Now, Now, Children. This Squabbling is Getting Us Nowhere

Let’s just try to be the grown-ups here, shall we?

I’m not a feather-plucker I’m a feather-plucker’s son. I’m only ruffling feathers till the feather-fucker cums.

That’s how the tongue-twister goes isn’t it?

Did I use a ‘U’ by mistake? Ah, but my ‘U’ replaced an ‘O’, it wasn’t in addition to it. So stop nit-picking Michael Burg, MD (AKA Medium Michael Burg)!

Did I drop in a fuck and a ruffle? That’s because I have been stimulated. And not in the good way.

Yes, those particular members of the male variety have been getting all testosterone-d up in their writing and trying to cause some fights.

First it was a war started by Gaurav Jain’s sexist bollocks.

Yes, I said “bollocks” Michael Burg, MD (AKA Medium Michael Burg). ’Cause that’s what we Brits do. And we say “wee”.

And then old MD Mike accused the likes of myself and a few others of using too many letters.

Has anyone noticed how many letters the geezer has put into his bloody name? Michael Burg, MD (AKA Medium Michael Burg)!!

Were you not just happy with the MD? You had to add AKA to try to look even cleverer and then added an extended version of your name again?

And you’re having a go because we are including the ‘U’ where it belongs in the likes of humour, labour and honour? And spelling words such as tyre, travelling and realise correctly, unlike you poor sods who need to get all phonetic because that’s how far your elementary education got you?

That’s primary education for us Brits, by the way.

I have realiSed that I need to keep a close ‘i’ eye (aye aye cap’n) on these two, too, now that they have proven that they are out to make trouble, no matter what.

It starts with the feather-ruffling and it goes onto the feather-plucking and then the feather-fucking in a matter of days, if not hours.

I have now been mentioned on both Medium and Twitter by these guys a total of 76 times in less than a week. And that’s just me.

There are many others besides who have fallen into the devious feather-ruffling traps of these two. These guys too, just for starters:

KiKi Walter, Preeti Ramachandran, Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, Drashti Shroff, Scott Younkin, Barb Dalton, Uvebruce, Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox, Alan Simpson, Art Bram, Tamil, Cypriano Mokobia, Yana Bostongirl, Trista Signe Ainsworth, Anjali Joshi, Dr. Preeti Singh, Purbita Chakraborty, Pene Hodge, Rane Kelze, Umme Salama, Libby Shively McAvoy, Monoreena Acharjee Majumdar, Bingz Huang.

Well, I am here to tell you both to grow up. Trouble-makers like the two of you are what give us plenty of content to write about…I mean, what brings the tone down around here.

Some of us have had enough toddlers to deal with in our lives.

Yours,

Queen Spelling Bee Sally Prag

PS. I put my SHOPPING in the BOOT of my car and the engine lives under the BONNET.

PPS. Aluminium.

PPPS. Here’s a great retaliation by Uvebruce in the war of the languages:

Oh, and if you'd like to be a sport, old chap/chapess, do feel free to join Medium through my referral link and support all your favoUrite writers. Obviously, if you aren't already a member ;)