My Orgasms Taught Me to Love My Voice

Phone sex with my husband gave me the confidence I was missing

I had never tried phone sex with my husband.

When I first met him, neither of us had cell phones. No one did.

We moved in together soon after that. We uHauled each other and became homebodies.

Over the years, we didn’t spend many nights apart. If we went out of town, it was usually together.

So, we never had any reason to have phone sex. There were never lonely nights when all we had were our voices. We were always within reach of each other.

Not that I wanted to have phone sex anyway. For one thing, I’m really shy. The kinds of words I write in my articles aren’t the kinds of words I usually say out loud in bed.

I’m also self-conscious. Whenever I try to say something dirty, I can’t help but think of how unsexy it must sound. I always imagine it sounds silly.

But maybe the thing that held me back the most is that I had the wrong idea of what phone sex could be.

When I heard about phone sex, I pictured two people breathily reciting off-the-cuff erotica to each other while getting off. I didn’t think I could do it without blushing the entire time, and I wasn’t sure I could keep the imagery going while I was coming.

But then I got pulled into some phone sex. It was unexpected and it completely changed my mind about it. I discovered that it doesn’t need to involve any words at all, and that it can still be very exciting and sexy even without the dirty talk.

Just hearing someone groan, grunt, and pant on the other end of the line was enough for some amazing mutual masturbation at a distance.

I used to think phone sex didn’t really appeal to me. But after that first call, I wanted more.

I had phone sex a few more times. As things went along, the guy I was phone fucking got more verbal. He would call me pet names, say my name (swoon), and call me a good girl for getting myself off (double swoon).

As hot as it was to hear those words spilling out of my phone, I mostly stayed mum. I sometimes let out an accidental “Fuck” or “Oh yes” but never purposely strung more than two words together.

Besides, I still had a hard time thinking of my voice as sexy. I didn’t think there was anything I could say that would add something to the experience that my moans weren’t already bringing to it.

Even though I didn’t say much, I noticed a change in myself. Having phone sex gave me extra confidence, in general but also in my voice. It’s not that I enjoyed the sound of it or anything — I just got more comfortable using it.

Ever since then, I’ve been trying to push myself out of my little voiceless bubble.

Mic Check

With the extra confidence I had from all that phone sex, I started using my voice more.

I took a baby step by posting audio clips from my articles on Instagram. They’re short snippets, and some of them I recorded, re-recorded, and edited more than I had to, but it still felt great to share them.

In fact, I got so excited about those recordings that I decided to take things semi-professional.

I bought a Blue Yeti mic, a pop filter, and some headphones. I downloaded mixing and editing software and took my little Instagram clips to a new level.

I couldn’t believe the difference my little setup made. Hearing my voice processed through the mic felt like ASMR. Everything sounded so crisp, so clear, and so close. It wasn’t jarring or embarrassing — it was stimulating and soothing.

I spent hours playing with the mic. When I read my articles out loud while proofreading them, I did it with the mic on. I even occasionally kept it on when I was hanging out with my husband just so I could hear how cool our voices sounded through it.

And being the kind of person I am, it wasn’t long after I took the mic out of the box that I wondered how I could use it during sex.

I had a lot of ideas. I could record my orgasms, especially the laughing ones, which I think are fascinating and funny. I could just record myself having sex and then listen to it during our post-fuck cuddle.

But the one thing I kept coming back to was how much better phone sex would be with all this gear. And I knew just the guy I could do it with.

Studio Quality Sex

I hit up my husband for phone sex, and he was interested. He seemed more than down for a very literal booty call.

But having phone sex with him was a very deliberate and planned activity. I really liked the idea of doing it, but there was no reason to do it because there wasn’t much physical distance between us.

The whole thing was kind of ridiculous, really, but I really wanted to have phone sex with high quality sound.

So, we put the kids to bed, hung out for a bit, and then decided to just go for it. We parted ways. I stayed in the bedroom and he went down to the living room.

While he figured things out on his end, I got set up on mine. I don’t have a boom arm or anything like that (yet), so I had to place the microphone on a small fold-out table next to my bed. I laid down with my head just underneath it and with my laptop, vibrator, and hybrid lube next to me.

I got comfortable and called my husband. We flirted lightly for a minute, and then got down to business. I was really excited to hear what was coming — plus, we’ve been married ten years so we know what’s up.

I listened to him breathe heavily and say dirty things while he stroked his cock a floor below me.

I found myself saying more, though nothing too explicit. I tugged my pants off and announced that I was half naked.

I started touching myself slowly and gently. When I heard him say “I wish I was up there slowly licking your pussy,” I went at it more vigorously.

I groaned. He told me how hot I sounded. He told me what he’d do to me if he was next to me. It was so fucking hot I moved things ahead sooner than I had planned. “I’m getting my vibrator,” I told him as I squeezed a bit of lube from the bottle.

It felt a little absurd to organize some phone sex with Mr. Austin, but as I laid there listening to him moan, breathe heavily, and tell me he wanted to come on my ass, I thought “Okay, this was worth it!”

We had done mutual masturbation before, but this was the first time we focused purely on the auditory part.

And I had been dirty on the phone, but this was different. Phone sex with a semi-stranger is hot as fuck, but I could really let loose when it was my husband listening. A lot of what I said was very matter of fact, like “I’m going to flip to my stomach now” and “I’m going to come one more time,” but it was something.

The really big difference, though, was how well I could hear myself. Hearing myself come in stereo, through my headphones, was insane. It sounded surprisingly good. Like, really good. I could hear the details of my moans. I could hear the depth of my breathing. Everything was enhanced and I loved every second of it.

It came as a complete shock. In that moment, I started falling in love with my voice.

We both came one last time. We breathed into our mics a bit more and then I said “Wow, that was hot… See you in a few minutes” and hung up.

We reconvened in bed and cuddled. That’s the big perk to having phone sex with someone in your house — the aftercare is way better.

Post-Orgasmic Confidence

Phone fucking my husband was unnecessary. We could’ve gotten ourselves off in bed together. But I’m always looking for ways to keep things interesting, and this definitely worked.

It did more than just keep things fresh, though. Finding out that I love the way I sound when I have an orgasm helped me learn to love the way I sound when I’m not coming.

I had been working on getting to a point where I can tolerate my voice enough so I could use it and broadcast it. I wanted to record audio versions of my stories. I wanted to start a podcast with Mr. Austin. I knew I’d get there, but I thought it would involve a lot of cringing.

Now, I’m not so sure. Yeah, there’s some cringing. But the more I listen to myself, the closer I get to appreciating my voice and no longer assuming my husband is just being nice when he says he likes hearing it.

That made me more confident overall. I spend less time worrying about what people must think about the way I sound. I can just speak, share my words, and know they have just as much right to be out there as anyone else’s.

Not liking my voice was holding me back. It kept me from doing some of the things I wanted to do. It kept me from branching out. I’m not letting it stop me anymore, and that’s a really exciting feeling.

But if all I end up getting from this extra confidence is hotter phone sex (with or without my husband), it was still worth it.

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