My Top 7 Non-Sexual Turn Ons
It is possible to ooze sex appeal even while keeping it PG
I have many sexual turn-ons. A good make-out session and some neck kisses can cause things to go from 0–100. However, there are a bunch of non-sexual things that can get me off. Someone simply living can be so hot.
Sex toy retailer EdenFantasys asked 2,000 Americans about their biggest turn-ons. They found that not all of the answers to the questions were about things pertaining to what happens inside the bedroom. The survey found people were very different however there were a lot of non-sexual things that turned people on, many of them related to the other person’s character or how that person made them feel. Some of the most popular included:
- Smelling good 69%
- Being Affectionate 64%
- Making me feel appreciated 61%
- A good sense of fashion 46%
- Intelligence 45%
- Confidence 43%
- Generosity 39%
So I thought to make a list of my non-sexual turn-ons! The ones above are universal, so I thought to add my own personal touch to the list. As I’m bisexual, there are some that are gender-specific and others that so aren’t binary. My attraction to different genders differ, so my turn-ons would too, but for ease, I have specified where needed.
1. Socially aware men
I feel like women are openly more political, whereas men can be ignorant due to drowning in privilege. They’re at the top of the food chain so they tend to not understand where we are coming from.
There are those who fake liberalism and then those who actively live and practice it. I find the latter dangerously sexy so I will honestly risk it all for a guy who knows his theory and puts it into practice.
One conversation about how homophobia has negatively impacted men’s ability of self-expression and sexual freedom and I’m swooning. Ask for my consent before touching me and there is a 99% chance we will definitely fuck (consent is sexy).
I have a crush on a male writer who writes on many of these topics — yes, my crushes transcend physicality. To my crush, we will never meet and I don’t even know what you look like but just know I think I’m in love with you.
2. Women with short hair
When it comes to women, I have a range of interests. It would be fair to say I don’t have a type but there is something about a woman with short hair that is sexy. It screams “fuck the patriarchy but also look at me being cute af.”
I was recently watching Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, and I was just in awe of Tati Gabrielle. She has short bleached blonde hair and I swear it was love at first sight. I am also a little obsessed with Paige from Are You The One season 8.
3. People in suits
With men, I think it is the sharp angles that do it for me. I have a weird thing for backs and broad shoulders which suits really bring out well.
A suit can take a guy from 0 to 100. I once dated a guy who worked at tailors. On our first date, he was coming from work and he apologized for looking so formal. I decided I would be open to having sex 5 minutes into the date.
I think it may also be the implied power that comes from wearing them. In both men and women, suits bring about this authority. I recently fell into the rabbit hole via a Twitter thread dedicated to women in ‘power suits’. It was great.
4. Writers and singers
I decided early that I would never date a singer or fellow writer. I don’t need someone to hypnotize me with words or sweet melodies.
Just think of the pied piper and what happened to all those children. Stay away from singers.
As with writers, I think they can over-romanticize or be very grandiose over the simplest of things. I have seen many friends fall for this trap. Falling for someone who would then claim it was never that serious.
I may have my writer crushes but for this reason, I will do nothing about them. I would much rather be with someone who doesn’t know the difference between a verb and adverb thank you very much!
5. Having piercings and/ or tattoos
I have no tattoos but I am obsessed with piercings. From my nipples up, I am punctured with steel (I have 9). So I find a person with a shared interest in body décor alluring. Normally, it means we have the same quirks and views of self-expression.
There is a kinship there. Plus, men or women with tattoos and/or piercings just look good.
6. Being nice to waitstaff
I have worked in the hospitality industry for over 3 years. First as a waitress and now as a bartender. Mostly, people are very nice. However, there are a few people that are just unnecessarily rude. People who will ignore the other 10+ tables and assume the restaurant should revolve around them (and never tip).
What is most annoying is that these customers are usually surrounded by friends, family, and even their partners who sit there and do nothing.
That could never be me.
I once dating someone who was nasty to a waitress, and I never saw him again. As they say, you can tell a person’s true character by the way they interact with people they see as “beneath them”.
7. Dog people
You like/have dogs?
Marry me.