Never Be Afraid To Reintroduce The Brand New You

My past doesn't define who I am now

A life prompt in collaboration with Yana Bostongirl of Coffee Times Life column

Others thought there was no way in hell it would have ended. I, too, was delusional; It was a match made in heaven.

Ending a 25-year affair was not only emotional; moving on was the most challenging part of it all. The days, months, and years that followed were the most difficult.

We mingled with colleagues and close friends. I even stood by his side at public events — mindful of those who knew his other half.

But as the years went by, hiding our affair had become less of a secret — a game we would eventually stop playing.

A medical doctor, married with two children, and me, a young rising corporate administrator, mother of a 5-year-old who had separated from her clergyman husband, caught in a love triangle like no other.

What began at an innocent lunch—a show of his appreciation for a professional kind deed I'd done, became a bonded friendship within months.

Even after moving out of his marital home, we may not have lived under one roof, but our relationship felt like the kind man and wife shared.

How immoral and wrong — I was in a relationship with someone's husband.

But looking back, I never saw it that way. I was young, vulnerable, and yearned for happiness. It never occurred to me that I was hurting others.

“If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can’t know better until knowing better is useless” — John Green

Moving on was my only option.

One day, I had reasons to step back and do a complete retrospect of myself. It was then that I decided I no longer wanted to live that kind of life.

Some things weren’t meant to be.

We ended our relationship.

My past might have left me ashamed. It has cast a dark cloud over my name. Some may continue to see me as that other woman or even call me names.

We live and learn; we're human.

"Good people make mistakes and hurt others, then learn from the mistakes and try not to make them again" — Bob Anderson.

My mistakes no longer define me. I'm not the person I used to be.

But moving on wasn't always easy — a cloud of guilt hung over me — I couldn't forgive myself and even swore I'd done with relationships. But,

"There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world, because you realize there is so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on" — Zayn Malik.

You, too, may have negative aspects of your past; they may be preventing you from living the life you truly deserve.

I met this young man recently; he confided in me. At 28, his past even included time in jail. But he has since turned his life around — earned a college degree, and has good intentions to live a different life. Yet his past torments him daily.

There are days when your past will get in the way of your happiness. So here are some comforting words to dispel them—

"Let all your mistakes become your sails and rudders, not your anchors" — Sotelo M Lopez.

When you do the work to reinvent yourself, never allow your past to hold you ramson and stagnate your growth or get in the way of your happiness.

Others will judge and criticize you. As a result, you may feel like an imposter with every step you make towards a new beginning.

There is no doubt that some circumstances are more challenging comebacks. But don't allow your mistakes to bear vengeance on the new person you have become.

Forgive yourself and heal from the hurt and pain you have caused yourself and others.

Be confident with clarity on your new forward path.

Recognize the person you have become; only then you’ll be recognized by others.

When you’ve found your true self, you must not be afraid to shine your light the brightest for others to see you.

Today, I live my life without fear or shame, armed with lessons from my past.

I embrace every aspect of my journey, knowing I cannot change my already trod path, but I can make different steps into the future.

Getting married at 17 has helped me to identify the qualities I need in my personal relationships. I’m confident in my own skin.

A wrong business decision helps me recognize what to look for in business partners. I can now stand up for myself without compromising my self-worth, and integrity even when the odds are against me — I’ve become mindful that the easiest route isn't always the best option when making choices and even tough decisions.

My long affair has taught me the importance of respecting lawful unions. Therefore, I advise young women never to get involved with married men.

I erred along the way, but I have inherited a reservoir filled with valuable lessons to share with others.

I am a better woman today from my wrongs.

Today I stand with confidence as I reintroduce who I am.

I'm Donnette Lorraine Anglin

Would you join me and reintroduce yourself too?

Has your past kept you from moving forward to live your best life? Maybe it is a mistake you have made that won't go away. Could it be one of those situations that have prevented you from succeeding or growing the way you should? Are you bound by imposter syndrome even though you are a changed person?

I invite you to share your stories in this prompt collaboration by Yana and myself.

Don't forget to tag Life and Coffee Times in your stories.

Also, tag Yana Bostongirl and me, Donnette Anglin(adding this article), and invite other writers to share their stories.

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