A Modern Fairy Tale

My Professor Friend Married a Man of Lower Status

Many questioned her choice

Silence has its own language and in that silence he found words within himself; words for her, words for him and words for them.” ― Faraaz Kazi, Truly, Madly, Deeply

My friend is forty-eight years old. She is a tenured law professor at a mid-level university. Never married. Never really in love. She has always been an introvert who keeps to herself. Most men found her non-commutative, not recognizing that it was just her way. Love evaded her.

One day, one of her students had a medical emergency in her classroom, and the paramedics were called. The student was taken to the hospital. One paramedic returned to the school to let the professor know which hospital they had taken the student to. She thanked him.

She said he looked so tired that she asked him if he wanted to take a break and get a cup of coffee from the school cafeteria. He accepted her offer. He was fifty and had only ever been married to his job. So began their slow-moving romance.

When they were together, it was no problem for him if she needed time alone or became over socialized. He was not insulted if she did not want to go out for days. She missed him sometimes as he worked a lot, but she enjoyed being alone. He moved into her house after three years. He asked her to marry him after four years. She accepted.

It was on… except there was one big thing he did not know about her. She was wealthy: a combination of an inheritance from her grandmother and her diligence with money. He knew she made three times what he did but he did not know about her savings. When they went on vacation, she covered most expenses. He paid for his travel expenses, but she took care of everything else once they arrived.

She told him about her money. The vacation home they loved and visited annually in Florida was hers. She owned her car and her house. She never had student loans. There was a lot of debt with him. He was the first in his family to escape poverty by becoming a trained professional.

He offered to sign a prenuptial agreement, but she refused. Having him love her and be with her was beyond her wildest dreams. She feared she would be alone for the rest of her life with only her money to keep her company.

When we met for her bachelorette party, some of her drunken friends pointed out he was below her socioeconomic status. They had reasons she should not marry him. He did not match her in but one socioeconomic factor. The four factors are occupation, education, income/wealth and where a person lives. She turned and smiled at her friends, all of whom were married. She laughed and said she did not care if he was a cockroach covered in poo with multiple cockroaches on his back. He was her cockroach. We all laughed, but I understood what she said. His lack of status was of no importance to her.

From conversations with her, I knew she would pay off his debts after they were married. He had not asked her to do so, but she saw no reason for him not to enjoy their life. He continued working throughout their romance and planned to keep working after marriage.

I can’t wait to see how this turns out for them over the long haul. Late in life, she found someone who loves her as she is. He found someone who doesn’t care if he loves his job.

I told my husband about the bachelorette party. He looked at me and said I was his cockroach. He may be right as I know I can be unreasonable. I hope that everyone finds that person who loves them as they are, not as society wishes they would be. There is no better way to live and love.

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Toni Crowe retired as the Vice President of Operations to pursue her dream of being a writer. Toni has written six books, two of which won the 2019 Reader’s Choice Gold Awards. Her bestselling business book, “Bullets and Bosses Don’t Have Friends: How Do You Manage A Man Sitting With His Dick in His Hand?” was one of the winners. Her first book, “Never a $7 Whore”, was the other.

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