I Had Phone Sex Without Saying a Word

It helped me come to terms with my voice

I’m self-conscious about my voice. I feel like it’s got a bit of a low register, and even though I can find that incredibly sexy in other women, I don’t like the way it sounds coming from me.

Maybe the worst thing about my voice is that it sounds like my mom’s. That makes me feel like I sound like a mom. And yeah, I am a mom, but I’m also a sex blogger and I’d much rather sound like that.

There’s something else that bothers me a bit: my accent. I grew up and still live on the East coast of Canada, but I go through most of my day forgetting I sound Canadian. And then I hear my voice in a video or an audio recording and I hear a bit of the accent poke through and I just sound like a hoser.

My life now revolves around making my thoughts, my ideas, my stories, and my words public. But I’ve been very hesitant about broadcasting my voice in any way. Normally, it doesn’t come up, but I was once asked to be interviewed and I turned it down. I just couldn’t stand the thought of putting my sound waves out there.

I Got Pulled into Phone Sex

Phone sex never came up in my life, and I was always grateful for that.

When I was young and dating, my only access to a phone was the one in my parents’ kitchen. Even if I did get a boy on the line, there’s no way I’d stand by the sink making dirty talk, hoping my mom doesn’t walk in.

By the time I got my own phone, I was 18. I was also living with my boyfriend and we were never apart for very long. He didn’t take any extended trips out of town without me or anything like that. He did leave for work on most days, but I didn’t think it would be appropriate to have him call me so I can give him a hard-on while he’s surrounded by factory workers.

Even if I had a good opportunity to do it, though, I’m not sure I would’ve. Even though I spill all the filthy details of my sex life online, I’m actually quite shy when it comes to saying that stuff out loud. I couldn’t even bring myself to talk dirty during sex, how was I going to manage a whole sexy conversation over the phone?

Over time, I more or less stopped using the phone altogether. Unless I absolutely had to call somewhere to book an appointment, I stuck to text and email. I was (and am) no stranger to emailing someone who left me a voicemail because it’s easier and less weird for me.

I figured that was the last nail in the coffin as far as phone sex was concerned. Then, one evening, I just sort of fell into it.

I started flirting with someone online and before I knew it, we were getting quite dirty over text message.

Dirty texts turned into full-blown one-handed-typing cybersex.

In one of my texts, I described giving him a blowjob. I painted a picture of how I would drop to my knees, unclasp his belt, and service him with my mouth.

I told him what my tongue would do. He told me how it would make him moan. And I wrote, “Fuck, I wish I could hear that.”

He wrote back “That can be arranged.”

I immediately dropped the sexy act and went into defense mode. “No phones, I’m too shy!!!” I wrote, with a bunch of blushy emojis.

I had already told him I don’t do phones. I’m an uber-Millennial so my phone is for texting, casual games, and porn.

He offered to record himself for me. Now, that I could get down with.

I agreed to his offer, but then he said, “I want to hear you, too. I have an idea. Call my phone. Yet one rule… Neither of us can say a word.”

Wow.

That was hot as hell. But I didn’t know what the fuck to do.

I was in a full-blown panic. I stopped jilling off and started fretting instead.

I loved the idea of hearing him moan. I loved the idea of moaning for him. But I was just so fucking self-conscious.

I kept telling myself, “No, you can’t do this. You can’t get on the phone.” But I couldn’t bring myself to actually say no because I wanted to so badly.

I was precisely torn between saying yes and saying no. I just needed a little nudge in either direction.

I didn’t know what to do, so I did what I always do when I need help or support — I asked my husband.

He was working downstairs, so I fired off a quick email that had more typos than I’m willing to share.

Emma: He wants to get on the phone and listen to me! It sounds hot af but also scary af!

Jake: If it’s hot, go for it.

Jake: You always say you want to get out of your comfort zone ;)

That gave me the encouragement I needed. I felt closer to saying yes. I knew I should say yes. But I just needed the courage to actually type it out.

I eased myself in. After being silent for five minutes and probably leaving him wondering where I went, I told my cyberfuckbuddy that I was still trying to decide. I told him I was nervous and trembling (I was).

His reply gave me the courage to say yes: “No pressure. Your pace. Always.”

(Well, okay, not courage exactly, but it made me so fucking horny I couldn’t say no.)

That was it. I was in.

I called his number. He answered. I was already breathing heavily when the call started — a combination of being terrified as hell and even hornier. But neither of us said a word. As promised, we listened to each other masturbate vigorously and loudly.

I moaned. I whimpered. I gasped. I practically hyperventilated.

He breathed heavily. He groaned. He moaned. He sounded so enthusiastic about his pleasure and about hearing mine.

Even though there were no words, no imagery, nothing but sound, it was so much better than cybersex.

I knew it would be hot, but I had no idea I would enjoy it that much. It was so intimate and made me feel vulnerable.

I liked the safety of not being seen — I only had to worry about the way I sound, not the way I look, what I was wearing, or what I was doing to myself.

I came quite a few times, and I only stopped and gave my fingers a break when I heard him climax.

I hung up the call and laid in my bed panting for a few minutes. Once I recovered, I emailed my husband again.

Emma: Fuck that was hot!!!

Emma: Can you bring me some water?

Getting Mouthy

I was so scared of phone sex, but after experiencing this insanely hot way to cap off a cybersex session, I couldn’t wait for more.

I already had plans the following day. A company sent me a wearable, remote-controlled G-spot and clit vibrator for my consideration, and I was going to spend my afternoon testing it out.

I told my cyber buddy about it and said, “Too bad you don’t have the remote ;)”

He wrote back asking me about the different settings. “I’ll tell you which buttons to press.”

I told him about the ten settings of vibrations and pulses the toy could cycle through. It also has a button with a picture of a flame for the strongest and most intense setting.

I sat on my bed and lubricated the toy. I slid it inside me and got into a comfortable position. I called his number again and waited for his instructions.

He started with a low setting. I moaned softly while I felt the vibrations inside me and on my clit.

Then, he brought me to a pulse to tease me, and then progressively more intense settings, until I reached an orgasm.

He switched things up a bit every time, but kept the general pattern of building to an orgasm and then making me work my way back up to the next one.

Hearing him give me instructions was divine. I loved the commanding sound of his voice. I loved the dirty talk encouraging me through each orgasm. I loved all of it.

I was getting more verbal, too. I was trying not to talk but I couldn’t help myself.

My words were terse. I groaned “Oh my god!” when I was riding through an intense sensation. I said a flustered “Oh fuck!” when a sensation caught me off-guard. And I moaned “Yes!” a few times because I wanted him to hear me say it.

After I came enough times, he told me to press the Fire button. I did as I was told and left it on that setting and had a few more orgasms.

I can’t remember how many exactly. I just know it felt amazing. As I came one final time, he called me a good girl. Those two words echoed in my mind for days.

Since then, my phone sex has been a little more verbal. I still haven’t uttered a full sentence. But I’m no longer shy about letting out a few words that perfectly express my pleasure and arousal.

Gaining Confidence in My Voice — One Dirty Call at a Time

Having phone sex brought me out of my shell.

I make plenty of noise but I still barely speak a word, but it’s been enough to give me some confidence in my voice.

Hey, if it can help a guy come, it’s gotta be good for something, right?

My insecurities are still there, but I feel like I’ve grown in leaps and bounds.

After just two weeks of phone sex, I’m shopping for a microphone. No, not for phone sex (well, not just for phone sex). I’m thinking of recording audio versions of some of my posts over on my personal blog. I might even be starting a podcast with my husband (we have a list of episode ideas — we’re in deep).

Those feel like big changes in my life, and it’s all thanks to a bit of casual sex, some hot encouragement from my cyberfuckbuddy, and a little nudge from my husband.

I don’t know if I’ll ever like my voice, but I’m coming to realize that most people don’t. So, I’m doing my best to just embrace it and be as confident as I can about it. If I can get on the phone and come out loud, I sure as hell can talk into a mic.

I’m also taking steps to be more verbal during sex. I want to up my phone sex game a bit, and I also want to talk dirty to my husband when he’s making me feel amazing. I’m not quite there yet, but I will be soon. And when I do finally call him daddy and tell him to eat my pussy, I just hope he doesn’t think I sound like my mother.

For a more detailed review of the toy I used while having phone sex, check out my companion post over on my blog.

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