Who am I?

I only started to live when I found the answer.

I felt controlled. I accepted it then as a way of life.

Until one day, it just didn't feel right.

Who am I?

I struggled to answer this critical but straightforward question earlier in my life.

Not knowing yourself feels like you're being robbed of your identity.

I got married at 17. Our new Clergyman was a good catch. Not only was he handsome, but he had a unique personality. The 12years age difference between us didn't seem significant. But looking back, I was just an innocent child who felt special by his attention. I yearned for a love that was missing at home with my parents.

Our eyes connected the first Sunday he was introduced at our local church.

We soon became close and were going to events outside our local circle. But, despite what others thought of it then, our relationship was pure and platonic — We simply enjoyed each other's company.

That didn't stop the community from tongue-wagging.

It didn't look right for the local Pastor to be seen in public with a pretty young girl through their eyes.

I felt pressured into marrying him.

I was made leader in a role well beyond my age.

Becoming a preacher's wife was a big responsibility. I had to be an example to the local community and the ladies at church; many of whom were older, with a set of beliefs.

My life was under scrutiny — tailored by the standards of a church community.

The truth is, I'd become lost not only in their expectations of me, but people-pleasing became my life.

I didn't have a personal identity or vision for myself.

I’d soon realized this wasn't the life I wanted to live.

So, seven years in, I stood up for myself and ended my marriage.

I'd later realized that you exist but do not truly live until you know who you are.

“Care about what others think and you will always be their prisoner” — Lao Tzu

Who am I?

Like me, you probably have asked yourself this question but are unable to find your true answer.

You may be one of many who are living the illusion of others.

Today I want to share how I found the trueness that released me from the bandage of others' expectations and people-pleasing to living in my true purpose.

Ready?

Let's go!

Find yourself a quiet space. It will help you to concentrate.

Now, ask yourself these questions. Be honest with yourself—

Who am I when no one is watching?

Who am I when no one's listening?

Who am I when I'm alone with my thoughts?

Who am I without the accolades behind my name — the degrees, job titles,.and how society perceives me?

Who am I without the compliment of fancy adornments — clothes, jewelry, and make-up?

Who are you without the big house, expensive cars, and the large sum in your bank account?

This simple exercise has helped me find my trueness.

You’ll realize your true self is not infringed on anything outside of self.

Today, I no longer paused or fumbled to answer this fundamental question.

I don't live my life by others' standards or expectations.

I choose every day to live in my trueness.

Until you've found your trueness; you'll never start living your purpose.

Shout out to Liberty Forrest, Author, for the vulnerable piece she wrote on her birthday. "I'll Give Anything For a Time Machine Right Now." I wish Liberty had the strength I had earlier in life to find her way.

You won't regret giving this piece a read.