they exposed, or in their pockets?Entering a new environment, like going into a gas station, or walking through a parking lot. Be aware of the people around you. Keep your head on a swivel, not everyone is a threat, but if someone just happens to look a little shady, it doesn’t hurt to keep one extra eye on that person while they’re in your vicinity.

This leads me to the next one, judging others. I know, we all don’t like to hurt people’s feelings, but when something doesn’t seem right, there is a chance, it may not be. Distance yourself, if someone starts losing their shit in a Walmart parking lot, as exciting as it may be to watch. Don’t stick around, leave and get away from it. Like I said before, I typically look like a hard target and try to always carry myself as such. But even I, if walking down the street and I see some guys acting like assholes, even if I know I could sort them out if I had to. I still cross the street. Why should you set yourself up for failure when you don’t have to. Remember the 3 S’s.

Being a bitch can de escalate public situations. I noticed this habit, although I understand why, many young women are taught to always be polite in social settings, regardless of what the other person is doing. Quite often, if some creep is eyeballing you, and you catch wind of it, you’ll have the immediate habit to avert your eyes, which will tell them that you may be a new target. Especially in a public setting, don’t divert your eyes, stare right back at him. Make him aware that you see him, and you know what he’s up to. If it persists make a scene of it. “What the fuck are you looking at”, is always a classic. 99.9% of the time if you stare back and or call him out on it, they immediately avert their eyes. I’d rather just be wrong than be in Danger. I can apologize for being a jerk afterwards for the misunderstanding. Men typically aren’t bad, the last thing they want is for someone to think they’re up to no good. Even when you apologize for the comment, they’ll typically apologize back for making you feel that way in the first place. So, no harm done.

In my classes, I noticed roughly 15% of all women, struggled immensely with bitch mode. Those are the ones I am talking to right now. It’s okay, but if you can’t help yourself, then no one else can either. A trick I was told years ago, and pass along to every young woman I meet, that gives me the impression of timidness.

If some creep is watching you, and you mustered up the courage to stare him down, but his staring persits. First step is to make sure you are and or can get to a public place immediately, if he then follows, as soon as you’re able to, find an older woman and say, “Mom, this guy won’t leave me alone!”. Or something to that effect. I know that may seem strange, but I give this idea because of a very simple fact. Older women you meet in this world, have most likely had to deal with creeps before, They’re seasoned in the ways of assholes, and they know how to deal with a creep. That woman will see what’s going on, and help put an end to this. Complete worst case scenario, at least there’s now two of you. My Grandmother once told me, “You don’t get the award of being old one day like me, without doing some shit in your life”. What a lovely woman.

There’s a simple reason why I began training others. Why I sought a career in doing so, why I’m writing this now, for women to read, and continue to learn without me present.

It’s because I have a wife, and daughters. The chivalrous side of me, blinds me with always wanting to protect them. But I can’t simply always be there. So, making sure they understand the importance of practicing is key. Of course, my wife is married to me of all people, and my daughters are a product of their father. So, they all have the capability of bitch mode and then some, and I encourage it. They’re the reason why I write this now. I want every woman to have the same capability, to no longer feel like a victim, to carry yourself with real earned confidence.

There’s so much more on this topic that I can begin to explain, but I feel like this is a good start. If you’d like to learn more please let me know. Knowing that I’ve helped others makes this more worthwhile. Bad guys make up less than 2% of our entire population. So why the hell are the rest of us so scared of them. Let’s all just help each other, stand up for others when they haven’t learned how to do so themselves yet, and thank you for reading.