News Flash: Social Distancing and Quarantine Ain’t Any Easier For Introverts Than Extroverts

Introverts are having as many problems handling social distancing as extroverts the problems are just different

I was texting with a friend earlier today and she said something that surprised me.

“You’re so lucky you’re an introvert. That’s got to make this whole social distancing thing a cinch for you. Bet you’re loving it, huh?’

My first thought was, What an odd thing to say. My second thought was, I’m an introvert, not a hermit.

To be fair, my friend is an extreme extrovert and she is having a really tough time of it. She loves being in the center of the action, any action, so self-isolation given she lives alone, is really getting to her. I think she was just assuming that it might be a bit easier for me to be isolated than it is for her since she knows I need quiet time away from people after spending a lot of time around others. But this is different from always wanting to be by myself.

Regardless of whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, this health crisis is something none of us had experience with or saw coming. It has changed the way we live and what we are able to do on a fundamental level. This means that there are characteristics of the situation that may be harder for extroverts to cope with but there are also characteristics that are likely harder for introverts to deal with.

Why Introverts Aren’t Having It Any Easier Than Extroverts

The main difference between introverts and extroverts has to do with focus. Introverts are inwardly focused while extroverts focus their attention outwardly. Introverts are more introspective and attentive to internal thoughts. Extroverts crave external stimulation.

Similarly, introverts tend to get their energy primarily from within themselves. Extroverts get their energy externally, from people and things outside themselves. This doesn’t mean that introverts primarily thrive when they are off by themselves, however.

I think part of the confusion related to introverts and isolation has to do with confusing introversion and shyness. Shyness is usually a type of social anxiety so it has negative components. Introversion isn’t the result of anxiety. Whereas shy people often worry about things like whether others will like them or accept them, this is not typically the case with introverts.

Shy people or those who are socially anxious may feel like going out and mixing with people is expected of them and so they may force themselves to do this but they don’t enjoy it and much prefer to be home by themselves. This is because when they are alone there is no one there to judge them. Shy people may be having an easier time with social distancing because now what’s expected is for people to stay home and stay apart from each other.

The idea that introverts don’t like being around other people is a myth. They enjoy being with others as much as extroverts do, just not all the time and perhaps not with as many people.

While the quality of introverts’ social relationships is just as high as that of extroverts, the fact that they have a smaller group of friends may have an impact on their ability to adjust adjusting to this situation. Since extroverts tend to have larger social circles, that might make a difference in the degree to which they are affected by major crises.

With bigger networks, extroverts may have more people to turn to who can provide comfort and social support. With less people to commiserate with, introverts may have less support than extroverts do which is the most crucial coping strategy for protecting us from the effects of stress.

It may also be the case that extroverts have an easier time reaching out to others when in need of support and comfort. Part of this could be due to introverts being more self sufficient, independent and used to relying on themselves to take care of their needs.

Extroverts may be more flexible in the ways they ask for help, equally comfortable with real time interactions, and interactions through social media, texts, emails and video calls. Introverts may be more limited in the manner in which they choose to communicate with others preferring in person face to face conversations. This is another factor that can lead to introverts having less support than extroverts especially during a period when they are required to be isolated from others.

Another factor that may play a role in how introverts are reacting to social distancing is that introverts think deeply about things. They tend to be in their own heads more than extroverts. They examine information from every direction and consider each possibility at length.

Sometimes they also may overthink things, giving something too much consideration to the point they begin to ruminate. Given the serious nature of what is happening — I live in Chicago and they are predicting we’ll be the next hot spot for the virus so I know this first hand — this tendency to always think things through at length can increase anxiety significantly.

So all told, just because introverts seem to enjoy time to themselves doesn’t mean that they enjoy keeping separate from others. The time they spend alone is often time they need to recharge their batteries after social interactions. This doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy being with others, they do. It’s just that it saps their energy. But during these times they need others as much as extroverts do, and they may have more trouble connecting with their social network under the current conditions of social distancing and isolation.

What Can Introverts Do to Make Social Distancing Easier?

Just like extroverts, introverts need time with other people. Making sure to keep in contact with others is extremely important. It will help keep us grounded and provide some relief from the anxiety that we may experience from continuous reflection on what is happening.

Sharing our fears and concerns will help us cope by letting us see we are not alone and others are experiencing the same type of anxiety we are. This is something that extroverts can also benefit from.

Taking time to ourselves is just as relevant now as it was before this outbreak started. As the time spent in quarantine increases, people will reach out to each other more and more. Already my phone rings often and the dinging sound that notified me that I’ve received a text has become so frequent that I finally turned it off as the seemingly constant demand for me to engage with people was making me a bit crazy.

While we need to interact with others, we also need to determine when to step back and take time to ourselves. I’ve found that deciding on specific times to turn my notifications back on can help me gain the social connections that I need while keeping this under control and maintaining a comfortable pace.

Take Away

The truth is this situation isn’t easy for anyone, and being an introvert or extrovert doesn’t give you any extra ability to cope with a situation none of us anticipated until we were in the middle of it. We just have to rely on those characteristics that we have that are most conducive to adjusting to a new world. But there are things that both introverts and extroverts can do to make it easier to get through this situation.

No matter what your personality type, it’s important to stay connected with others while we continue to be forced to practice social distance. Research shows that the more conversations we have, the happier we tend to be, regardless of whether we are introverts or extroverts. We are all social animals and we weren’t meant to live life isolated from each other. The trick is to find the ways for engaging with others that are comfortable for you.

For introverts this may mean scheduling certain times so that we have enough time to ourselves to recharge before starting another interaction. For extroverts it may mean spending time interacting with people on the phone, through emailing and texts or on social media. Whereas introverts may prefer not to be constantly interrupted with social requests, extroverts will often drop what they’re doing to interact with someone.

No matter what your preference may be, it is important to establish enough contact with each other to gain the right amount of social support for ourselves as well as to offer similar comfort to others. This will go a long way towards helping us adjust to these trying circumstances and enable us to come through with as little difficulty as possible.

Natalie Frank has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and often writes op-eds about health related current events. She is an editor for The Partnered Pen & One Table, One World and is Editor in Chief for Promposity & Mental Gecko, both of which she created. She is also the Managing Editor for Novellas and Serials at LVP Publications. Her collection of poetry, Disguised I Breathe, In Love I Hold, can be found here on Amazon.

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