How My Biggest Mistakes Became My Lessons For Growth

Every mistake is an opportunity to learn something

I was a mistake since conception. This is what I jokingly tell people about my origin story.

Truth be told, I’m the product of an affair my mom had while she was married. I learned to live with this knowledge for much of my life.

Years later, I grew up and made my own mistakes — Getting married at 17 was the first big one. I’d never been in a prior relationship. I remember being scared about going to bed the first night after the wedding. The thought of sharing a bed with a man was frightening. I ultimately got divorced from that relationship.

Then another bad decision—I got involved with a married man. The relationship lasted many years. We became so attached, but we eventually came to our senses and ended it.

Soon I was a pro at making mistakes and again made a big one in the initial two years of my business. I lost a lot of money, but by then, I knew what I needed to do to correct and resolve the situation.

These are just a few of the major mistakes I’d make that I vividly remember.

Good people make mistakes too.

There is no magical remedy for healing from the mistakes you’ve made. The magnitude and effect of your mistakes determine the level of consequence you'll face and the steps to healing.

But what is true, everyone makes mistakes. Good people make mistakes too. Some will run away or pretend it never happened, but good people always know the right thing to do — They stay the course, make right their wrongs, and set themselves apart from others.

Dave Willis has some comforting words —” Your mistakes don’t define your character. What you choose to do after your mistakes makes all the difference.”

Mistakes hurt

I wish I could tell you mistakes don't hurt. Some will hurt much more than others, but they all leave us wishing we had done something differently in some way or another.

Think about it; without mistakes, there are things you might not have known today. Every mistake you make is an opportunity to learn something new, increase your reservoir of knowledge, and grow as a person.

For every mistake I’ve made, I admitted my errors, corrected my wrongs, forgave myself, and moved on.

Today, I know how to run a profitable business that has been going strong for 20 years and counting. Suppose I had given up after that mistake? I would have lost the fruit of its labor today.

I now live with solid principles, personal values, and convictions. I have become brave and stand up for myself when it matters —all attributed lessons learned from those past mistakes.

Without mistakes, there are things you might have never known today. Every mistake you make is an opportunity to learn something new, increase your reservoir of knowledge, and grow as a person.

Real-life first-hand experiences carry a lot of personal convictions. I see them as tools that mold and shape you into becoming the perfect human being you envisioned.

Hearing someone else’s life experiences may guide and help you to some extent, but having your own experiences feels different — and reminds you never to touch a hot iron with your bare hands or risk getting burnt.

So rather than being hard on yourself after a mistake, View it this way: "When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.” — Unknown.

Move on from your mistakes.

Your mistakes may torment you and leave you feeling like a bad person. The pain from some mistakes may never truly go away. You’re left feeling they somehow lay within you dormant, waiting for the right trigger to resurface or resurrect them.

But it will do you good to get past your mistakes and shift your thoughts from the past, relieve yourself from the hurt and pain so you can move on. to live the life you truly deserve; only then will you realize you have become better with every single one of your mistakes.

I, too, struggled with finding closure and peace from some of the mistakes I’ve made.

Here are some tips that have gotten me past the hurt and pain that wouldn't go away. You can get past your mistakes too.

• Focus on your emotions
• Acknowledge your wrongs
• Think of the mistakes as a learning lesson.
• Don't be self-critical.
• Develop coping skills to deal with your feelings.
• Focus on how the mistake has made you a better person.

The takeaways

We’re all good people until we mess up or make mistakes. We make wrong choices and bad decisions, say the wrong things, hurt ourselves and others and let people down.

Then we become our worst critics and beat up on ourselves — “What the hell just happened? Did I do that? Did I say that”?

In disbelief, we wish we could retrace our steps, retract our statements, and start all over.

But you cannot take back the things you’ve already said or done. So, you’re left with the disappointment and pain of healing your hurt, pain, and wound.

Life is all about admitting our wrongs. Use your mistakes to become a better individual.

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