The 2019 NFL League Pass Rankings, Part II — The Top 16
The 16 most enjoyable teams in the NFL, with the league’s most exciting young quarterbacks at the top of the list…
SIX WEEKS INTO THE 2019 NFL SEASON, WE ARE STARTING TO GET A LITTLE PICKIER WITH OUR NFL VIEWING. October is peak sports SZN, and the NFL is now competing with the MLB playoffs, WNBA Finals, college football, NBA preseason, NHL, soccer, and more. The NFL is still king, but it’s impossible to watch everything.
Enter the NFL League Pass rankings. Which NFL teams get top billing, and who is barely even worth a watch? Rajan Nanavati and I ranked every team’s watchability to help you prioritize. The Redskins and Giants were last and the Chiefs finished at the top, but where did everyone in between fall?
If you missed it, be sure to check out Part I with the bottom 16 teams. Here’s a quick refresher for teams ranked 32 to 17…
THE BOTTOM 16 TEAMS
TIER X — EVEN THE HOMERS WON’T WATCH
32. Washington Football Men
TIER IX — THE RECENTLY FALLEN
31. New York Giants
TIER VIII — I MEAN, SURE, I GUESS IT’S FOOTBALL…
30. Denver Broncos 29. Miami Dolphins 28. Cincinnati Bengals 27. New York Jets 26. Tennessee Titans 25. Detroit Lions
TIER VII — INTERESTING, BUT NOT NECESSARILY IN A GOOD WAY
24. Pittsburgh Steelers 23. Oakland Raiders 22. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 21. Carolina Panthers
TIER VI — GOOD FOOTBALL ISN’T ALWAYS INTERESTING
20. Chicago Bears 19. Seattle Seahawks 18. Buffalo Bills 17. Atlanta Falcons
TIER V — THE INTRIGUING 2019 SLEEPERS
16. Jacksonville Jaguars 15. San Francisco 49ers 14. Indianapolis Colts
BA
MINSHEW MANIA!!! What are we doing burying the Jaguars at 16? Gardner Minshew II is here. It’s Minshew SZN and we’re all just living in it. Is this how The Good Place’s Jason Mendoza always felt about Blake Bortles?
RN
I’m worthless when it comes to TV references; the only “Mendoza” I know has to do with batting averages.
It does feel like we’ve badly under-ranked the Jaguars, almost entirely because of Gardner Flint Minshew II, though I haven’t sold my bungalow on Fournette Island yet. I do think the emergence of his young wide receivers, D.J. Chark and Chris Conley, is overlooked amidst Minshew Mania, but the jolt he’s given that offense is beyond palpable.
BA
Speaking of jolts, how about those undefeated 49ers? They laid an absolute beatdown on the Browns last night. I’m enjoying the ride but simultaneously annoyed after throwing all my eggs into their breakout basket last season and getting burned when everyone got hurt, then ignoring them this year even though I adore Kyle Shanahan. The 49ers are good and fun and also good.
RN
I think San Francisco is flying under the teams-we’ve-anointed-as-good radar at the moment. And it feels like a matter of time before we’re talking about Frank Reich as one of the very best coaches in the league.
BA
Well we’ll certainly be talking about Frank Reich this week. Indianapolis rolling into Kansas City and shutting down the Chiefs was probably the most shocking outcome of the season.
Who knew it could be so entertaining to watch an offensive line maul an opponent? Maybe football wasn’t so bad in the 50s after all. Cris Collinsworth called Colts guard Quenton Nelson one of the most watchable players in the league. Dude straight up dominated the game, and Marlon Mack was so patient waiting for his line, gashing the Chiefs for 7 and 8 yards a pop. The Colts put the fun in fundamentals!
TIER IV — THE FLAWED SUPER BOWL CONTENDERS
13. Los Angeles Chargers 12. Minnesota Vikings 11. Philadelphia Eagles 10. Los Angeles Rams
RN
Okay Brandon, if I were to inject you with truth serum and ask you about the Kirk Cousins experience in Minnesota, what sentiments would you reveal in your chemical-induced state?
BA
I suspect there would be a lot of curse words involved. Probably 84 million of them — guaranteed.
Look, I’m no Cousins apologist, but this was always what we were getting: someone in the Matthews Ryan and Stafford tier who was good enough with help around him. And this line and system are not giving him help.
But Dalvin Cook is. He’s gotta be one of the five most exciting non-QBs to watch in the league right now. I think I’d rather watch him play football than any other player on these four teams. Who’s in your top five?
RN
Great question. My five appointment viewing non-QBs would probably be Aaron Donald, Alvin Kamara, Odell Beckham Jr., Myles Garrett, and Jamal Adams. Six months ago, I’d have swapped Adams for Derwin James — I’m fascinated by safeties.
While I take no joy in your football pain, I’m thriving on the schadenfreude of Cousins’s failure in Minnesota after he spent the last two years whining about how he felt underappreciated in Washington. It’s one of the very few times a DC sports team made a major decision about a player’s future that turned out to be the right one.
BA
Ehh. I’m still fine with the Cousins signing. It was the right move at the time. Top 10 quarterbacks aren’t available unless you draft them. And usually not even then.
Just ask the Rams. Everyone’s so busy piling on Cousins it’s like they already forgot the Rams just signed Jared Goff to a $134-million extension that hasn’t even kicked in yet! Would you rather owe Cousins $30 mil or Goff $134,000,000? It’s worth typing out just for effect.
And lest we forget, the Rams traded SIX picks for Goff, then chose him over the best September quarterback in the world, my guy Carson Wentz. Whenever I get too frustrated with Kirk “Kissing” Cousins, I just put my Wentz jersey on and count his championship rings again.
RN
Wentz was the QB I watched closely his first year and believed with everything I had that this guy was going to be as good as Aaron Rodgers. I respect the hell out of his skill set and hate that he plays for an NFC East rival.
BA
Love you forever Carson. Except this week. Even if I wear your jersey at the game, I still bleed purple.
TIER III — AMERICA’S TEAMS
9. Dallas Cowboys 8. New England Patriots 7. Arizona Cardinals 6. New Orleans Saints 5. Green Bay Packers
RN
I would genuinely rather lick a truck stop toilet seat than say anything nice about the Dallas Cowboys.
BA
Something something, Herschel Walker, grumble… Let’s just say I’m not exactly the world’s biggest Cowboys fan either. But there’s no denying this team is fun now that Kellen Moore brought them into the 21st century. Dak Prescott gets the freedom Russell Wilson can only dream of.
Dallas may not be America’s team anymore, but there’s just something aesthetically pleasing about watching Joe Buck call a big Cowboys game. The league is better when Dallas is relevant. We won’t get too many more big Aaron Rodgers showdowns in Jerry World.
RN
Agree to disagree. The world would be a better place if we brokered world peace, ended world hunger, and the Dallas Cowboys went 0–16 every single year.
And Green Bay? I’ll fully admit my bias: Aaron Rodgers is my favorite non-Redskin in the NFL.
BA
As a Vikings fan, I’m not allowed to like Rodgers. But he’s absolutely incredible and remains the most gifted QB I’ve ever watched, at least pre-Mahomes. Rodgers is my NFL version of Albert Pujols. Rival or not, you have to respect greatness.
The Saints are a little depressing to watch right now, but at least they still have Alvin Kamara. I’m sad for Captain Four Yards Teddy, but I’ve been sad about him for years. At least now we know to appreciate Drew Brees once he’s back.
RN
Even without Brees, I still think the Saints are highly enjoyable. You could do a lot worse than Teddy Two-Gloves as a backup. Every so often, I wake up in a pool of cold sweat imagining a universe where Sean Payton returns home to Dallas and finishes his career there.
Some may question how Arizona could rank so high on this list, but I’m intrigued by the Cardinals. Although, it’s mostly because I’m curious whether history will look back on Kyler Murray as Russell Wilson minus the intangibles or as a rich man’s Seneca Wallace.
BA
You say you’re intrigued, but you ranked the Cards 13th vs 5th for me. I’m so here for the Kyler and Kliff show. Who knows if it will work, but it’s fun to watch each week and find out. Add in David Johnson and no defense to speak of, and that’s just fun Big XII football.
We’re also opposite on the Patriots, who I ranked 16th. They’ve been the exact same team for two decades, they beat everyone in the most predictable way possible, and we already know we have to watch them in January. Why do I want to watch them now?
You ranked the Patriots SECOND??! Explain yourself.
RN
Like the brain’s hemispheres, every fan has two sides. There’s the irrationally emotional side, like when I celebrated the 2007 Patriots losing the Super Bowl, even to a team I utterly despise. Then there’s the pragmatically logical side that sees what the Patriots do on a weekly basis and marvels at the excellence.
Bill Belichick’s football acumen, ability to put people in position to succeed (unlike so many coaches jamming the proverbial square peg in a round hole), and unfathomable level of detail all lead to him fielding a product nothing short of football mastery. I love that no two game plans are the same, and that when the rest of the league is zigging, he finds new ways to zag.
Belichick started incorporating the college spread a decade ago. He made the two-tight-end offense with Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez virtually unstoppable. His offenses always find ways to use dual-threat running backs to his advantage. And now when the rest of the league goes pass-heavy, Belichick doubles down on a power running game.
Am I tired of them winning? Absolutely. Do I hate the smugness with which Tom Brady carries himself? Damn skippy. But it’s hard not to appreciate the PhD level of football New England plays… even if I’m rooting for them to lose every week.
BA
Uhh… sure. I’m gonna let you towel off before the next section.
TIER II — THERE’S GONNA BE FIREWORKS
4. Cleveland Browns 3. Houston Texans 2. Baltimore Ravens
BA
This is the next generation of quarterbacks, and I think that’s where all the excitement stems from. We may not know what we’ll get from Baker Mayfield, Deshaun Watson, or Lamar Jackson any given week, but we know it’ll be a lot of fun.
You just had your first child, Raj. Would you trade your firstborn to bring one of these guys to the Redskins, and which one would you choose?
RN
I’ll fully admit to being that parent who already thinks his child is amazing, so there’s no chance I’d trade her in any such situation… especially because the Redskins would still manage to screw it up anyway.
But if I’m choosing one? It’s Deshaun Watson, and it’s not even close. The idea that Mitchell Trubisky was more coveted than Watson in the 2017 draft is an indictment of the entire scouting process. His combination of natural talent, playmaking, passing, work ethic, and leadership surpasses the others.
BA
I agree with Watson, but I’d give Baker a long look. Boy would it be nice if we could get these young stud QBs an offensive line to protect them. We are a couple years away from the top five QBs in football being Mahomes, Wilson, Wentz, and two of these guys. Keep them healthy!
Jackson is the most exciting to watch because of his Michael Vick running ability. He’s the one you pick on Madden. Baker is the best traditional QB. I’m not sure he’s ready yet, and his line is terrible, but he’s going to be a stud. But Watson has the highest single-game ceiling. There’s no question those three are the reason these teams are so high in our rankings. We’re lucky to watch any of them.
RN
By the time you got done reading this, Baker Mayfield signed another endorsement deal. If you’re keeping count, Mayfield has more ongoing commercial endorsements (State Farm, Hulu, and probably something else) than on-field wins in 2019. Beware the fame monster.
BA
Haters gonna hate. If you got it, flaunt it.
TIER I — THE REIGNING LEAGUE PASS CHAMPIONS
1. Kansas City Chiefs
RN
The Chiefs are #1. Was there ever any question?
Why is everyone fussing with this raid Area 51 nonsense? If you want proof of a superior race of aliens existing among humans, look no further than Patrick Mahomes. There’s really no other explanation. Someone genuinely needs to check if Mahomes is from Krypton.
BA
I have the Chiefs saved as Always Record on my DVR. It’s just Red Zone, the Vikings, and the Chiefs. I’d watch play Patrick Mahomes play football every day the rest of my life. He has become the NFL version of Stephen Curry for me. Matching Mahomes do what he was created by God to do better than any human in history just makes me happy.
2019 sucks in a lot of different ways, but we still get to watch Steph and Mahomes break their respective games. And you know what? We deserve this.
RN
Anybody who saw Curry at Davidson knew he was something special, size be damned. Unless of course your name is David Kahn. Or apparently Brandon.
If you did an “Old Takes Exposed” on my 2017 NFL Draft thoughts, I thought Mahomes was the most overrated quarterback in the draft. I didn’t think his ability to run around and create something spectacular out of nothing every play like he did against Big 12 defenses would translate. Clearly, I was wrong.
It’s maybe the most egregious “L” I’ve taken in my NFL Draft punditry. Even worse than calling Saquon Barkley a “rich man’s CJ Spiller.” But I’ll happily admit I was wrong about Mahomes, because the league is in a much better place with him doing his thing.
BA
Get well soon, Pat. If you still need an ankle, you can have mine. ■
Follow Brandon on Medium or @wheatonbrando for more sports, television, humor, and culture. Visit the rest of Brandon’s writing archives here.
Rajan Nanavati is the editor of HailToTheDistrict.com. You can follow Rajan on Twitter, find the HailToTheDistrict Podcast here, or view his writing archives.
