New Medium Policy Requires One “How to Make Money On Medium” Story and Ten Haiku Per Month From Writers

Medium is striving to be the most well rounded source of content on the internet. To meet this goal, we have analyzed the number of different kinds of stories on Medium since the beginning of the year to determine if we need more posts of a particular type or on a particular topic. We have determined that there are two types of posts that we don’t have enough of on the site currently.

The first of these, is stories about making money on Medium. The second type is haiku.

To ensure that we have enough of these two types of posts, Medium is implementing a new policy. From the month of November 2019 on, every writer on the platform will be required to publish at least one story on the topic of how you made money on Medium or if you have yet to make any, how you intend to make money on Medium. You will also be required to publish at least ten haiku.

Stories about making money on the platform can discuss any way you managed this goal. In addition to, “How I Made/Intend to Make Money on Medium,” possible variations can include, “How I Made More Money on Medium/More About How I Intend to Make Money on Medium,” and “How I Made Even More Money on Medium/Yet More About How I Intend to Make Money on Medium.” The subtopic, “How I Made Money Writing Ten Haiku a Month on Medium,” is also permissible.

These articles can be written from a first or third person perspective, but must include the actual experience of the writer. Haiku can be about any topic including, “Making Money on Medium,” providing they consist of the traditional 5–7–5 syllable pattern.

Should you be unable to fulfill these obligations for any reason, you will be required to complete a form requesting an exception. Please familiarize yourself with the form before November so you will be aware of what excuses are accepted. The form is printed below.

Request for Exception to Medium’s Mandatory Post Publication Policy

Please check the appropriate box/boxes explaining why you were unable to meet the minimum requirement for this month. (Any outstanding articles or poems must be completed by the end of next month along with those required for the month.)

I could not complete the “How to Make Money on Medium,” story this month because:

1. I was too sick to work (Doctor’s note required attesting to the fact that you couldn’t work for at least three quarters of the month. A week is long enough for you to complete it. Since you are not an employee of Medium, you have no sick leave and will be required to make up any articles not written on time due to sickness.)
2. Every time I tried to write it, I became sick (Therapist’s note required with expected time until cured. If this is longer than a month you may not be allowed to write on the site until you are better.)
3. I am a multimillionaire and therefore couldn’t care less about making money on Medium (Note: This is not an excuse. We will give you a pass for one month in case you really didn’t know. After that, you will be required to publish at least one of these articles a month like everyone else. Just because you don’t need it, doesn’t mean that others don’t. Given you have managed to either make or at least manage to maintain a balance of multi-millions suggests you have some kind of smarts that others might benefit from. We expect you to share it.)
4. My dog ate my article for this month (Providing you can provide proof that you have a dog and have a vet’s note, we will make an exception based on this reason once.)
5. My grandparent died. (Our condolences, but why does that mean you can’t write for a month?)
6. Other (Please explain):

I could not complete my required number of haiku this month because:

1. I was in a coma (Note: General sickness is not an acceptable reason for not making your haiku quota. This reason is allowable only if you were in a coma for the entire month. Otherwise, you will be expected to complete all ten. Come on, they’re only 17 syllables each!)
2. I thought haiku was singular so I figured I only had to write one (Really? Despite “ten” being clearly written before “haiku”? In Japanese, nouns do not have different singular and plural forms. And yes, we do know that almost no one would write in Japanese on this platform, but “haiku” is used as both a singular and plural noun in English as well so just get over it! We’ll err on the side of leniency the first time in case you really are that stupid. After that you’ll be penalized for not publishing the required number.)
3. I am not Japanese and shouldn’t have to write Japanese poems (Yeah? Tough! We’ll give you a one month pass but after that we don’t care where you’re from!)
4. I am not a poet/I hate poetry and I shouldn’t have to write it. (Once again, tough. Surely, you can manage 17 syllables. One month leeway.)
5. I can’t count to 17. (You have one month to find someone who can.)
6. Other (Please explain):

Your form will be reviewed by Medium staff and the decision will be emailed to you within two weeks. All decisions are final and any subsequent arguments will result in you being banned from the site.

Writers who fail to meet the monthly requirements without an approved excuse will be given one warning. After that they will be banned from the site. We look forward to reading all of your wonderful new stories and haiku next month!

Thanks to David Caracciolo for the inspiration for this piece.

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You can find links to my other work on Medium and follow me here. Thanks for reading!