avatarPhilip Ogley

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

1755

Abstract

/p><figure id="fc63"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*H1xJSp9oNu8uao3h7MElJA.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="9efc">You feverishly press CONTINUE.</p><figure id="0596"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*PnA1e-oqSQ03oFaBCuSJ1g.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="a116">Phew! You know this one, as you were going to copy and paste the entire article into Jarvis. Then rename it</p><p id="5efe" type="7">World Hunger — I Have The Answers!</p><p id="af4e">You press CONTINUE.</p><figure id="cb84"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*eR8EvvihyMIR5ntvyYPQUQ.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="ce91">You’ve absolutely no idea, and you promise to stop commenting on pieces you haven’t read.</p><p id="2459">Then you have a better idea. You whip out your phone and find the article. Ha! Bet they didn’t think of that. Idiots!</p><figure id="ab7b"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*NcyR5ulpzozUOwSmMUJubg.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="fbc3">You're just about to fill in the answers like the cheating scum you are…when —</p><figure id="350f"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*EIVxUMRdqWh1n1wS5hYfUA.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="862a">Thanks for contemplating this future. For more unlikely scenarios</p><div id="4999" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/new-medium-feature-live-earnings-5b74440ff77f"> <div> <div> <h2>New Medium Feature: Live Earnings!</h2> <div><h3>Let’s cut out the bullshit</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div>

Options

  </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*AguI2pMaASZQ_eEOJ8hsxg.jpeg)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><div id="94f4" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://readmedium.com/i-want-to-sit-next-to-hogan-torah-82c095ddbd91">
        <div>
          <div>
            <h2>I Want To Sit Next To Hogan Torah</h2>
            <div><h3>How to get close to your hero</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*nOgLaV98sI9gYcUYAogo5Q.jpeg)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><div id="7b64" class="link-block">
      <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-only-fruit-you-should-be-eating-this-autumn-if-you-dont-want-to-die-94e86b1c7372">
        <div>
          <div>
            <h2>The Only Fruit You Should Be Eating This Autumn — If You Don’t Want to Die!</h2>
            <div><h3>Why the apple is the big cheese</h3></div>
            <div><p>medium.com</p></div>
          </div>
          <div>
            <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*SngeXAnPZGDn1RIWXCdk9g.jpeg)"></div>
          </div>
        </div>
      </a>
    </div><p id="a42b">More madness?</p><figure id="e7a0"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*MqIsTzSHRhDfi6sU.jpeg"><figcaption>Brand art courtesy of <a href="https://davidtoddmccarty.medium.com/">David Todd McCarty</a></figcaption></figure></article></body>

Amazing New Medium features

New Medium Feature #2: Exam Time

Did you really read my piece?

Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

You’ve just read a piece called

I Have The Answers to World Hunger

You’re about to leave a comment. Something unoriginal like this

(All Images/Medium/Author)

When this pops up

What the Fuck! What’s this? Some New Medium Feature?

You’ve no idea. So you switch back to the article but your screen has been locked. Sweat runs down your face —

You press YES wishing you’d actually read the article instead of setting it to auto-scroll while you loaded your crack pipe.

You feverishly press CONTINUE.

Phew! You know this one, as you were going to copy and paste the entire article into Jarvis. Then rename it

World Hunger — I Have The Answers!

You press CONTINUE.

You’ve absolutely no idea, and you promise to stop commenting on pieces you haven’t read.

Then you have a better idea. You whip out your phone and find the article. Ha! Bet they didn’t think of that. Idiots!

You're just about to fill in the answers like the cheating scum you are…when —

Thanks for contemplating this future. For more unlikely scenarios

More madness?

Brand art courtesy of David Todd McCarty
Satire
Medium
Humor
Comedy
Muddyum
Recommended from ReadMedium