Life/Relationships/Self
My Dalliance With A Therapist Didn’t Go As I Expected
Was I dumped?
Concluding that you might need professional help with challenges in life can be difficult. I know it was for me. After I went through a particularly trying time in my life several years ago, I sought therapy.
I had never been to a therapist before, although I had often pondered its potential usefulness.
During this time in my life, I was experiencing a high amount of stress and anger, so I thought it would be a good idea to try going to therapy to vent my problems and frustrations.
I was both nervous and excited that I had decided to take control of myself and my emotions by seeking help.
That was, until, my first session.
The therapist was nice enough. However, once we began discussing my situation and my reason for being there, the dynamics between us took an unexpected turn. The therapist began talking about her problems and all the challenges she faced herself and suddenly I was the one listening and giving her advice.
Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around?
We wrapped up the first session and I politely thanked the therapist for her time. I left feeling as though I hadn’t gotten much off my chest at all. I had thought that was the whole point of therapy. Regardless, I chalked the whole thing up to myself not being assertive enough to use my voice.
I vowed to do better next time.
However, when the next session came around and I sat on the couch ready to pour out my complaints for the week, once again my therapist began telling me more of her problems to which I responded with my thoughts and advice.
It felt as though instead of going to therapy, I was just stopping by with a friend to vent over coffee, only she was the one venting much more than I was.
By the third session, I felt as though I was being shortchanged by a close friend who was monopolizing the conversation with her problems. Only I was paying for it.
After asking me a few more follow-up questions at the end of the session, my therapist said, “Well, you seem very well adjusted and high functioning in your life, so I don’t think there’s much else to do here.”
What???
She was essentially telling me that she didn’t want to see me anymore and that I had everything handled, or at least it seemed that way to her.
Wow. Not what I was expecting at all. I felt as though I had barely gotten enough words in to be able to substantiate this kind of conclusion.
I left that therapist wondering if maybe my problems weren’t as bad as I thought they were. Maybe I did have it all figured out, or at least I had my coping mechanisms in order.
I went to therapy because I felt overwhelmed with feelings of anger and frustration, but I came out of it realizing that I had way more strength and resilience than I had thought, even in the eyes of someone who was a trained therapist who had her own problems.
I joked with my friends that I got dumped by my therapist because I didn’t have enough issues for her to solve. Maybe that’s true.
OR maybe she just wasn’t the greatest therapist.
What are your thoughts on therapy? Have you been? Did it help?
