ESSAY

On Auras and Empaths

How Energy Affects Me

From the time I was six years old, I have been able to see auras — colorful energy fields around people. Of course, I didn’t know what it was called when I was a child and I thought everyone could see them. I would go up to my mom and say things like, you are so blue today! To which she would reply, no I am happy today. To me, that’s what I meant. She didn’t understand. I would see certain people in church with beautiful purple auras and I just knew they were having a deep, spiritual experience. I could also tell when people were angry or sad by either black or greyish auras surrounding them. Newborns and toddlers glowed white, so brightly that it often made me squint when I looked at them.

I remember being so excited by what I saw, but when I told people, they looked at me strange and told me to leave them alone. Their auras would dim; I took this as a sign of confusion. If their auras changed colors, I took it as a sign of fear. It was then that I realized, not everyone could see auras and this was probably something I should keep to myself.

What initially made me feel special and unique, however, slowly became more of a curse. Over time, not only could I see people’s energy fields, but I could also feel their energy. Sometimes, the energies were exhilarating, positive and beautiful, much like the auras I would see surrounding them in bright yellows, pinks and blues. Other times, though, the energies would feel heavy and negative, like daggers being stabbed into my heart. These people would have black, grey or smoky auras. Either the positive or the negative energies could overwhelm me. I would often feel drained and would take to my bed to sleep for hours. During those early years, five to eight hours of sleep could recharge me. Later on, that wouldn’t be the case.

As my emphatic abilities grew throughout my teens and twenties, my ability to see auras began to wane — not permanently, just not as frequently. Newborns and toddlers still glowed white, spiritual people still glowed shades of purple, but unless someone was extremely happy or angry, I couldn’t easily read their auras. However, I felt their energy, often to the point of being crippled mentally and emotionally. I was already an introvert by this time, keeping mostly to myself, but by the time I was in my mid-thirties, I could no longer spend much time in crowds. Even trips to the grocery store left me emotionally exhausted for days. I slowly became a recluse, begging others to shop for me so I didn’t have to leave my house anymore than what was necessary. Eventually, I had to change shifts at my job, opting for the graveyard shift so I wouldn’t be around as many people. Bar scenes, movies, concerts, etc. were all out.

One day, I was hanging out with my best friend, who is also my Reiki Master. I told her what I was experiencing and she knew exactly what I was going through. She too was an empath and often felt the overwhelming, crippling effects of feeling too much. She went into her studio and returned with three pieces of jewelry — a citrine crystal wrapped in copper and fashioned as a necklace, and two bracelets of amethyst crystals. She told me that the citrine would absorb negative energy and since I was a Reiki practitioner doing occasional Reiki treatments, the amethysts would prevent me from absorbing my patients’ energy. She also instructed me to take epsom’s salt baths after being out among too many people and to use lavender essential oil in a defuser while I slept.

While I would love to report that the jewelry, epsom’s salt baths and the lavender oil cured me completely of too much drainage from other people’s energy, I cannot. However, all of it has helped to minimize the effects. I can once again attend larger settings and do my Reiki work without being completely drained. I think the stress of being depleted of my own energy is what prevented me from seeing auras around everyone. That ability has returned. And although I still get overwhelmed at times, I have a tool box to help me. Thankfully, because I wouldn’t trade my emapathic and aura-seeing abilities for a ‘normal’ life — whatever that means.

©2020 Lori Carlson. All rights reserved.

I want to thank Diana C for This Week’s Prompt: 22–28.06 — All things energy.

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Lori Carlson writes poetry, fiction, articles and personal essays. Most of her topics are centered around Relationships, Spirituality, Life Lessons, Mental Health, and the LGBTQ+ community. She currently writes for Loose Words,💜POM💜 , Illumination, The Friday Fix, House of Haiku, Know Thyself, Heal Thyself, The Purple Pen, Blue Insights, a Few Words, Invisible Illness and Tempest in Under 1000