One-Sided Love — Love or Worship?
The very idea of one-sided love is bullshit
Do you believe in the idea of unrequited love?
How does it feel to love someone endlessly and not receive even an inch of it?
Falling in love with someone is not something we choose. It just happens. Being attracted to someone who doesn’t reciprocate the same way is also not a problem.
The main problem is to remain attracted to someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you and you are choosing that.
If you love someone and they don’t love you back and you are still loving them?
Let me tell you,
It is not LOVE. It is WORSHIP.
I once heard this from someone:
You become attached to unrequited love only because it gives you a righteous cause to chase someone who treats you like shit!
My friend, you can not remain attracted to someone who gives you clear indications of disinterest or even says to you clearly that they don’t feel the same way for you.
The idea of this article came to my mind after a phone call with one of my friends.
She is madly in love with a friend who doesn’t love her.
It is so painful to see her like that. It is obvious that she is hurting, and her friend knows it, but it’s not his fault either.
You can’t force feelings and there is no point in dreaming about a relationship with unrequited feelings. You are only harming yourself in this process, mentally, physically, and even socially.
People don’t understand the simple fact that,
Trying to love someone excessively or sacrificing everything to be with them will likely have negative consequences and won’t necessarily lead to the love you hope for.
I try to convince her a lot to come out of it as soon as possible because there is no point in degrading yourself for someone who doesn’t even care about what you are going through.
However, she is fooling herself by saying, ‘he doesn’t want to hurt me either. It’s just that he doesn’t feel the same way.’
This statement forced me to ask,
What could be the reasons people remain in unrequited love and how to cope with it?
I thought about it last night and now discussing it here. Maybe it helps someone.
1. Self Doubt and Low Self Esteem:
If you struggle with self-doubt, you may believe that you are not worthy of love and that you will never find someone who will truly love you in return.
Also, with low self-esteem, people don’t feel insulted when they are ill-treated or even degraded.
2. Hope:
It plays the most important role. You may believe that there is a chance the other person will eventually reciprocate your feelings or that circumstances will change, and the other person will start to see you differently.
This hope can be fueled by small gestures or signals from the other person, even if these signals are not indicative of their true feelings.
3. State of Denial:
When you are in denial about your unrequited love, you refuse to acknowledge the reality of the situation.
You may even convince yourself that the other person does have feelings for you, despite all evidence to the contrary.
By denying the truth of your unrequited love, you can avoid confronting your feelings and healthily processing them. This can lead to you staying stuck in the same emotional state for an extended period, even though it is causing you pain.
4. Excuses:
Making excuses for why the other person is not reciprocating your love by justifying their behavior.
These excuses can be:
- The other person is going through a difficult time and needs space or time to work through their issues.
- The other person is busy with other things in their life, such as work or school.
5. Illusions:
Defending unrequited love can be a reason why some people stay in this type of relationship. This is detrimental.
The following are common illusions:
- You may believe that your love is genuine and that the other person is simply not able to see it or recognize it.
- You see yourself as selfless and dedicated, willing to love someone unconditionally, even if your love is not reciprocated.
- You think that your ability to love someone who does not love you back is a sign of emotional maturity and strength.
Are you also the one who is stuck in one-sided love and denying it?
Are the reasons above resonate with your situation?
I wish not, but if yes, get out of it, my friend!
Remember these points:
1. Know your self-worth:
You are beautiful. You deserve the love and attention of your partner. Don’t let anyone destroy your mental peace.
2. Don’t make yourself excessively available:
Making yourself excessively available to someone will not increase your worth in their eyes or guarantee that they will reciprocate your love.
On contrary,
It may cause them to take you for granted and not value your time and effort.
It can make you seem less attractive and desirable, which may decrease the likelihood of the person reciprocating your romantic feelings.
3. Accept the reality and move on:
Don’t keep yourself in dark because it will only prolong your pain of not being loved back.
Instead of denying the truth and making excuses to defend your situation, acknowledge that your love is one-sided. I know it is going to hurt you but it will help you in moving on.
4. Cut contacts from them
Yes, you read that right!
Don’t fool yourself by saying,
‘I don’t want to lose a friend. He or she is my very good friend, and I spoiled the friendship with my one-sided feelings. That’s why I can’t punish them by cutting my contact with them.’
Trust me, it’s impossible to get out of the unrequited feeling without distancing yourself from them.
5. Look forward to the future:
I once received a piece of exceptional advice from someone. It worked for me in all cases and all relationships.
I am going to give it to you today:
The solution to one MAN is another MAN!
Where MAN refers to HUMANS.
Don’t get me wrong, but in situations where love is not reciprocated, the best way to move on with your life is to,
Find someone else who loves you and love them back!
To sum up
Don’t be scared to accept the fact that your love is one-sided. Life doesn’t end with a person not loving you back. So, be confident that you will do better without them.
Because one-sided love brings you no joy instead, you feel rejected every day. This, in turn, lowers your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Cut all your contacts from them. It will be hard in the beginning but it will be for your good. This way, you will open doors for new opportunities and for people to love you.
Unrequited love may seem like the end, but it’s only the beginning of a journey toward self-discovery, growth, and the possibility of a love that is reciprocated.
That’s a Wrap!
You can also read a few of my best articles on love here:
- He Fell in Love After 10 Years
- A tragic saga that turned my friend into A man of Suspicious Character…
- Love Has Become A Strange Feeling For Me
- A love letter that a 14-year-old me wrote
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