One Easy Step To Stopping Online Harassment

Believe it or not, not all opinions deserve air on your platform

The Internet has given a voice to every person on the planet. Unfortunately, a lot of times, that person doesn’t wash their hands after they use the bathroom, and it shows in how they express themselves on social media platforms.

Somewhere along the line, we were convinced that, as moderators, we are obliged to allow everyone to express their opinions — even if those opinions are controversial or possibly offensive. So long as foul language was not used, anybody could pretty much say whatever they wanted.

And that turned your thoughtful Special Interest Group into a free-for-all.

Some history

This is not a new problem. Not by any stretch. I’ve been online since the 80s. We had the same issues with online trolls in BBS networks, Usenet, mailing lists, and commercial online services like CompuServe, Prodigy, and AOL.

Online toxic behavior has been around for as long as there has been an online platform.

Part of the problem was, before Facebook, people were actually encouraged to use online aliases. You didn’t use your real name or information for fear of online harassment becoming real-world harassment or becoming a victim of identity theft during a time when law enforcement had no idea how to address online crimes.

That meant a troll could hide behind a made-up name like DreamKillwr69 and be reasonably sure there would be no repercussions for the awful things they’d say or the harmful harassment they’d engage in or encourage others to participate in. At worst, they might have their account eventually deleted by a responsible system operator, but that would mean they’d come back again under another fake name. While some of us had tools to trace IP addresses and keep serial offenders at bay, not all system operators did. And many others just didn’t care.

It was generally Facebook’s insistence that only real names could be used for accounts meant that online trolls could no longer hide behind obscure screen names. You’d think that would have put an end to online trolling and harassment.

Yeah, that would have been nice.

The persistence of bad behavior

Outside of gaming networks, we pretty much exist online as digital extensions of our real selves. Some of those are still awful people. Even with identities fully known, there are still people who take great delight in upsetting or terrorizing others just for their own amusement.

I don’t get it either.

But ask around. Nearly every woman I know in every industry and hobby I’ve been involved with has stories of online harassment. Trans friends are maliciously attacked online and driven away. People of color are often made to feel unwelcome in many online spaces by self-appointed gatekeepers.

The Internet was supposed to be better than this — the reason it’s not is our fault. We’re not doing enough to put a stop to hate speech and harassment. And don’t look to Big Tech. Their solutions are often either half-hearted or ham-fisted.

It’s up to us.

A solution

It’s been a while since I last held a moderator position, and, surprisingly, I forgot this easy fix to toxic forum behavior. It took a recent Facebook post of a Twitter post that’s been circulating to remind me how easy it is to make a forum a more pleasant, supportive experience.

Boot the bastards out.

Here’s the post that made it so clear:

Briefly, for context, Pathfinder is a role-playing game similar to Dungeons & Dragons. Anyone aware of the gaming world knows that it suffers from its own brands of trolls, racists, misogynists, creeps, and other deplorables. It’s not that much different from many social groups. The gaming world — both electronic and traditional — has suffered a long time from toxic members.

People have been harassed, attacked, mocked, dismissed, doxed, and more through the various online forums that gamers use.

Then one Pathfinder group moderator decided enough was enough and that the Law didn’t cover protecting the right to be jerks.

So one by one, as each toxic online personality made itself known, they got kicked out, blocked, and banned.

And then a beautiful thing happened.

The forum began to be enjoyable again. Pathfinder players could return to discussing character builds, rule interpretations, and so forth without fear of being attacked because they were a liberal, or black, or a woman, or gay, or trans, or whatever. Voices could be heard again — voices of worth.

Now, wait a minute…

Am I saying that a homophobe or a sexist or other awful person doesn’t have the right to their say?

Maybe I am. What about it?

Look. Not all opinions are of equal value. And not all voices deserve to be heard. Voices that attack, harass, and encourage others to do the same?

No.

And it’s not against the law to feel this way. Freedom of speech laws only protect one from government interference in speech. In non-government forums? Hey, too bad. If I signed on to an incel forum and started talking about how much I think the reasons why these loser guys can’t get dates is because of their awful concepts of masculinity, they’d ban me before I could blink.

That’s their right. And I wouldn’t be surprised by that action.

So why give their opinions air on forums where that kind of behavior is toxic?

Excising toxic voices is right for you

Why do we let toxic voices invade our spaces?

Many of us were taught at an early age to respect everyone’s opinion. They never warned us how harmful some of those “opinions” can get.

We’re also often told to not insulate ourselves in a bubble. That we should be open to conflicting ideas, so we don’t stifle in our own echo chamber.

That’s fairer, but it just means being open to listening to conflicting ideas. It does not mean subjecting oneself to abuse or uncivil behavior. When that occurs, you are well within your rights to load that person into a catapult and fling them into the sea… figuratively.

And in terms of discussion forums such as Pathfinder gaming, tropical fish raising, Firefly fandom, religion, or whatever your group is into, you are under no obligation to let your forum, Facebook group, mailing list, church group, or whatever become a staging ground for abuse and hate.

None whatsoever.

A final word…

This isn’t about politics. It’s about civil behavior and acting like a decent human being. Liberal, conservative, or in the middle…no political stance frees you of the obligation to be a decent human being.

If you can’t play nice, you can’t play at all.

The rest of us are trying to have a society here.

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